Editing Warrin' Priests: Part Two/Quotes

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{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Warrin' Priests: Part One|The Hateful Eight-Year-Olds}}

{{qf|{{ap|Fat Tony|second}}}} This is the first time I've come to church when it's not part of a big montage of my enemies being whacked.
{{qf|[[Louie]]}} Whoa! Hey! Whoa!
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{{qf|[[Julio]]}} Way to preach, bitch.
{{qf|[[Ned Flanders]]}} I'm gonna pretend I heard "amen".
{{qf|Julio}} Oh, relax, bitch.
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{{qf|[[Dr. Nick]]}} They don't teach you that at medical school.
{{qf|[[Dr. Hibbert]]}} Yes, they do.
{{qf|Dr. Nick}} Well, I learn from my mistakes. Malpractice makes malperfect.
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{{qf|Ned}} This church has gone from a place of warm, awkward silence into a gooey lovefest run by a narcissistic kum-bah-yo-yo, and I will not stand for it.
{{qf|[[Bode Wright]]}} You and I believe in the same God. I just believe that that God loves everyone. You don't agree with that, Ned?
{{qf|Ned}} Sir, we are not on a first-name basis.
{{qf|Bode Wright}} Mr. Flanders.
{{qf|Ned}} You may call me New Evangelical Deacon, or Ned for short.
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{{qf|[[Todd Flanders]]}} Daddy, we can't leave before the pastor says so.
{{qf|Ned}} Who told you that?
{{qf|[[Rod Flanders]]}} You did.
{{qf|Todd}} You call it "Homer Simpson-ing".
{{qf|Ned}} ''[groans]''
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} Yeah, don't Homer Simpson, you jerk.
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{{qf|[[Preacher Mac]]}} I would go on, but I am down to my last vocal cord. Even for a pastor, I've taken way too long to make a simple point.
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{{qf|[[Helen Lovejoy]]}} Timothy, I've never seen you like this. Maybe I'll do some defrocking, too.
{{qf|[[Reverend Lovejoy]]}} In the choo choo room?
{{qf|Helen}} Okay, mood's gone.
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{{qf|[[Luann Van Houten]]}} I know this is a weird thing to say in church, but we need proof.
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{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} The crisis of faith grows as support for im-preach-ment is now at 52%. Can you fight fire with firing? What should we do with this Judas priest? This has been Kent Brockman talking, saying nothing.
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{{qf|[[Moe Szyslak]]}} We've mobbed for less, people.
{{qf|[[Lenny Leonard]]}} Yeah, remember the guy with the two different-colored socks?
{{qf|[[Carl Carlson]]}} Ran his ass right out of town.
{{qf|Lenny}} Banish him!
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{{qf|Bode Wright}} Dear God, please let the Simpsons never end.
{{qf|Everyone}} Amen!
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{{qf|Lisa}} Why would you burn a Bible? Why couldn't you burn [[Bill O'Reilly]]'s books? There are so many.
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{{qf|[[Chief Wiggum]]}} Just when I understood that guy, when I believed again, when I believed in people, they took him away. I've lost my faith, Lou.
{{qf|[[Lou]]}} Come on, Chief, you got a beautiful wife ''[begins laughing]'' and kid... I can't... I'm sorry, I can't say that with a straight face.
{{qf|Chief Wiggum}} Well, you could try.
{{qf|Lou}} ''[still laughing]'' I am. I-I'm trying, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'll maybe try again. You got a beau... ''[laughs some more]'' ...tiful wife and kid.

{{Season 31|Q}}