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Difference between revisions of "Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?/Quotes"

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
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{{tabQ|episode=Brother,_Can_You_Spare_Two_Dimes?}}
 
{{tabQ|episode=Brother,_Can_You_Spare_Two_Dimes?}}
 
+
{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Bart's Friend Falls in Love|Kamp Krusty}}
<hr width="50%" />
+
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:''[It's time for the annual company physicals at [[Springfield Nuclear Power Plant]].]''
 
:''[It's time for the annual company physicals at [[Springfield Nuclear Power Plant]].]''
 
:'''Tester''': ''[looking at readout]'' "This can't be right. This man has 104% body fat!"
 
:'''Tester''': ''[looking at readout]'' "This can't be right. This man has 104% body fat!"
Line 9: Line 8:
 
:'''Homer''': "Go to Hell."
 
:'''Homer''': "Go to Hell."
  
<hr width="50%" />
+
----
 
 
 
:'''[[Marge]]''': "How was your day at work, dear?"
 
:'''[[Marge]]''': "How was your day at work, dear?"
 
:'''[[Homer]]''': ''[matter-of-factly]'' "Oh, the usual. Stand in front of this, open that, pull down this, bend over, spread apart that, turn your head that way, cough."
 
:'''[[Homer]]''': ''[matter-of-factly]'' "Oh, the usual. Stand in front of this, open that, pull down this, bend over, spread apart that, turn your head that way, cough."
  
<hr width="50%" />
+
----
 
 
 
:''[The results from the company physical show that radiation from the nuclear plant has made [[Homer]] sterile. To keep him from suing, [[Mr. Burns]] concocts a story about Homer getting the First Annual Montgomery Burns Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence. All he has to do is sign a form (which is actually a waiver). At Homer's insistence, Burns includes a trophy and a big awards ceremony.]''
 
:''[The results from the company physical show that radiation from the nuclear plant has made [[Homer]] sterile. To keep him from suing, [[Mr. Burns]] concocts a story about Homer getting the First Annual Montgomery Burns Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence. All he has to do is sign a form (which is actually a waiver). At Homer's insistence, Burns includes a trophy and a big awards ceremony.]''
 
:'''[[Lisa]]''': "This show is the biggest farce I ever saw!"
 
:'''[[Lisa]]''': "This show is the biggest farce I ever saw!"
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:'''Lisa''': "I stand corrected."
 
:'''Lisa''': "I stand corrected."
  
<hr width="50%" />
+
----
 
 
 
:''[Burns introduces Smokin' [[Joe Frazier]], who presents the award.]''
 
:''[Burns introduces Smokin' [[Joe Frazier]], who presents the award.]''
 
:'''Joe Frazier''': "And now, the winner of the First Annual Montgomery Burns Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence ..."
 
:'''Joe Frazier''': "And now, the winner of the First Annual Montgomery Burns Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence ..."
Line 29: Line 25:
 
:'''Homer''': "Don't jinx it!"
 
:'''Homer''': "Don't jinx it!"
  
<hr width="50%" />
+
----
 
 
 
:''[Meanwhile, [[Homer]]'s half-brother [[Herb]] has been living as a bum since losing his car company. He sees a young mother struggling to understand her baby, and gets the idea of inventing a baby translator to make his fortune back.]''
 
:''[Meanwhile, [[Homer]]'s half-brother [[Herb]] has been living as a bum since losing his car company. He sees a young mother struggling to understand her baby, and gets the idea of inventing a baby translator to make his fortune back.]''
 
:'''Herb''': ''[talking to fellow bums]'' "I'm tellin' you, all a man needs is an idea. And I've got an idea!"
 
:'''Herb''': ''[talking to fellow bums]'' "I'm tellin' you, all a man needs is an idea. And I've got an idea!"
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:'''Herb''': "All right, a man needs '''two''' things. An idea, and money to get it off the ground."
 
:'''Herb''': "All right, a man needs '''two''' things. An idea, and money to get it off the ground."
  
<hr width="50%" />
+
----
 
 
 
:''[While the family is in a furniture store shopping for a new couch, [[Homer]] tries out a fancy vibrating recliner called the "Spinemelter 2000" and falls in love.]''
 
:''[While the family is in a furniture store shopping for a new couch, [[Homer]] tries out a fancy vibrating recliner called the "Spinemelter 2000" and falls in love.]''
 
:'''Homer''': ''[still vibrating]'' "I-I-I-I-'l-l-l-l-l t-t-t-a-a-a-k-k-k-e-e-e i-i-i-t-t-t-t-t-t!!!!"
 
:'''Homer''': ''[still vibrating]'' "I-I-I-I-'l-l-l-l-l t-t-t-a-a-a-k-k-k-e-e-e i-i-i-t-t-t-t-t-t!!!!"
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:'''Homer''': "Marge, there's an empty spot I've always had inside me. I tried to fill it with family, religion, community service ... but those were dead ends! I think this chair is the answer."
 
