Editing Kirk Van Houten

{{Character
|name = Kirk Van Houten
|image = [[File:Kirk Van Houten.png]]
|caption = Artwork of Kirk from ''[[The Simpsons: Tapped Out]]''
|gender = {{Male}}
|hair = Blue, balding
|age = 
|status = Alive
|job = Unemployed<br>'''Formerly:''' [[#Jobs|See previous jobs]]
|relatives = '''Son:''' [[Milhouse]]<br>'''Wife and cousin:''' [[Luann]]<br>'''Brother:''' [[Norbert Van Houten]]<br>'''Mother:''' [[Grandma Van Houten|Unnamed]]<br>'''Father:''' [[Grandpa Van Houten|Unnamed]]
|appearance = "[[Bart's Friend Falls in Love]]"
|voiced by = [[Hank Azaria]]
}}

'''Kirk Evelyn Van Houten'''<ref>"[[Hardly Kirk-ing]]"</ref> is the unemployed father of [[Milhouse]] and the re-married husband of [[Luann]].

== Biography ==
Kirk is one of two sons to Grandma Van Houten and Grandpa Van Houten. He has a brother, [[Norbert Van Houten]] and is confirmed to be of Dutch descent whilst fighting with his brother.<ref>"[[Little Orphan Millie]]"</ref>

=== Early life and marriage ===
Kirk graduated from [[Gudger College]]. Whilst he was here, he was a star lacrosse player for his college's team, close to becoming professional. Before he could sign the contract, he broke his wrist high fiving the college's mascot, [[Sir Gudge-A-Lot]], and he lost his chance to play professionally.<ref>"[[There Will Be Buds]]"</ref> He worked at his father-in-law's cracker factory, [[Southern Cracker]] (''the Dryyyyy Cracker''), in middle management, but when Luann left him, he was fired from the factory. According to Luann, Kirk was not a very good provider, and she had to borrow money from her sister and steal clothes from the church donation box.<ref name="divided">"[[A Milhouse Divided]]"</ref>

=== After divorce ===
After the divorce, Kirk was a stereotypical middle-aged male loser and deadbeat father, with extreme emotional depression due to his divorce.<ref name="divided"/> He had been seen with a few girlfriends since: {{ap|Starla|A Milhouse Divided}}, a chainsmoking alcoholic who stole Kirk's car. Kirk was also seen holding hands with [[Edna Krabappel]] on a police department cruise.<ref>"[[Dumbbell Indemnity]]"</ref> Kirk also went on a date with [[Miss Hoover]].<ref>"[[Mayored to the Mob]]"</ref> Luann got custody of Milhouse when they divorced, but Kirk had visiting rights. Much to his displeasure, Milhouse often addressed him as his "weekend dad". Kirk suffered from the need to cry all the time after his divorce, even in good times. He once cut his foot off to try and get his wife back.<ref>"[[Large Marge]]"</ref>

When he was falsely arrested for Bart's kidnap, Kirk had conjugal visits with [[Ruth Powers]], [[Agnes Skinner]], Miss Hoover, [[Lurleen Lumpkin]], [[Cookie Kwan]] and Starla.<ref name="Pranksta Rap">"[[Pranksta Rap]]"</ref>

=== Jobs ===
After being fired from the Southern Cracker, he struggled to hold down a job. He was once employed as an assistant to the guy who puts fliers under people's windshield wipers.<ref>"[[I Am Furious (Yellow)]]"</ref> Kirk also had a job standing on the curb holding a sign directing people to a condo development and worked as a scarecrow protecting a soy-bean crop, which resulted in his eye being gouged by a crow. Since being fired from the cracker company, Kirk seems to be unable to maintain a steady job. He atteneded Leavelle's Bodyguard Academy and he was also was a singer who sold his tapes from the trunk of his car. His song was titled "Can I Borrow A Feeling" and the album featured a picture of Kirk on the front in a robe, which he was using in an attempt to be a smoking jacket. He was also unemployed at some point, surviving on alimony payments and unemployment benefits.

=== Arrest ===
He was once arrest for kidnapping. When Bart went to a concert his parents banned him from, he hides at Kirk's apartment which leads to his arrest. Despite liking the attraction from the ladies outside the prison, he is released when [[Alcatraaz]], [[Lisa]], and [[Principal Skinner]] found out Bart was lying.<ref name="Pranksta Rap"/>

=== Remarriage to Luann ===
Kirk and Luann later remarried and while on honeymoon, were presumed dead. They were later found on a desert island when Milhouse's uncle [[Norbert Van Houten|Norbert]]'s balloon crashed.

