Difference between revisions of "Bart the General/Quotes"
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
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:'''[[w:Nelson Muntz|Nelson]]''': Naw, happens all the time, somebody else's blood splatters on me. ''[realizes his nose is bleeding]'' Hey, wait a minute... you're right! ''[to Bart]'' You made me bleed my own blood. | :'''[[w:Nelson Muntz|Nelson]]''': Naw, happens all the time, somebody else's blood splatters on me. ''[realizes his nose is bleeding]'' Hey, wait a minute... you're right! ''[to Bart]'' You made me bleed my own blood. | ||
| − | <hr width="50%" /> | + | <hr width="50%" />:''[The school bell rings.]'' |
| − | |||
| − | :''[The school bell rings.]'' | ||
:'''[[w:Seymour Skinner|Principal Skinner]]''': Uh oh, there's your bell. Come along, now, all of you. No dawdling, now. | :'''[[w:Seymour Skinner|Principal Skinner]]''': Uh oh, there's your bell. Come along, now, all of you. No dawdling, now. | ||
:'''Nelson''': ''[to Bart]'' I'll get you after school, man. | :'''Nelson''': ''[to Bart]'' I'll get you after school, man. | ||
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:'''Principal Skinner:''' Scoot, young Simpson. There's learning afoot! | :'''Principal Skinner:''' Scoot, young Simpson. There's learning afoot! | ||
| − | <hr width="50%" /> | + | <hr width="50%" />:'''[[w:Bart Simpson|Bart]]''': Nelson, it was all a mistake. This is how it happened, man. Listen up; you may get a kick out of it. My sister was baking cupcakes and... |
| − | |||
| − | :'''[[w:Bart Simpson|Bart]]''': Nelson, it was all a mistake. This is how it happened, man. Listen up; you may get a kick out of it. My sister was baking cupcakes and... | ||
:'''Nelson''': I'll see you at the flagpole at 3:15. | :'''Nelson''': I'll see you at the flagpole at 3:15. | ||
:'''Weasel #1''': And you better be prompt! | :'''Weasel #1''': And you better be prompt! | ||
:'''Weasel #2''': He has four other beatings scheduled this afternoon. | :'''Weasel #2''': He has four other beatings scheduled this afternoon. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Homer''': ''[to Bart] ''So, you had a little scuffle eh. Heh heh. Hope you won. | ||
| + | |||
| + | ''[Bart enters bathroom.]'' | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Bart''': ''[looks into mirror]'' I'm gonna miss you big guy. ''[Goes in to bathtub and groans]'' | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Homer''': [to Bart] Bart, your mother has the cool idea that you're ''[slows down and realises that Bart is in tears]'' upset about something. | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Bart''': [while in tears] Dad...can you help me...please. | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Homer''': Now come on, Bart, we don't want your mother to see you crying. Here, let me help you dry those tears. | ||
| + | |||
| + | ''[Homer uses hairdryer to dry Bart's tears]'' | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Homer''': So, whats the matter, son. | ||
| − | + | '''Bart''': I had a run in with a ''[hides behind bathtub edge]''.. bully. | |
| + | |||
| + | '''Marge''': A bully! | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Homer''': Oh come on, Marge, I don't bug you when you're helping Lisa. | ||
:'''[[w:Marge Simpson|Marge]]''': Well, Bart, I hope you're going straight to the principal about this! | :'''[[w:Marge Simpson|Marge]]''': Well, Bart, I hope you're going straight to the principal about this! | ||
| Line 30: | Line 47: | ||
:'''Homer''': The code of the schoolyard, Marge! The rules that teach a boy how to be a man! Let's see; don't tattle, always make fun of those different from you, never say anything unless you're sure everyone feel exactly the same way you do. | :'''Homer''': The code of the schoolyard, Marge! The rules that teach a boy how to be a man! Let's see; don't tattle, always make fun of those different from you, never say anything unless you're sure everyone feel exactly the same way you do. | ||
| − | <hr width="50%" /> | + | <hr width="50%" />:'''[[w:Abraham Simpson|Grampa]]''': ''[writing]'' I am disgusted with the way old people are depicted on television. We are not all vibrant, fun-loving sex maniacs. Many of us are bitter, resentful individuals, who remember the good old days, when entertainment was bland and inoffensive. |
