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Difference between revisions of "Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire/Quotes"

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{{TabQ
+
{{TabQ|nogags}}
|episode= Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire
 
}}
 
 
{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|TV Simpsons|Bart the Genius|Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire}}
 
{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|TV Simpsons|Bart the Genius|Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire}}
  
:'''[[Homer Simpson|Homer]]: '''How many grades does this school have?
+
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} How many grades does this school have?
 
 
 
----
 
----
 
:''[Bart is singing in the school choir, so Marge cannot hear him individually]''
 
:''[Bart is singing in the school choir, so Marge cannot hear him individually]''
:'''[[Marge Simpson|Marge]]''': Isn't Bart sweet, Homer? He sings like an angel.
+
{{qf|[[Marge]]}} Isn't Bart sweet, Homer? He sings like an angel.
:'''[[Bart Simpson|Bart]]''': ''[close up, singing]'' Oh, Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg. The Batmobile broke its wheel, and the Joker got awa- (he is cut off.)
+
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} ''[close up, singing]'' Oh, Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg. The Batmobile broke its wheel, and the Joker got awa- ''[he is cut off.]''
 
 
 
----
 
----
:'''Bart''': Aw, come on Dad, this could be the miracle that saves the Simpsons' Christmas. If TV has taught me anything, it's that miracles always happen to poor kids at Christmas. It happened to Tiny Tim, it happened to Charlie Brown, it happened to The Smurfs, and it's going to happen to us.
+
{{qf|Bart}} Aw, come on, Dad, this could be the miracle that saves the Simpsons' Christmas. If TV has taught me anything, it's that miracles always happen to poor kids at Christmas. It happened to Tiny Tim, it happened to Charlie Brown, it happened to The Smurfs, and it's going to happen to us.
:'''Homer''': Oh, all right. Who's Tiny Tim?
+
{{qf|Homer}} Oh, all right. Who's Tiny Tim?
 
 
 
----
 
----
 
:''[Marge shows Homer that the Christmas money jar is empty because of Bart]''
 
:''[Marge shows Homer that the Christmas money jar is empty because of Bart]''
:'''Homer''': ''[gasps and screams]'' Oh! It's true! The jar is empty! Oh my God! We're ruined. Christmas is cancelled. No presents for anyone!
+
{{qf|Homer}} ''[gasps and screams]'' Oh! It's true! The jar is empty! Oh my God! We're ruined. Christmas is cancelled. No presents for anyone!
 
 
 
----
 
----
:'''Marge''': You will not be getting a tattoo for Christmas.
+
{{qf|Marge}} You will not be getting a tattoo for Christmas.
:'''Homer''': Yeah, if you want one you'll have to pay for it out of your own allowance.
+
{{qf|Homer}} Yeah, if you want one, you'll have to pay for it out of your own allowance.
 
 
 
----
 
----
:'''Marge''': Alright, children. Let me have those letters and I'll send them to Santa's workshop in the North Pole.
+
{{qf|Marge}} Alright, children. Let me have those letters and I'll send them to Santa's workshop in the North Pole.
:'''Bart''': Oh please, there's only one fat guy that brings us presents and his name ain't Santa.
+
{{qf|Bart}} Oh, please, there's only one fat guy that brings us presents and his name ain't Santa.
 
 
 
----
 
----
:'''Marge''': ''[writing]'' Dear Friends of the Simpson Family, We had some sadness and some gladness this year. First the sadness: our little cat Snowball was unexpectedly run over and went to Kitty Heaven. But we bought a new little cat, Snowball II, so I guess life goes on. Speaking of life going on, Grampa is still with us, feisty as ever. Maggie is walking by herself, Lisa got straight A's and Bart... well, we love Bart. The magic of the season has touched us all. Homer sends his love. Happy Holidays, The Simpsons.
+
{{qf|Marge}} ''[writing]'' Dear Friends of the Simpson Family, We had some sadness and some gladness this year. First the sadness: our little cat Snowball was unexpectedly run over and went to Kitty Heaven. But we bought a new little cat, Snowball II, so I guess life goes on. Speaking of life going on, Grampa is still with us, feisty as ever. Maggie is walking by herself, Lisa got straight A's and Bart... well, we love Bart. The magic of the season has touched us all. Homer sends his love. Happy Holidays, The Simpsons.
 