:'''Homer''': "Marge, there's an empty spot I've always had inside me. I tried to fill it with family, religion, community service ... but those were dead ends! I think this chair is the answer."
  
<hr width="50%" />
+
----
 
 
 
:''[After accidentally going to the [[Flanders family|Flanders]] house, [[Herb]] rings the Simpsons' doorbell and waits for someone to answer.]''
 
:''[After accidentally going to the [[Flanders family|Flanders]] house, [[Herb]] rings the Simpsons' doorbell and waits for someone to answer.]''
 
:'''Herb''': "What am I gonna say? This is the guy who ruined me. But on the other hand, he's family. So many conflicting emotions. How to express them?"
 
:'''Herb''': "What am I gonna say? This is the guy who ruined me. But on the other hand, he's family. So many conflicting emotions. How to express them?"
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:'''Herb''': "I'll try, but I'm not making any promises."
 
:'''Herb''': "I'll try, but I'm not making any promises."
  
<hr width="50%" />
+
----
 
 
 
:''[The Simpsons and [[Herb]] sit down to dinner. [[Bart]] makes small talk.]''
 
:''[The Simpsons and [[Herb]] sit down to dinner. [[Bart]] makes small talk.]''
 
:'''Bart''': "Unky Herb, what advice would you give to a boy who will most likely become a bum like yourself?"
 
:'''Bart''': "Unky Herb, what advice would you give to a boy who will most likely become a bum like yourself?"
 
:'''Herb''': "Discarded pizza boxes are an inexpensive source of cheese."
 
:'''Herb''': "Discarded pizza boxes are an inexpensive source of cheese."
  
<hr width="50%" />
+
----
 
 
 
:''[After borrowing [[Homer]]'s $2,000 of "Excellence" money and spending hours working with [[Maggie]], [[Herb]] is ready to unveil his baby translator prototype.]''
 
:''[After borrowing [[Homer]]'s $2,000 of "Excellence" money and spending hours working with [[Maggie]], [[Herb]] is ready to unveil his baby translator prototype.]''
 
:'''Herb''': "Now, I bet you're all wondering what's under this sheet."
 
:'''Herb''': "Now, I bet you're all wondering what's under this sheet."
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:'''Maggie''': ''[via translator]'' "I have soiled myself. How embarrassing."
 
:'''Maggie''': ''[via translator]'' "I have soiled myself. How embarrassing."
  
<hr width="50%" />
+
----
 
 
 
:''[At the Baby Convention, [[Herb]]'s translator is a big hit and sells extremely well, making him his fortune back. Herb pays [[Homer]] back the $2,000 he borrowed and gives gifts to [[Marge]] and the kids.]''
 
:''[At the Baby Convention, [[Herb]]'s translator is a big hit and sells extremely well, making him his fortune back. Herb pays [[Homer]] back the $2,000 he borrowed and gives gifts to [[Marge]] and the kids.]''
 
:'''Homer''': ''[looking forlorn]'' "Herb, I don't think there's a vibrating chair in that bag for me."
 
:'''Homer''': ''[looking forlorn]'' "Herb, I don't think there's a vibrating chair in that bag for me."
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:'''Herb''': "Homer, I bought you the damn chair."
 
:'''Herb''': "Homer, I bought you the damn chair."
 
:''[Now ecstatic, Homer covers Herb with kisses.]''
 
:''[Now ecstatic, Homer covers Herb with kisses.]''
 
<hr width="50%" />
 
  
 
{{Season 3 Q}}
 
{{Season 3 Q}}

Revision as of 20:40, November 22, 2010


Season 3 Episode Quotes
058 "Bart's Friend Falls in Love"
059
"Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?"
"Kamp Krusty" 060

[It's time for the annual company physicals at Springfield Nuclear Power Plant.]
Tester: [looking at readout] "This can't be right. This man has 104% body fat!"
[The tester turns to see Homer eating a chicken drumstick while he's suspended in the buoyancy tank.]
Tester: "Hey, no eating in the tank!"
Homer: "Go to Hell."

Marge: "How was your day at work, dear?"
Homer: [matter-of-factly] "Oh, the usual. Stand in front of this, open that, pull down this, bend over, spread apart that, turn your head that way, cough."

[The results from the company physical show that radiation from the nuclear plant has made Homer sterile. To keep him from suing, Mr. Burns concocts a story about Homer getting the First Annual Montgomery Burns Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence. All he has to do is sign a form (which is actually a waiver). At Homer's insistence, Burns includes a trophy and a big awards ceremony.]
Lisa: "This show is the biggest farce I ever saw!"
Bart: "What about the Emmys?"
Lisa: "I stand corrected."

