Difference between revisions of "HomerJSimpson"

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HomerJSimpson

Website Information

URL:	http://twitter.com/#!/homerjsimpson
Status:	Active
Launched:	July 24, 2009
Type of Website:	Twitter account

HomerJSimpson is Homer Simpson's account on Twitter.

List of Tweets

This article or section is incomplete.

Please improve the article, or discuss the issue on the talk page.

2009

Date	Link	Tweet
10:31 PM, 24 Jul	http://twitter.com/#!/HomerJSimpson/status/2826330894	Hey, it’s Homer! Have you heard of this new thing called “Twitter”? Try it, it's cool.
10:50 PM, 24 Jul	http://twitter.com/#!/HomerJSimpson/status/2826624378	At Moe’s getting drunk and I just bet Lenny I can do a front flip off the bar!
11:05 PM, 24 Jul	http://twitter.com/#!/HomerJSimpson/status/2826868667	At the hospital getting stitches.
24 Jul		I just bet the doctor I can do a flip off the stretcher!
24 Jul 09		At the hospital getting a rod put into my spine.
25 Jul 09		Oh yeah, @aplusk ? Well I think your tweets are boring, pointless, ilbilerate and flul fo splelnig rerors!
25 Jul 09		I'm learbing to text wigh my thjubs... so fat, so goo.
25 Jul 09		My Dad found this old home movie of when I was a kid. Check it out. http://bit.ly/yDOWp
25 Jul 09		I didn’t vote for @algore, but I thank him every day for giving us this. http://bit.ly/2RSkAB
25 Jul 09		I was eating pancakes and I spilled syyyyrup all over the "yyyyyyy" keyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
25 Jul 09		I’m at Comic-Con! I’m hoping to meet Matt Groening so I can thank him for giving us “Family Guy.” #sdcc
25 Jul 09		Man, everybody at Comic-Con dresses so weird. Socks with shoes? I guess it takes all kinds.
26 Jul 09		I’m at Comic-Con and I just saw a toddler dressed up like George Lucas...
26 Jul 09		He’s so cute in his fake beard and little – oh, wait, that is George Lucas. #sdcc
26 Jul 09		To that dude who keeps honking at me: I can’t go any faster. I’m pushing the car with my feet through a hole in the floor. #comic-con #sdcc
26 Jul 09		I accidentally put underwear on outside my pants, so can everyone reading this do the same thing so I don’t look stupid.
26 Jul 09		I’m engaged in the act of love with a meatball sub.
27 Jul 09		What am I doing right now? Tweeting obviously, you idiot.
27 Jul 09		My friend Lenny says if I want to do Twitter my tweets can't be more than one hundred and forty characters long, but I think he's full of cr
27 Jul 09		Who dares me to push this big red button on my nuclear plant control
28 Jul 09		Marge says I can't say I'm in the bathroom so I'm... Uh, raking leaves. And reading
28 Jul 09		I'm Homer Simpson and I smell like poop and I eat poop for breakfast and my name is Captain Poop.
28 Jul 09		Bart Why you little... get off my account!
28 Jul 09		Marge, my head is stuck between the stair railings again. Marge? Marge!
28 Jul 09		Hey, I’m at the mall and I’ve lost Bart. If anyone finds him, please don’t tweet me.
29 Jul 09		@rainbowlite Thanks for writing me. We’re like pen pals except I left my pen in my pocket and sat down and stained the couch with ink.
29 Jul 09		Putting my pants on.
29 Jul 09		Hey, these aren’t my pants! It’s an eighty gallon blue trash bag.
29 Jul 09		But it fits pretty good...
29 Jul 09		Putting on my trash bag.
29 Jul 09		Relax, those nuclear meltdown sirens you’re hearing are just a drill. The radioactive gas escape alarms are real, though.
30 Jul 09		Check this out, I’m tweeting while driving! There’s Moe’s and there’s the Kwik-E-Mart and now I’m out of control and flying off a bri...
30 Jul 09		You know what’s great? Leaving your kids in the car and then forgetting where you parked it.
30 Jul 09		I’m a huge fan of that show “The Biggest Loser”, but Marge says I should call it by its other title, “The Glenn Beck Program.”
30 Jul 09		If a “ham”-burger is made of beef, then a club sandwich should be made of knives. Think about it.
30 Jul 09		Three things I found in my belly button: lint, a PB&J sandwich, and the skeleton of a squirrel. So cute!
31 Jul 09		I called in sick but really I'm at the dogtrack. Stupid boss -- he's too old to know about Twitter.
31 Jul 09		Humiliated nuclear safety technician seeks work. Contact H. Simpson, 742 Evergreen Terrace.
1 Aug 09		Check out http://tinyurl.com/A56HX89UT ! PS: there’s nothing there, but I wanted to look like the cool guys who put urls in their tweets.