 
 
----
 
----
:'''Tattoo Removal Technician''': ''[turning on laser]'' Now whatever you do boy, don't squirm. You don't want to get this sucker near your eye or groin.
+
{{qf|Tattoo Removal Technician}} ''[turning on laser]'' Now whatever you do boy, don't squirm. You don't want to get this sucker near your eye or groin.
 
 
 
----
 
----
:'''Bart''': Hey Santa, what's shakin' man?
+
{{qf|Bart}} Hey, Santa, what's shakin' man?
:'''Homer''': ''[as Santa]'' What's your name, Bart-ner... er... little partner?
+
{{qf|Homer}} ''[as Santa]'' What's your name, Bart-ner... er... little partner?
:'''Bart''': I'm Bart Simpson, who the hell are you?
+
{{qf|Bart}} I'm Bart Simpson, who the hell are you?
:'''Homer''': ''[annoyed]'' I'm Jolly ol' Saint Nick.
+
{{qf|Homer}} ''[annoyed]'' I'm Jolly ol' Saint Nick.
:'''Bart''': Oh yeah? We'll see about that! ''[Pulls off his fake beard, just as their photo is taken]''
+
{{qf|Bart}} Oh yeah? We'll see about that! ''[Pulls off his fake beard, just as their photo is taken]''
:'''Homer''': D'oh!
+
{{qf|Homer}} D'oh!
 
 
 
----
 
----
:'''Bart''': Dad, you must really love us to sink so low.
+
{{qf|Bart}} Dad, you must really love us to sink so low.
 
 
 
----
 
----
:'''Homer''': Thirteen bucks? Hey, wait a minute!
+
{{qf|Homer}} Thirteen bucks? Hey, wait a minute!
:'''Clerk''': That's right. One hundred and twenty dollars gross, less social security, less unemployment insurance, less Santa training, less costume purchase, less beard rental, less Christmas club. See you next year.
+
{{qf|Clerk}} That's right. One hundred and twenty dollars gross, less social security, less unemployment insurance, less Santa training, less costume purchase, less beard rental, less Christmas club. See you next year.
 
 
 
----
 
----
:'''Homer''': ''[buying a chewtoy for Maggie]'' It says it's for dogs, but she can't read.
+
{{qf|Homer}} ''[buying a chewtoy for Maggie]'' It says it's for dogs, but she can't read.
 
 
 
----
 
----
:'''Homer''': Dasher, Dancer... Prancer... Nixon, Comet, Cupid... Donna Dixon?
+
{{qf|Homer}} ''[trying to remember the name of [[Santa]]'s reindeer]'': Dasher, Dancer... Prancer... Nixon, Comet, Cupid... Donna Dixon?
 
 
 
----
 
----
:'''Marge''': This is the best gift of all, Homer.
+
{{qf|Marge}} This is the best gift of all, Homer.
:'''Homer''': It is?
+
{{qf|Homer}} It is?
:'''Marge''': Yes, something to share our love - and frighten prowlers.
+
{{qf|Marge}} Yes, something to share our love - and frighten prowlers.
:'''Bart''': And if he runs away, he'll be easy to catch.
+
{{qf|Bart}} And if he runs away, he'll be easy to catch.
 
 
 
----
 
----
:'''Homer''': ''[as Santa, while he is walking out of his 'workshop']'' Hey little kids! Santa's back! Ho! Ho! ''[hits his head on the doorway]'' D'oh! Dammit to---
+
{{qf|Homer}} ''[as Santa, while he is walking out of his 'workshop']'' Hey, little kids! Santa's back! Ho! Ho! ''[hits his head on the doorway]'' D'oh! Dammit to---
 
 
 
----
 
----
 
:''[Homer falls off the roof whilst trying to hang Christmas lights]''
 
:''[Homer falls off the roof whilst trying to hang Christmas lights]''
:'''Homer''': Alright kids, prepare to be dazzled. Marge! Turn on the juice!
+
{{qf|Homer}} Alright, kids, prepare to be dazzled. Marge! Turn on the juice!
 