| − | + | <hr width="50%" />:'''Bart''': [to Herman] What happened to your arm? | |
| − | |||
| − | <hr width="50%" /> | ||
| − | |||
| − | :'''Bart''': [to Herman] What happened to your arm? | ||
:'''Herman''': I can just say when your teacher tells you to get your arm out the bus window before the driver closes it, listen to her. | :'''Herman''': I can just say when your teacher tells you to get your arm out the bus window before the driver closes it, listen to her. | ||
| − | <hr width="50%" /> | + | <hr width="50%" />:'''Herman''': The key to Springfield has always been Elm Street. The Greeks knew it. The Carthaginians knew it. Now you know it. |
| − | |||
| − | :'''Herman''': The key to Springfield has always been Elm Street. The Greeks knew it. The Carthaginians knew it. Now you know it. | ||
| − | |||
| − | |||
| − | :'''Herman''': First you'll need a declaration of war. I've got one here, just have to change the name from "Otto von Bismarck" to "Bart Simpson" | + | <hr width="50%" />:'''Herman''': First you'll need a declaration of war. I've got one here, just have to change the name from "Otto von Bismarck" to "Bart Simpson" |
| − | <hr width="50%" /> | + | <hr width="50%" />:'''Herman''': Strategy. Hmm. How many men do you have? |
| − | |||
| − | :'''Herman''': Strategy. Hmm. How many men do you have? | ||
:'''Bart''': None. | :'''Bart''': None. | ||
:'''Herman''': You'll need more. | :'''Herman''': You'll need more. | ||
| − | <hr width="50%" /> | + | <hr width="50%" />:''[Bart and other neighborhood children march towards Nelson, singing]'' |
| − | |||
| − | :''[Bart and other neighborhood children march towards Nelson, singing]'' | ||
:'''Bart''': I got a B in arithmetic! | :'''Bart''': I got a B in arithmetic! | ||
:'''Children''': I got a B in arithmetic | :'''Children''': I got a B in arithmetic | ||
| Line 73: | Line 78: | ||
:'''Children''': Three, four! | :'''Children''': Three, four! | ||
| − | <hr width="50%" /> | + | <hr width="50%" />:'''Grampa''': Bart, you can push them out of a plane, you can march them off a cliff, you can send them off to die on some God-forsaken rock. But for some reason, you can't slap them. Now apologize to that boy immediately. |
| − | + | <hr width="50%" />:'''Herman''': When he leaves the Kwik-E-Mart, we start the saturation bombing. You got the water balloons? | |
| − | |||
| − | <hr width="50%" /> | ||
| − | |||
| − | :'''Herman''': When he leaves the Kwik-E-Mart, we start the saturation bombing. You got the water balloons? | ||
:'''Bart''': Two hundred rounds, sir. Is it okay if they say "Happy Birthday" on the side? | :'''Bart''': Two hundred rounds, sir. Is it okay if they say "Happy Birthday" on the side? | ||
:'''Herman''': Well, I'd rather they say "Death from Above," but I guess we're stuck. | :'''Herman''': Well, I'd rather they say "Death from Above," but I guess we're stuck. | ||
| − | <hr width="50%" /> | + | <hr width="50%" />:'''Grampa''': I thought I'd never hear the screams of pain or see the look of terror in a young man's eyes. Thank heaven for children. |
| − | + | <hr width="50%" />:'''Bart''': ''[to viewers]'' Contrary to what you've just seen, war is neither glamorous nor fun. There are no winners; only losers. There are no good wars, with the following exceptions: the American Revolution, World War II, and the Star Wars Trilogy. If you'd like to learn more about war, there's lots of books in your local library, many of them with cool gory pictures. | |
| − | |||
| − | <hr width="50%" /> | ||
| − | |||
| − | :'''Bart''': ''[to viewers]'' Contrary to what you've just seen, war is neither glamorous nor fun. There are no winners; only losers. There are no good wars, with the following exceptions: the American Revolution, World War II, and the Star Wars Trilogy. If you'd like to learn more about war, there's lots of books in your local library, many of them with cool gory pictures. | ||
{{Season 1 Q}} | {{Season 1 Q}} | ||
| − | |||
[[Category:Quotes]] | [[Category:Quotes]] | ||
Revision as of 09:52, April 20, 2010
- Weasel #1: Nelson, y-you're bleeding.
