Beauty School Hellcats/Quotes

Quotes

Cletus Spuckler: G'on an' take mah pitcher, missy DMV lady! I gots to get a license if'n I wants t' drive mah tractor to church on Sunday!

Selma Bouvier: Hold your water, Jethro. You can't rush art. Now, smile.

Brandine Spuckler: His lef' side gots a lot more teeth.

Cletus: Why, these here pitchers is too purty for ta put on a dumb ol' license! I...I feels so un-repulsive!

Brandine: Let's go home an' commence to some baby-makin' afore a bug gets stuck in yore beautiful hair, Cletus!

Manager: Selma, do you like working here?

Selma: Of course not. I hate it here. It's dehumanizing and spirit-crushing.

Manager: Good, good. I'll be frank, Selma. Up until recently, you've never shown an ounce of creativity, nor have you ever performed your work with the slightest enthusiasm. In short, you've been a perfect employee. So, why not take a nice, long vacation? Find a way to rid yourself of these..."creative impulses." Because if you still have them when you come back...I'm afraid you'll have to take a number.

Selma: Two to sign up for classes, please.

Secretary: Uh, we don't allow pets...

Selma: I have no sense of smell. This is my 'smelling-nose lizard,' Jub-Jub.

Patty Bouvier: It's like a seeing-eye dog that doesn't lick itself.

Sideshow Mel: Help! This woman is a menace to those with unusual follicle ornamentation!

Selma: That's it, Patty. I can't do anything right here. I'll fail for sure, and I'll never get to know the joy of having my own curling iron holster.

Patty: But your haircuts at the DMV were so creative! Think, what did you have at the DMV that you can't have here? Nicotine, tar and other toxins!!

Selma: No time to unwrap, just light the whole pack!

Marge: I'm so proud of you both! What next? Are you going to open a salon?

Selma: No, my dream came true already. It's back to the DMV for us! They probably have a line of customers out the door by now.

Patty: Oh yeah. We'd better hurry. Aheh. Heh.

Patty and Selma: Heh. Aheh, heh!