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Difference between revisions of "The Simpsons: Tapped Out Clash of Creeds: Christmas Royale content update/Tire Fire and Brimstone Gameplay"
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Revision as of 10:28, January 5, 2021
Tire Fire and Brimstone
Tire Fire and Brimstone Pt. 1
After the user logs in on December 27th:
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Ned: Can you help us bring Homer back home for Christmas, Rabbi?
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Rabbi Krustofsky: Enough with the C-word already.
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Rabbi Krustofsky: No guarantees, but I will pray for divine blessing on your quest.
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Rabbi Krustofsky: Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu.
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Ned: ...Melech ha'olam.
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Rabbi Krustofsky: How do you know this prayer?
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Ned: I try to follow Christ in every way I can — and since he had a bar mitzvah, I had one, too!
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Task: Collect Menorahs [x150] If the user has Rabbi Krustofsky: Task: Make Rabbi Krustofsky Pray for Divine Guidance (4h, Temple Beth Springfield, Town Hall or Brown House) Task: Make Ned Out-Pray Rabbi Krustofsky (4h, Temple Beth Springfield, Town Hall or Brown House)
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Moses: Holy Me, where am I?
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Rabbi Krustofsky: Springfield, your Mosesness.
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Moses: The one in Egypt, the Sinai, or Palestine?
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Rabbi Krustofsky: America. Don't ask.
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Moses: Phew. I was wondering where the pyramids were. I mean, I know it was involuntary, but we put a lot of work into them. You'd kind of hope they held up.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Tire Fire and Brimstone Pt. 2
After completing Tire Fire and Brimstone Pt. 1:
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Ned: Our neighbors have been seduced by a cult. We need your help setting them free.
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Moses: I can see this city has an acute case of idolatry. I'm going to prescribe immediate smiting for everyone who worships the baby god.
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Ned: What, no! That's not a cult!
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Rabbi Krustofsky: Called it.
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Moses: If symptoms continue, take their two first-born sons and call me in the morning.
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Rabbi Krustofsky: That's not the cult we're worried about right now. There's a new one that set up a compound and lured all our people with promises of rides in a spaceship.
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Moses: Ah, the old spaceship promo. We tried that with Ezekiel. It gets dusted off every so often.
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Moses: I will deliver Homer and Baby Jesus out of captivity. Follow me to the cult compound!
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King Herod: Did you say Baby Jesus? Keep your hands off him. He's mine!
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Ned: Oh, no, we prayed too hard! That's King Herod!
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Ned: What will you do with Baby Jesus when you find him?
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King Herod: If I answered that, you'd say I was OUT OF MY MIND!
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King Herod: But if you're not completely satisfied with the results, then YOUR BABY JESUS IS FREEEE!
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Ned: That's a pretty good deal.
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Task: Collect Menorahs [x150] If the user has Moses: Task: Make Moses Wander in the Desert (4h, Cactus Rocks, Cactus Patch, Quicksand, Town Plaza, Old mine, Springfield Mall or Brown House) Task: Make Ned Follow Moses Into the Desert (4h, Cactus Rocks, Cactus Patch, Quicksand, Town Plaza, Old mine, Springfield Mall or Brown House) Task: Make Marge Follow Moses Into the Desert (4h, Cactus Rocks, Cactus Patch, Quicksand, Town Plaza, Old mine, Springfield Mall or Brown House) If the user has King Herod: Task: Make King Herod Follow Tiny Footsteps Around (4h, Homes)
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Moses: Behold, ye doubters and grumblers and directions-wanters, for we have reached unto the cult compound!
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Marge: That's the outlet mall!
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Moses: Then verily let us go back to Route 60 and try the other exit.
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Marge: When are we going to get there?
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Moses: Based on my desert-wandering experience, I foresee an arrival time of roughly thirty years from now, forty tops, depending on traffic.
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Marge: *annoyed murmur*
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Moses: Be patient, thou blue-haired Jezebel. I am the foremost prophet of the Lord — his uber prophet, you might say — and I have a five-star rating for getting my fares to their destination.
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Marge: Who gave you a five-star rating?
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Moses: The Israelites. But I think they were trying to butter me up after I caught them practicing idolatry in the back of my caravan.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Tire Fire and Brimstone Pt. 3
After completing Tire Fire and Brimstone Pt. 2:
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The Leader: Jello? The Leader speaking.
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Marge: I have a VIP who wants to join your cult. You need to come pick us up.
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The Leader: How VIP are we talking about?
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Marge: V V V!
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The Leader: It's not Lovitz, is it? I mean, I guess he's famous, but…
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Marge: No. This VIP says he's a divinely-appointed prophet of the Lord.
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The Leader: Kanye! I'll be right there!
