Difference between revisions of "Funeral for a Fiend/Quotes"
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
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|episode=Funeral for a Fiend | |episode=Funeral for a Fiend | ||
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| − | :'''Sideshow Bob''': "Let's not tarry. As Shakespeare said, "If it were done when 'tis done, then 'twere best it were done quickly." Power on!'' | + | :'''Sideshow Bob''': "Let's not tarry. As Shakespeare said, "If it were done when 'tis done, then 'twere best it were done quickly." Power on! ''[turns on the laptop and laughs maniacally]'' This time I've made no mistakes." |
:'''Lisa''': "Actually, you made one. What Shakespeare really said was, "'Twere well it were done quickly."" | :'''Lisa''': "Actually, you made one. What Shakespeare really said was, "'Twere well it were done quickly."" | ||
| − | :'''Sideshow Bob''': Yes, I'm sure you've studied the immortal bard extensively under your "Miss Hoover." '' | + | :'''Sideshow Bob''': Yes, I'm sure you've studied the immortal bard extensively under your "Miss Hoover." ''[leaves and shuts the door]''" |
:'''Lisa''': "Macbeth, act one, scene seven. Look it up." | :'''Lisa''': "Macbeth, act one, scene seven. Look it up." | ||
| − | :'''Sideshow Bob''': '' | + | :'''Sideshow Bob''': ''[re-enters]'' I shall! ''[takes the laptop]'' Come on, Wikipedia. Load, you unwieldy behemoth! |
:''(laptop explodes, Bob falls to the ground)'' | :''(laptop explodes, Bob falls to the ground)'' | ||
| Line 23: | Line 23: | ||
---- | ---- | ||
:''(Krusty plays the piano and sings in mourning at Sideshow Bob's funeral.)'' | :''(Krusty plays the piano and sings in mourning at Sideshow Bob's funeral.)'' | ||
| − | :'''Krusty''': '' | + | :'''Krusty''': ''[singing]'' ''"Farewell, Sideshow Bob'' |
:''Your shoes are empty and the stage is dark.'' | :''Your shoes are empty and the stage is dark.'' | ||
:''Bart stole your nitroglycerin'' | :''Bart stole your nitroglycerin'' | ||
| Line 30: | Line 30: | ||
:''And it seems to me your loyal fans'' | :''And it seems to me your loyal fans'' | ||
:''Oughta buy this DVD'' | :''Oughta buy this DVD'' | ||
| − | :'' | + | :''[Holds up a Best of Sideshow Bob DVD]'' |
:''Of all your best-loved sketches'' | :''Of all your best-loved sketches'' | ||
:''On The Krusty Show.'' | :''On The Krusty Show.'' | ||
| Line 39: | Line 39: | ||
:''And we saw your "Frank and Beans."'' | :''And we saw your "Frank and Beans."'' | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :'' | + | :''[At Cirucit Circus]'' |
| − | :'''Homer''': '' | + | :'''Homer''': ''[to Bart]'' "Now ignore all the fancy shmancy thingamajigs, boy. We're just gonna get a camera battery and go home." |
:'''Salesman #1''': "Interested in a car stereo?" | :'''Salesman #1''': "Interested in a car stereo?" | ||
:'''Homer''': "No, thanks. Just here for a battery." | :'''Homer''': "No, thanks. Just here for a battery." | ||
| Line 48: | Line 48: | ||
:'''Homer''': "Battery, battery, battery!" | :'''Homer''': "Battery, battery, battery!" | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :'' | + | :''[At Sideshow Bob's trial]'' |
:'''Sideshow Bob''': Your Honor, I choose to represent myself. And let me say... I did try to kill the Simpsons. I truly did. | :'''Sideshow Bob''': Your Honor, I choose to represent myself. And let me say... I did try to kill the Simpsons. I truly did. | ||
| − | :'' | + | :''[The entire courtroom gasps in shock]'' |