- Nelson: Naw, happens all the time, somebody else's blood splatters on me. [realizes his nose is bleeding] Hey, wait a minute... you're right! [to Bart] You made me bleed my own blood.
:[The school bell rings.]
- Principal Skinner: Uh oh, there's your bell. Come along, now, all of you. No dawdling, now.
- Nelson: [to Bart] I'll get you after school, man.
- Bart: But...
- Principal Skinner: Oh, no, no, no. He'll get you after school, son. Now hurry up, it's time for class.
- Bart: But...
- Principal Skinner: Scoot, young Simpson. There's learning afoot!
:Bart: Nelson, it was all a mistake. This is how it happened, man. Listen up; you may get a kick out of it. My sister was baking cupcakes and...
- Nelson: I'll see you at the flagpole at 3:15.
- Weasel #1: And you better be prompt!
- Weasel #2: He has four other beatings scheduled this afternoon.
Homer: [to Bart] So, you had a little scuffle eh. Heh heh. Hope you won.
[Bart enters bathroom.]
Bart: [looks into mirror] I'm gonna miss you big guy. [Goes in to bathtub and groans]
Homer: [to Bart] Bart, your mother has the cool idea that you're [slows down and realises that Bart is in tears] upset about something.
Bart: [while in tears] Dad...can you help me...please.
Homer: Now come on, Bart, we don't want your mother to see you crying. Here, let me help you dry those tears.
[Homer uses hairdryer to dry Bart's tears]
Homer: So, whats the matter, son.
Bart: I had a run in with a [hides behind bathtub edge].. bully.
Marge: A bully!
Homer: Oh come on, Marge, I don't bug you when you're helping Lisa.
- Marge: Well, Bart, I hope you're going straight to the principal about this!
- Bart: I guess I could do that.
- Homer: What? And violate the code of the schoolyard? I'd rather Bart die!
- Marge: What on earth are you talking about, Homer?
- Homer: The code of the schoolyard, Marge! The rules that teach a boy how to be a man! Let's see; don't tattle, always make fun of those different from you, never say anything unless you're sure everyone feel exactly the same way you do.
:Grampa: [writing] I am disgusted with the way old people are depicted on television. We are not all vibrant, fun-loving sex maniacs. Many of us are bitter, resentful individuals, who remember the good old days, when entertainment was bland and inoffensive.
:Bart: [to Herman] What happened to your arm?
- Herman: I can just say when your teacher tells you to get your arm out the bus window before the driver closes it, listen to her.
:Herman: The key to Springfield has always been Elm Street. The Greeks knew it. The Carthaginians knew it. Now you know it.
:Herman: First you'll need a declaration of war. I've got one here, just have to change the name from "Otto von Bismarck" to "Bart Simpson"
:Herman: Strategy. Hmm. How many men do you have?
- Bart: None.
- Herman: You'll need more.
:[Bart and other neighborhood children march towards Nelson, singing]
- Bart: I got a B in arithmetic!
- Children: I got a B in arithmetic
- Bart: Would-a got an A, but I was sick!
- Children: Would-a got an A, but I was sick
- Bart: In English class I did the best!
- Children: In English class I did the best
- Bart: Because I cheated on the test!
- Children: Because I cheated on the test
- Bart: We are happy, we are merry
- Children: We are happy, we are merry
- Bart: We got a rhyming dictionary
- Children: We got a rhyming dictionary
- Bart: Sound off!
- Children: One, two
- Bart: I can't hear you!
- Children: Three, four!
:Grampa: Bart, you can push them out of a plane, you can march them off a cliff, you can send them off to die on some God-forsaken rock. But for some reason, you can't slap them. Now apologize to that boy immediately.
:Herman: When he leaves the Kwik-E-Mart, we start the saturation bombing. You got the water balloons?
- Bart: Two hundred rounds, sir. Is it okay if they say "Happy Birthday" on the side?
- Herman: Well, I'd rather they say "Death from Above," but I guess we're stuck.
:Grampa: I thought I'd never hear the screams of pain or see the look of terror in a young man's eyes. Thank heaven for children.
:Bart: [to viewers] Contrary to what you've just seen, war is neither glamorous nor fun. There are no winners; only losers. There are no good wars, with the following exceptions: the American Revolution, World War II, and the Star Wars Trilogy. If you'd like to learn more about war, there's lots of books in your local library, many of them with cool gory pictures.