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Task: Collect Menorahs [x150] Task: Make Marge Tell Moses to Act Like Kanye (4h, Cactus Rocks, Cactus Patch, Quicksand, Town Plaza, Old mine, Springfield Mall or Brown House) Task: Make Moses Look Up the False God Kanye (4h, Cactus Rocks, Cactus Patch, Quicksand, Town Plaza, Old mine, Springfield Mall or Brown House) If the user has The Leader: Task: Make The Leader Bring the Spaceship (4h, Cult Flying Saucer, Movementarian Componud, Movementarian Ad Truck, Simpson House or Brown House)
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The Leader: You look familiar. Have we met?
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Moses: It depends. Have you read…Leviticus? *begins warming up fire and brimstone*
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The Leader: Hmm, don't think I have. Is that the new Grisham?
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Moses: No, but I've been wanting to read that. A courtroom drama? How does he come up with that stuff?
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Moses: Say, where'd you get that sweet spaceship?
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The Leader: Right? Pretty cool, huh? It's a special treat for all Movementarians.
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Moses: So wait, I join and I get to ride that thing?
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The Leader: All the way to planet Blisstonia.
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Moses: Just tell me where to sign!
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The Leader: Well, I'd say let's get you some robes, but then it looks like you've already got that covered.
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The Leader: Follow me back to the compound!
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Moses: Finally, someone's leading ME!
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Tire Fire and Brimstone Pt. 4
After completing Tire Fire and Brimstone Pt. 3:
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Baby Jesus: You seen this new guy? What a suck up.
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Homer: Pfft, who does he think he is, the second coming of Moses?
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Moses: People of the movement! I have inscribed the Leader's laws onto a tablet. And you're not going to believe what his first commandment is!
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The Leader: Your boosting of our commandment click-through is most impressive, Moses. You have earned top ranking and an immediate ride in the spaceship.
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Baby Jesus: Ah, c'mon!
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Homer: Yeah, he just got here!
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Task: Collect Menorahs [x150] If the user has The Leader: Task: Make The Leader Give Moses the VIP Treatment (4h, Movementarian Componud, Movementarian Ad Truck, Simpson House or Brown House) Task: Make Moses Do the Movementarian PR Circuit (4h, Movementarian Componud, Movementarian Ad Truck, Simpson House or Brown House) Task: Make Homer Clean Moses' Socks and Sandals (4h, Movementarian Componud, Movementarian Ad Truck, Simpson House or Brown House) If the user has Baby Jesus: Task: Make Baby Jesus Clean Moses' Bathroom (4h, Movementarian Componud, Movementarian Ad Truck, Simpson House or Brown House) If the user has Patty: Task: Make Patty Inspect Homer's Work (4h, Movementarian Componud, Movementarian Ad Truck, Simpson House or Brown House) If the user has Selma: Task: Make Selma Inspect Baby Jesus' Work (4h, Movementarian Componud, Movementarian Ad Truck, Simpson House or Brown House)
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Marge: Homer, there you are.
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Homer: Marge? Are you joining The Leader and going into space with me and Baby Jesus?
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Marge: Homie, it's time you stop with this Movementarian silliness and come back home. It's almost Christmas and I don't want yet another holiday ruined.
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Homer: Aww, you're right, Marge. How could I have been so stupid? Let's go home.
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The Leader: Oh, Homer… Want to come test out the new rocket boosters on the spaceship?
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Homer: Ooh! Spaceship! *runs off*
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Marge: *annoyed grumble*
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The Leader: Did you really think it would be that easy, Marge?
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Tire Fire and Brimstone Pt. 5
After completing Tire Fire and Brimstone Pt. 4:
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Marge: Your Moses was a complete dud. I wanted to one-star him but I was afraid he'd one-star me.
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Rabbi Krustofsky: Yeah, you gotta be careful. Moses is as good as it gets. If he can't lead someone out of captivity, maybe they don't want to be led out of captivity.
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Marge: Not to be a "Karen" or anything, but I'd like to speak to Moses' manager.
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Rabbi Krustofsky: How is that not being a Karen? That's the definition of being a Karen!
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Marge: I'd like to speak with your manager, too.
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Rabbi Krustofsky: Let me see if he's available.
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Task: Collect Menorahs [x175] If the user has Rabbi Krustofky: Task: Make Rabbi Krustofky Entreat Yahweh (4h, Temple Beth Springfield, Town Hall or Brown House) Task: Make Marge Worry That She's a Karen (4h, Temple Beth Springfield, Town Hall or Brown House)
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Rabbi Krustofsky: Alright, look. I'll call Yahweh, but no promises.
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Rabbi Krustofsky: ...
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Rabbi Krustofsky: It's ringing.
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Rabbi Krustofsky: ...
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Yahweh: *click* YOU DARE SUMMON ME FROM THE GREAT BEYOND WITH THE UNLAWFUL UTTERANCE OF MY NAME??!!!
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Rabbi Krustofsky: I – I'm sorry – I just – there's a woman here–
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Yahweh: Heh, I'm just messin' with you, Hyman. Tell her I'm out of the office.
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Marge: I can hear you!
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Yahweh: Say I'm on a call.
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Marge: I heard that too!
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Quest reward: 200 and 10
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