Difference between revisions of "Kids in the Mall/Quotes"

Latest revision as of 09:32, May 15, 2021

Marge: More smokey-links, Homey?

Homer: But of course.

Bart: Careful not to get your hand too close to its mouth, mom. You could lose a finger.

Marge: You haven't touched your eggs, Lisa. Would you like them scrambled instead?

Lisa: Sure. You've cracked open the fragile shell of my soul and spilled out my girlhood dreams to be packed and fried and served up for the ravenous consumption of my uncaring family, Why not scrambled, too?

Bart: Lisa, that the hell are you talking about?

Homer: Watch your mouth, boy. Lisa, that the hell are you talking about?

Marge: Bart, your sister is upset because she won't be able to see the Biff Westwood concert at the Springfield Amphitorium tonight.

Lisa: All my friends are going. It's the biggest cultural since the library declared amnesty on overdue book fines!

Marge: We just can't afford $35 concert tickets, Lisa.

Bart: Who cares about that no-talent pre-fab pretty boy anyway?

Lisa: What do you know about talent? Your favorite musicians had to sell their souls to the devil just to get a record contract.

Bart: Hey, it work, didn't it?

Marge: You can finish your bickering in the car, kids. Your father is taking you to the mall to but birthday gifts for aunt Patty and aunt Selma.

Homer: But Marge, I had vert important plans for today.

Homer: [thinking] Quick, man—think!

Marge: What planes?

Homer: D'oh!

Lisa: The malll... [sigh]. Embodiment of bland sterility in a climate-controlled society, where pathetic consumers buy meaningless trifles to disguise the emptiness of their lives.

Bart: Yeah—great, isn't it?

Homer: Yahoo!

Bart: C'mon, Homer. Just get 'em a carton of cigarettes and let's head for the video arcade, man.

Homer: Kids, when your buying presents for you (shudder) loved ones, you have to take time to search for things that meet their special need and interests. Bingo! Our journey of misery is over!

Sign: Minutes later...

Homer: This oughta hold 'em.

Bart: Where to now?

Homer: What th--? Mmmmmm. Soft 'N' Doughy.

Lisa: Oh, no. We've lost him.

Bart: He'll be there 'till the mustard runs out. Come on, let's hit the arcade.

Lisa: Wow! I wonder what's going on.

Bart: Girls. Who cares?

Lisa: Bart, look!

Bart: Cool, man! A new game!

Lisa: Bart, this is my only chance to see Biff Westwood in person! I need you by my side, so you can call the paramedics when I faint.

Bart: Why should I?

Lisa: Beacuase I know how the dead seas monkeys got in Grampa Simpsons' denture cup.

Bart: D'oh!

Girls: We want Biff! We want Biff!

Girl: We've been waiting two hours! Where is he?

Biff's Manager: Girls! Girls! I'm Biff's Manager. Please be patient. I'm sure he'll be here any minute.

Bart: Uh, I better go see how the pretzelmeister is doing.

Bart: [thinking] If I'm lucky, the new video game isn't totally encrusted with Squishee slime yet...

Bart: Huh?! You, girls.... One at a time, girls. No need to-- ---Crooowww!

Girls: Eeeeeeeeee!

Bart: Aye carumba!

Girl: I've got his shorts!

Girl: No, they're mine!

Girl: His shoe! His shoe!

Girl: Eeeek!

Lisa: [thinking] Once again the individual artist falls victim to the whims of the mob. How tragic. If only I could have gotten a piece of his shorts...

Bart: Pssst—Lisa! Help!

Lisa: (GASP) Bart! It was you! How could you do such a thing?!

Biff's Manager: Hey, you kids!

Bart: Ulp...

Biff's Manager: That was the craziest stunt I've ever seen, dude! I thought those girls were gonna lynch me. You really saved my bacon. And to show my appreciation, here's two free tickets to tonight's concert!

Lisa: Bart, I take back all those terrible things I said about you. If it weren't for you, we wouldn't be here!

Bart: Please, don't remind me.