| − | :'''Prosecutor''': '' | + | :'''Prosecutor''': ''[to Homer and Marge]'' Okay, if he doesn't say "but" right now, we are home free. |
:'''Sideshow Bob''': But-- | :'''Sideshow Bob''': But-- | ||
:'''Prosecutor''': Damn! | :'''Prosecutor''': Damn! | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :'' | + | :''[The family watches a commercial for a new restaurant]'' |
:'''Wes Doobner''': "Howdy, folks! Are tired of family arguments over where to go for dinner?" | :'''Wes Doobner''': "Howdy, folks! Are tired of family arguments over where to go for dinner?" | ||
:'''Homer''': "Sometimes I think about gettin' on a bus and never comin' back." | :'''Homer''': "Sometimes I think about gettin' on a bus and never comin' back." | ||
| Line 63: | Line 63: | ||
:'''Homer''': "Sold!" | :'''Homer''': "Sold!" | ||
:'''Wes Doobner''': "Plain noodles." | :'''Wes Doobner''': "Plain noodles." | ||
| − | :'' | + | :''[Marge sighs]'' |
:'''Wes Doobner''': "With butter." | :'''Wes Doobner''': "With butter." | ||
:'''Marge''': "Yowza!" | :'''Marge''': "Yowza!" | ||
| Line 71: | Line 71: | ||
:'''Bart''': "Let me at it!" | :'''Bart''': "Let me at it!" | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :'' | + | :''[Lisa explains how she figured out Sideshow Bob's scheme on the way to save Bart at the funeral home]'' |
:'''Lisa''': "Bob planned this from the beginning." | :'''Lisa''': "Bob planned this from the beginning." | ||
:'''Homer''': "Uh-huh." | :'''Homer''': "Uh-huh." | ||
| Line 88: | Line 88: | ||
:'''Lisa''': "It was a diabolical scheme and every member of his family played a part!" | :'''Lisa''': "It was a diabolical scheme and every member of his family played a part!" | ||
:'''Homer''': "Are you done? 'Cause I've been circling the funeral home for 10 minutes." | :'''Homer''': "Are you done? 'Cause I've been circling the funeral home for 10 minutes." | ||
| − | :'''Lisa''': '' | + | :'''Lisa''': ''[Begrudgingly]'' "Yes." |
| − | + | ---- | |
| − | + | ''[The Simpsons enter the church to say farewell to Sideshow Bob]'' | |
| − | :I dont know about you, but I still can't stand him | + | :'''Homer:''' "I dont know about you, but I still can't stand him. ''[echoes]'' ''I still can't stand him, I still can't stand him.''" |
| − | : | + | :''[Everyone gasps]'' |
| − | + | :'''Homer:''' "I don't care about these church jerks" ''[echoes]'' | |
| − | :I don't care about these church jerks | + | :'''Marge:''' "Homer, you're behaviour is hanus. ''[echoes]'' ''Anus, anus, anus.''" |
| − | |||
| − | :Marge: Homer, you're behaviour is hanus | ||
| − | |||
| − | |||
{{Season 19 Q}} | {{Season 19 Q}} | ||
Revision as of 15:45, October 22, 2010
- Sideshow Bob: "Let's not tarry. As Shakespeare said, "If it were done when 'tis done, then 'twere best it were done quickly." Power on! [turns on the laptop and laughs maniacally] This time I've made no mistakes."
- Lisa: "Actually, you made one. What Shakespeare really said was, "'Twere well it were done quickly.""
- Sideshow Bob: Yes, I'm sure you've studied the immortal bard extensively under your "Miss Hoover." [leaves and shuts the door]"
- Lisa: "Macbeth, act one, scene seven. Look it up."
- Sideshow Bob: [re-enters] I shall! [takes the laptop] Come on, Wikipedia. Load, you unwieldy behemoth!
- (laptop explodes, Bob falls to the ground)
- Sideshow Bob: "Hoist on his own petard."
- Lisa: "It's "hoist with his own petard.""
- Sideshow Bob: "Oh, get a life."
- Sideshow Bob: "Before you die, perhaps you'd like to know how I engineered my ultimate revenge."