:''[Marge turns on the Christmas lights, and the results are less than spectacular. One bulb even blows out]''
 
:''[Marge turns on the Christmas lights, and the results are less than spectacular. One bulb even blows out]''
:'''Homer''': Well, what do you think kids? Beauty, isn't it?
+
{{qf|Homer}} Well, what do you think kids? Beauty, isn't it?
:'''[[Lisa Simpson|Lisa]]''': Nice try, Dad.
+
{{qf|[[Lisa]]}} Nice try, Dad.
:'''Bart''': Ugh...
+
{{qf|Bart}} Ugh...
 
 
 
----
 
----
 
:''[The whole family sings at the end, with Grampa playing the music by piano]''
 
:''[The whole family sings at the end, with Grampa playing the music by piano]''
:'''Family''': ''Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer''
+
{{qf|Family}} ''Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer''
 
:''Had a very shiny nose,''
 
:''Had a very shiny nose,''
 
:''And if you ever saw it,''
 
:''And if you ever saw it,''
 
:''You would even say it glows.''
 
:''You would even say it glows.''
:'''Bart''': Like a lightbulb!
+
{{qf|Bart}} Like a lightbulb!
:'''Homer''': Bart!!!
+
{{qf|Homer}} Bart!!!
:'''Family''': ''All of the other reindeer''
+
{{qf|Family}} ''All of the other reindeer''
 
:''Used to laugh and call him names.''
 
:''Used to laugh and call him names.''
:'''Lisa''': Like Schnozzola!
+
{{qf|Lisa}} Like Schnozzola!
:'''Homer''': Lisa!!!
+
{{qf|Homer}} Lisa!!!
:'''Family''': ''They never let poor Rudolph''
+
{{qf|Family}} ''They never let poor Rudolph''
 
:''Join in any reindeer games.''
 
:''Join in any reindeer games.''
:'''Bart''': Like strip poker!
+
{{qf|Bart}} Like strip poker!
:'''Homer''': I'm warning you two...!!
+
{{qf|Homer}} I'm warning you two...!!
:'''Family''': ''Then, one foggy Christmas Eve,''
+
{{qf|Family}} ''Then, one foggy Christmas Eve,''
 
:''Santa came to say...''
 
:''Santa came to say...''
:'''Marge''': Take it, Homer!
+
{{qf|Marge}} Take it, Homer!
:'''Homer''': Err... ''"Rudolph, get your nose over here,''
+
{{qf|Homer}} Err... ''"Rudolph, get your nose over here,''
 
:''So you can guide my sleigh... today."''
 
:''So you can guide my sleigh... today."''
:'''[[Abraham Simpson|Abe]]''': Oh, Homer...
+
{{qf|[[Grampa]]}} Oh, Homer...
:'''Family:''' ''Then all the reindeer loved him,''
+
{{qf|Family}} ''Then all the reindeer loved him,''
 
:''And they shouted out with glee:''
 
:''And they shouted out with glee:''
 
:''"Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer,''
 
:''"Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer,''
 
:''You'll go down in history!"''
 
:''You'll go down in history!"''
:'''Bart:''' Like Attila the Hu- ''[gets strangled by Homer]''
+
{{qf|Bart}} Like Attila the Hu—
:'''Homer:''' Why, you little--!
+
{{qf|Homer}} Why, you little--! ''[strangles Bart]''
  
{{Season 1 Q}}
+
{{Season 1|Q}}
[[Category:Quotes]]
 

Latest revision as of 07:35, March 16, 2022


Season 1 Episode Quotes
Short 48 "TV Simpsons"
001
"Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire"
"Bart the Genius" 002


Homer: How many grades does this school have?

[Bart is singing in the school choir, so Marge cannot hear him individually]
Marge: Isn't Bart sweet, Homer? He sings like an angel.
Bart: [close up, singing] Oh, Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg. The Batmobile broke its wheel, and the Joker got awa- [he is cut off.]

Bart: Aw, come on, Dad, this could be the miracle that saves the Simpsons' Christmas. If TV has taught me anything, it's that miracles always happen to poor kids at Christmas. It happened to Tiny Tim, it happened to Charlie Brown, it happened to The Smurfs, and it's going to happen to us.
Homer: Oh, all right. Who's Tiny Tim?

