Difference between revisions of "Duffless/Quotes"

Revision as of 14:32, June 22, 2010

Master bedroom. Marge is worried about Homer in light of his arrest and is reading literature on alcoholism. Homer is in bathroom.
Pamphlet: IS YOUR SPOUSE A SOUSE?
Marge: Homer, are you secretive about your drinking and/or do you have secret storage spaces for beer?
Homer: What was that?
Homer opens toilet tank and takes out a beer can he stored in there.
Marge: Do you need a beer to help you sleep at night?
Homer: That sounds like a good idea.
Marge: After drinking, do you have distorted images of yourself or the world around you?
Homer looks in mirror and sees himself as muscular. He uses his pectoral muscles to play along with music.
Homer: Dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum de dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum de dum de dum!
Homer enters master bedroom and goes to bed with Marge.
Marge: I want you to do a big favor for me. Effective tommorow I want you to not have any beer for one month.
Homer: You got it. No deer for a month.
Marge: Did you say beer or deer?
Homer{sheepish}: Deer.
Marge{reassuring}: Homie, please. I know you can do this.
Homer: OK Marge. I will do it for you.
Marge: Thank you Homer.
Marge turns out lights, then a *PSST* sound is heard in the dark, which sounds an awful lot like the tab of a beer can.
Marge: What was that?
Homer: Psst! I love you.

Springfield Isotopes game. A bunch of drunk men are in the audience, except for Homer, who is being a teetotaler to respect Marge's request.

Homer{talking to himself}: Without alcohol I never realized how boring this game actually is.

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