- Homer:" I'd like to know if Wes Doobner is aware of what you're doing in his restaurant!"
- Sideshow Bob: "I'm Wes Doobner!"
- Homer: "Mr. Doobner, I have a complaint: I work hard and when I go out with my family I expect a certain level of basic--"
- Sideshow Bob: "Shut up!"
- Kent Brockman: "America has a tradition of turning outlaws into legends after their deaths: Billie the Kid. Bonnie and Clyde. Jesus Christ."
- (Krusty plays the piano and sings in mourning at Sideshow Bob's funeral.)
- Krusty: [singing] "Farewell, Sideshow Bob
- Your shoes are empty and the stage is dark.
- Bart stole your nitroglycerin
- And then your heart, it barked.
- And it seems to me your loyal fans
- Oughta buy this DVD
- [Holds up a Best of Sideshow Bob DVD]
- Of all your best-loved sketches
- On The Krusty Show.
- It's full of extra features
- And deleted scenes.
- Like when you fell and split your pants
- And we saw your "Frank and Beans."
- [At Cirucit Circus]
- Homer: [to Bart] "Now ignore all the fancy shmancy thingamajigs, boy. We're just gonna get a camera battery and go home."
- Salesman #1: "Interested in a car stereo?"
- Homer: "No, thanks. Just here for a battery."
- Salesman #2: "Big special on camcorders!"
- Homer: "All I want is a battery."
- Saleswoman: "Care to make love, sir?"
- Homer: "Battery, battery, battery!"
- [At Sideshow Bob's trial]
- Sideshow Bob: Your Honor, I choose to represent myself. And let me say... I did try to kill the Simpsons. I truly did.
- [The entire courtroom gasps in shock]
- Prosecutor: [to Homer and Marge] Okay, if he doesn't say "but" right now, we are home free.
- Sideshow Bob: But--
- Prosecutor: Damn!
- [The family watches a commercial for a new restaurant]
- Wes Doobner: "Howdy, folks! Are tired of family arguments over where to go for dinner?"
- Homer: "Sometimes I think about gettin' on a bus and never comin' back."
- Wes Doobner: "Why not try Wes Doobner's World Famous Family Style Rib Huts? The rib joint with somethin' for everyone!"
- Homer: "Good luck with my finicky appetite!"
- Wes Doobner: "We've got ribs--"
- Homer: "Sold!"
- Wes Doobner: "Plain noodles."
- [Marge sighs]
- Wes Doobner: "With butter."
- Marge: "Yowza!"
- Wes Doobner: "Texas tofu!"
- Lisa: "Yummy, yumma!"
- Wes Doobner: "And the easiest place mat puzzle in the state."
- Bart: "Let me at it!"
- [Lisa explains how she figured out Sideshow Bob's scheme on the way to save Bart at the funeral home]
- Lisa: "Bob planned this from the beginning."
- Homer: "Uh-huh."
- Lisa: "He wanted to be captured at the restaurant."
- Homer: "Yes."
- Lisa: "He would never get a Shakespeare quote wrong."
- Homer:"No."
- Lisa: "His mother was a Shakespearian actress."
- Homer: "Oh, yeeh!"
- Lisa: "His father was a doctor."
- Homer: "A doctor, huh?"
- Lisa: "So when Bob collaspsed in the courtroom..."
- Homer: "I remember."
- Lisa: "...his father could take that opportunity to inject Bob with a powerful drug that simulated death."
- Homer: "Uh-huh."
- Lisa: "It was a diabolical scheme and every member of his family played a part!"
- Homer: "Are you done? 'Cause I've been circling the funeral home for 10 minutes."
- Lisa: [Begrudgingly] "Yes."
[The Simpsons enter the church to say farewell to Sideshow Bob]
- Homer: "I dont know about you, but I still can't stand him. [echoes] I still can't stand him, I still can't stand him."
- [Everyone gasps]
- Homer: "I don't care about these church jerks" [echoes]
- Marge: "Homer, you're behaviour is hanus. [echoes] Anus, anus, anus."