[Marge shows Homer that the Christmas money jar is empty because of Bart]
Homer: [gasps and screams] Oh! It's true! The jar is empty! Oh my God! We're ruined. Christmas is cancelled. No presents for anyone!

Marge: You will not be getting a tattoo for Christmas.
Homer: Yeah, if you want one, you'll have to pay for it out of your own allowance.

Marge: Alright, children. Let me have those letters and I'll send them to Santa's workshop in the North Pole.
Bart: Oh, please, there's only one fat guy that brings us presents and his name ain't Santa.

Marge: [writing] Dear Friends of the Simpson Family, We had some sadness and some gladness this year. First the sadness: our little cat Snowball was unexpectedly run over and went to Kitty Heaven. But we bought a new little cat, Snowball II, so I guess life goes on. Speaking of life going on, Grampa is still with us, feisty as ever. Maggie is walking by herself, Lisa got straight A's and Bart... well, we love Bart. The magic of the season has touched us all. Homer sends his love. Happy Holidays, The Simpsons.

Tattoo Removal Technician: [turning on laser] Now whatever you do boy, don't squirm. You don't want to get this sucker near your eye or groin.

Bart: Hey, Santa, what's shakin' man?
Homer: [as Santa] What's your name, Bart-ner... er... little partner?
Bart: I'm Bart Simpson, who the hell are you?
Homer: [annoyed] I'm Jolly ol' Saint Nick.
Bart: Oh yeah? We'll see about that! [Pulls off his fake beard, just as their photo is taken]
Homer: D'oh!

Bart: Dad, you must really love us to sink so low.

Homer: Thirteen bucks? Hey, wait a minute!
Clerk: That's right. One hundred and twenty dollars gross, less social security, less unemployment insurance, less Santa training, less costume purchase, less beard rental, less Christmas club. See you next year.

Homer: [buying a chewtoy for Maggie] It says it's for dogs, but she can't read.

Homer: [trying to remember the name of Santa's reindeer]: Dasher, Dancer... Prancer... Nixon, Comet, Cupid... Donna Dixon?

Marge: This is the best gift of all, Homer.
Homer: It is?
Marge: Yes, something to share our love - and frighten prowlers.
Bart: And if he runs away, he'll be easy to catch.

Homer: [as Santa, while he is walking out of his 'workshop'] Hey, little kids! Santa's back! Ho! Ho! [hits his head on the doorway] D'oh! Dammit to---

[Homer falls off the roof whilst trying to hang Christmas lights]
Homer: Alright, kids, prepare to be dazzled. Marge! Turn on the juice!
[Marge turns on the Christmas lights, and the results are less than spectacular. One bulb even blows out]
Homer: Well, what do you think kids? Beauty, isn't it?
Lisa: Nice try, Dad.
Bart: Ugh...

[The whole family sings at the end, with Grampa playing the music by piano]
Family: Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer
Had a very shiny nose,
And if you ever saw it,
You would even say it glows.
Bart: Like a lightbulb!
Homer: Bart!!!
Family: All of the other reindeer
Used to laugh and call him names.
Lisa: Like Schnozzola!
Homer: Lisa!!!
Family: They never let poor Rudolph
Join in any reindeer games.
Bart: Like strip poker!
Homer: I'm warning you two...!!
Family: Then, one foggy Christmas Eve,
Santa came to say...
Marge: Take it, Homer!
Homer: Err... "Rudolph, get your nose over here,
So you can guide my sleigh... today."
Grampa: Oh, Homer...
Family: Then all the reindeer loved him,
And they shouted out with glee:
"Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer,
You'll go down in history!"
Bart: Like Attila the Hu—
Homer: Why, you little--! [strangles Bart]
Season 1 Quotes
Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire Bart the Genius Homer's Odyssey There's No Disgrace Like Home Bart the General Moaning Lisa The Call of the Simpsons The Telltale Head Life on the Fast Lane Homer's Night Out The Crepes of Wrath Krusty Gets Busted Some Enchanted Evening