[Burns introduces Smokin' Joe Frazier, who presents the award.]
Joe Frazier: "And now, the winner of the First Annual Montgomery Burns Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence ..."
Homer: [eyes closed, crossing fingers] "Please-please-please-please-please!"
Lisa: "Dad, you know you won!"
Homer: "Don't jinx it!"

[Meanwhile, Homer's half-brother Herb has been living as a bum since losing his car company. He sees a young mother struggling to understand her baby, and gets the idea of inventing a baby translator to make his fortune back.]
Herb: [talking to fellow bums] "I'm tellin' you, all a man needs is an idea. And I've got an idea!"
Bum: "Then how come you're still a bum?"
Herb: "All right, a man needs two things. An idea, and money to get it off the ground."

[While the family is in a furniture store shopping for a new couch, Homer tries out a fancy vibrating recliner called the "Spinemelter 2000" and falls in love.]
Homer: [still vibrating] "I-I-I-I-'l-l-l-l-l t-t-t-a-a-a-k-k-k-e-e-e i-i-i-t-t-t-t-t-t!!!!"
Marge: [looking at price tag] "This chair is two thousand dollars! We could buy a whole living room set for that."
Homer: "Marge, there's an empty spot I've always had inside me. I tried to fill it with family, religion, community service ... but those were dead ends! I think this chair is the answer."

[After accidentally going to the Flanders house, Herb rings the Simpsons' doorbell and waits for someone to answer.]
Herb: "What am I gonna say? This is the guy who ruined me. But on the other hand, he's family. So many conflicting emotions. How to express them?"
[The door finally opens. It's Homer.]
Homer: "Herb?"
[Herb punches Homer in the jaw and walks inside.]
Bart and Lisa: "Unky Herb!"
Herb: "Bart! Lisa! I'm so glad to see you." [They hug.]
Homer: [rubbing his head] "You weren't so glad to see me."
Herb: "I'm sorry, Homer. But I'm still mad at you. Every word you say just makes me want to punch you in the face!"
Homer: "Well, while you're a guest in my home, could you just kick me in the butt?"
Herb: "I'll try, but I'm not making any promises."

[The Simpsons and Herb sit down to dinner. Bart makes small talk.]
Bart: "Unky Herb, what advice would you give to a boy who will most likely become a bum like yourself?"
Herb: "Discarded pizza boxes are an inexpensive source of cheese."

[After borrowing Homer's $2,000 of "Excellence" money and spending hours working with Maggie, Herb is ready to unveil his baby translator prototype.]
Herb: "Now, I bet you're all wondering what's under this sheet."
Bart: "Not really. We peeked inside while you were in the john."
Herb: "Well, here it is again. My baby translator!" [pulls the sheet off]
Marge: [impressed] "Oooooooooo!!!"
Herb: "Marge, you don't have to humor me."
Marge: "Well, it's pretty ingrained."
Herb: "What do you think, Homer?"
Homer: "Herb, this is the stupidest thing I've ever seen. I can't believe we blew two thousand dollars on it when right now rollers could be kneading my buttocks!"
Herb: "Homer, could you stop thinking about your ass?"
Homer: "I'll try, but I can't."
[Maggie takes her pacifier out of her mouth and babbles. The translator goes into action.]
Maggie: [via translator] "Lavish attention on me and entertain me."
Marge: [gasps] "Maggie! You talked!"
Herb: "You see? It tells you exactly what's on the baby's mind."
Lisa: [covering Maggie's eyes] "Maggie? Maggie?"
Maggie: [via translator] "Where did you go?"
Lisa: [uncovering Maggie's eyes] "Peek-a-boo!"
Maggie: [via translator] "Oh, there you are. Very amusing."
Herb: "Well, Homer, now what do you think?"
Homer: "I don't know, Herb. People are afraid of new things. You should have taken an existing product and put a clock in it or something."
Marge: "Homer, every mother in the country is going to want one of these."
[Maggie takes her pacifier out of her mouth and babbles again.]
Maggie: [via translator] "I have soiled myself. How embarrassing."

[At the Baby Convention, Herb's translator is a big hit and sells extremely well, making him his fortune back. Herb pays Homer back the $2,000 he borrowed and gives gifts to Marge and the kids.]
Homer: [looking forlorn] "Herb, I don't think there's a vibrating chair in that bag for me."
Herb: "Homer, walk me to my car." [They go outside.]
Homer: "What do I get? What do I get? It's not another punch in the face, is it? Because if it is, I don't want it."
Herb: "This is what you get. I forgive you. You can call me brother, and I can do the same."
Homer: "That's it?"
Herb: "That's it."
Homer: "I see your point - brother."
Herb: "Give me a hug - brother."
Homer: "All right, but I've never really hugged a man before."
[As the two brothers embrace, a delivery truck from "The Seatery" pulls into the driveway, behind Homer.]
Herb: "Homer, I bought you the damn chair."
[Now ecstatic, Homer covers Herb with kisses.]

Template:Season 3 Q