1 Aug 09		If you’re at the bottom of this waterslide, attention! My bathing suit is coming down before me.
3 Aug 09		Marge, if you're reading Twitter, I'm sorry I forgot our anniversary. It's been five great years of marriage!
3 Aug 09		FIFTEEN years of marriage. Thanks Lisa.
4 Aug 09		Okay, here I am live-tweeting Lisa’s saxophone recital.
4 Aug 09		She’s playing the first note and <SNORE>.
4 Aug 09		That’s right, my cellphone has a feature that texts my snoring sounds.
5 Aug 09		To the cop chasing me: I know I’m speeding, but I’ve got a great excuse-- I’m in a hurry to get to a bar.
5 Aug 09		I know Americans are adopting kids from Africa, but are any Africans adopting American kids? ‘Cause I’ve got a boy available, cheap.
5 Aug 09		Babies, old people and astronauts all get to wear diapers. But nobody calls THAT a conspiracy.
6 Aug 09		Quick question-- I'm helping Bart with his homework. Is math the thing with the numbers, or the thing where the cow goes moo?
6 Aug 09		It's too bad Paula's leaving American Idol. I'm really gonna miss her saying mean things to people in her British accent...
6 Aug 09		...What? That's a different guy? Oh, then who cares.
7 Aug 09		To the dude who’s honking at me: I’m blocking the intersection because I’m having an NPR driveway moment, so blame the liberal media.
8 Aug 09		BOOM-BOOM-CHA, BOOM-BOOM-CHA, I WILL, I WILL ROCK YOU, BOOM-BOOM-CHA-- sorry, Marge, but "Guitar Heroes" don't "knock it off."
9 Aug 09		Hey everybody, let’s list our favorite fifteenth century Spanish Inquisitors. Mine: Torquemada.
9 Aug 09		Shopping for pants... At a maternity store
10 Aug 09		Trying to figure out a vanity license plate. What does "Utah" mean?
11 Aug 09		Business idea: hamburger with two hamburgers for buns and patty made of hamburgers. Possible special sauce -- liquid hamburger.
12 Aug 09		Anybody know a good restaurant in Rome? I'm going there in eighteen years when Maggie goes to college.
12 Aug 09		Help! I found half a pizza in the garbage but a raccoon is fighting me for it. Stupid raccoon! Ow! I'm sorry raccoon you're awesome.
13 Aug 09		To the boogeyman in my closet: why can’t you just be cool, man?
14 Aug 09		@xSarahDaniellex Thanks! I always appreciate feedback – especially when the back I’m being fed is from a cow or pig.
14 Aug 09		Man, was it hot today. I guess the “Dog Days of August” are here. How hot is that in Human Days?
14 Aug 09		Sitting on the throne right now. Good thing I brought my computer, so I can read the newspaper.
15 Aug 09		I just saw that hilarious movie about the Guinea Pig commandos. What was it called again? Right, “Platoon.”
15 Aug 09		Hey, did you watch the History Channel last night? Then you are lame.
16 Aug 09		I'm at church. Come on everyone, let's tweet: boring boring boring.
16 Aug 09		Marge says stop making fun of church with advanced internet technology.
17 Aug 09		Woo hoo! I'm standing on top of Mt. Everest. Um, is anyone else up there? I mean, here? No? Then woo hoo, I'm on top of Mt Everest!
19 Aug 09		Come on, adult web sites -- help me set the record for most fake followers on Twitter.
19 Aug 09		If life gives you lemons, make a cheese pizza.
21 Aug 09		If @snoopdogg married Snoopy the dog, that would be awesome, but our stupid prejudiced politicians say it's illegal. Fight the power!
22 Aug 09		If electricity is so smart how come it can't drive? I can drive, and I'm an idiot.
23 Aug 09		Woo! I'm at a U2 concert! They're playing their hit "U2 It Up Baby" and I... okay, I admit it, I'm home alone on the sofa. U2 rox!
23 Aug 09		Choking on a sandwich. Man, it's delicious
24 Aug 09		Watching tv. I’m really good at it.
24 Aug 09		Just getting my blood pressure checked - hey, it's the same as my weight – 320!
25 Aug 09		In my car. I heard a radio ad for a sale on TV's. I know that's ironic, I just don't know why
25 Aug 09		Shaving my back.
25 Aug 09		Wait, this isn't my back.
25 Aug 09		Who the hell's back is this?
26 Aug 09		Eating a taco salad. If it wasn't for the taco, this thing would suck!
26 Aug 09		Chasing a coffee truck trying to force it off the road or at least knock some bacon loose.
27 Aug 09		Eating. What the hell business is it of yours?
27 Aug 09		Eating. And no you can't have some.
28 Aug 09		Just kind of sleeping and watching TV. Oh, yeah, also at work.
29 Aug 09		I’m with Lenny and Carl and I’m calling them both Lenny. I’m doing it as an experiment and also because I forgot which one is really Lenny.
29 Aug 09		I can’t tweet right now. The policeman that pulled me over says I have to blow into some sort of machine.
30 Aug 09		I’m in my favorite chair with the TV turned up so loud I can’t hear my wife or kids. I call this paradise.
31 Aug 09		I’m using Flanders’ computer to write this. I’m not gonna pay for internet when it’s free next door, just like air-conditioning.
31 Aug 09		I was trying to grow a moustache but I gave up after a few minutes. Too boring.
2 Sep 09		Eating vegetables - they're not bad if you dip them in syrup. But what isn't?
2 Sep 09		Fighting the dog over some food that fell on the ground.
3 Sep 09		Just waiting for the fire department to come and cut me out of this phone booth.
4 Sep 09		At Moe’s about to tell him I will stop tweeting so he can put down the shotgun already.
5 Sep 09		Taking Marge out for dinner. Oh, I’ll have to write more later, we’re next at the drive-through speaker.
5 Sep 09		Had a great idea for a movie. A thriller that’s also really good.
5 Sep 09	Being attacked by a moose. Send help.
7 Sep 09	That “Funny Video” show is sick. Tonight they showed a plane crash and a shooting. What is America coming to... wait that was the news.
7 Sep 09	I just had a million dollar idea: make a million dollars.
8 Sep 09	Well, it’s Monday again, or, as I call it, pre-pre-humpday.
8 Sep 09	I’m all for tolerance, but if I hear one more jerk say “catsup”, I’m gonna go ape.
12 Sep 09	Eating a foot long hot dog.
12 Sep 09	Still eating it.
12 Sep 09	Still eating it. I’m about six inches in.
12 Sep 09	If you’re reading this, I pity you.
13 Sep 09	Have you seen the YouTube where the news lady farts and falls over? I haven’t.
14 Sep 09	Check out this awesome link! http://bit.ly/BPV3E
15 Sep 09	If you think Tur-duck-en is good, then you haven't lived until you've tried Tur-rib-nut-butter-burger-twizzler-Os.
16 Sep 09	If The Beatles were so great, then how come they never won on “America’s Got Talent”?
17 Sep 09	I think it's wrong that so many people get their news from Jon Stewart. I get mine from Rod Stewart. Breaking news: I think I'm sexy.
17 Sep 09	If anyone sees Marge, will you tell her I’m on a listening tour of the Middle East? That one’s worked before.
18 Sep 09	I’m bowling. Unless you’re Mr. Burns, in which case I am at work.
20 Sep 09	Beware of an internet scam about a Prince from Nigeria asking for your credit card number. The guy from Botswana is on the level.
21 Sep 09	Lisa! Stop playing that stupid saxophone! Oops, I tweeted instead of talked again.
23 Sep 09	Anyone know what "tweet" rhymes with? If you do tell me. I'm trying to write a rap song.
23 Sep 09	I’m just sitting in traffic watching my car sit on the median, on fire. Oh wait, I just figured it out – I am traffic. Cool!
24 Sep 09	I thought I had lost my cell phone but then I saw it on my x-ray. Whew! I was worried.
25 Sep 09	I heard there was another Homer Simpson tweeting out there. How do I know I’m not him?
26 Sep 09	Can I ask you guys a question? Where does your laptop computer go if you can’t find your lap?
26 Sep 09	I’m at a romantic restaurant with the most beautiful creature in the world -- a prime rib. You know, I should bring Marge here.
26 Sep 09	I'm tweeting like I'm a big star. I feel like Beyonce. Now, I’m gonna undress in front of a mirror and see what Beyonce looks like nude.
26 Sep 09	@RyanPom Hey, thanks for the kind words, unless yours weren’t kind, in which case: screw you, turkey!
26 Sep 09	@RyanPom Thanks for writing back. When Lisa helps me read what you wrote, I’ll get back to you.
26 Sep 09	There’s 86400 seconds in a day, but only one lunch. How is that fair?
28 Sep 09	Warning -- I just cut a big one. If you can read this tweet, you’re in range.
28 Sep 09	I don’t get all the praise for that show “Mad Men”. I watched a whole episode and didn’t see Alfred E. Neuman or Fonebone once!
30 Sep 09	I just ate a baked potato shaped like Alex Baldwin. I wonder if he tastes liked baked potato.
30 Sep 09	If anyone has tips on getting your head unwedged from staircase banister rails, I’m listening.
30 Sep 09	Sleep - the most fun you can have at a nuclear power plant safety workstation.

Trivia

In the episode "Ned 'N Edna's Blend", Homer's Twitter account is actually seen, showing the tweet "Are you supposed to eat those stickers on apples? I'm guessing yes." His avatar is very similar to the real one as well, only the background is red and not blue in the episode.

While the episode aired, HomerJSimpson posted a real tweet saying the message as the one seen in the episode.