== Non-canon ==
{{Noncanon}}
=== Treehouse of Horrors ===
Kirk died when Homer became [[Grim Reaper|Death]] and touched him at a baseball match, killing him.<ref>"[[Treehouse of Horror XIV]]"</ref>

=== The Simpsons: Tapped Out ===
==== Default ====
{{TranscludeSection|The Simpsons: Tapped Out characters/Van Houtens|Kirk}}

==== Acorn Kirk ====
{{TranscludeSection|The Simpsons: Tapped Out characters/Treehouse of Horror XXVI Adults|AcornKirk}}

== Trivia ==
*His arm was once cut off by wire that [[Snake]] planted to kill [[Homer]].<ref>"[[Realty Bites]]"</ref>

== Behind the Laughter ==
=== Foreign dubs ===
{{Dub voices
|czVoice=Milan Slepička
}}

== Appearances ==
{{Incomplete}}
{{Scroll|
*{{ep|Bart's Friend Falls in Love}}
*{{ep|Radioactive Man}}
*{{ep|Bart on the Road}}
*{{ep|22 Short Films About Springfield}}
*{{ep|A Milhouse Divided}}
*{{ep|Hurricane Neddy}}
*{{ep|The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons}}
*{{ep|Realty Bites}}
*{{ep|Natural Born Kissers}}
*{{ep|Homer vs. Dignity}}
*{{ep|Hungry, Hungry Homer}}
*{{ep|The Parent Rap}}
*{{ep|The Sweetest Apu}}
*{{ep|Tales from the Public Domain}}
*{{ep|The Bart of War}}
*{{ep|Milhouse Doesn't Live Here Anymore}}
*{{ep|Pranksta Rap}}
*{{mov}}
*{{ep|Little Orphan Millie}}
*{{ep|Wedding for Disaster}}
*{{ep|The Squirt and the Whale}}
*{{ep|Homer Scissorhands}}
*{{THOH|Treehouse of Horror XIV}}
*{{ep|Bart Stops to Smell the Roosevelts}}
*{{ep|A Tree Grows in Springfield}}
*{{ep|Hardly Kirk-ing}}
*{{ep|The Wreck of the Relationship}}
*{{ep|Super Franchise Me}}
*{{ep|Opposites A-Frack}}
*{{ep|Simpsorama}}
*{{ep|Covercraft}}
*{{ep|I Won't Be Home for Christmas}}
*{{ep|The Musk Who Fell to Earth}}
*{{ep|Walking Big & Tall}}
*{{ep|My Fare Lady}}
*{{ep|Dogtown}}
*{{ep|Heartbreak Hotel}}
*{{THOH|Treehouse of Horror XXIX}}
*{{ep|Baby You Can't Drive My Car}}
*{{ep|From Russia Without Love}}
*{{ep|Werking Mom}}
*{{ep|E My Sports}}
*{{ep|Bart vs. Itchy & Scratchy}}
*{{ep|Girl's in the Band}}
*{{ep|I'm Just a Girl Who Can't Say D'oh}}
*{{ep|Woo-hoo Dunnit?}}
*{{ep|Crystal Blue-Haired Persuasion}}
*{{spec|The Simpsons SU2C PSA}}
*{{ad|Piggy Bank}}
*{{bon|Bartology 101|(mentioned)}}
*{{bon|Now Museum, Now You Don't! (comic story)|pipe=yes|3=Now Museum, Now You Don't!}}
*{{bk|The Krusty Book|(mentioned)}}
*{{bk|The Book of Moe}}
*{{bk|The Marge Book}}
*{{game|The Simpsons: Tapped Out}}
*{{merch|Simpsons Mania! (Inkworks)|Simpsons Mania}}
}}

== References ==
{{Images|Kirk Van Houten}}
{{Reflist}}

{{Van Houten Family}}
{{Stonecutters}}
{{Tapped Out characters|vanhoutens=yes}}
{{Simpsons characters}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Van Houten, Kirk}}

[[Category:Adults]]
[[Category:Fathers]]
[[Category:Characters voiced by Hank Azaria]]
[[Category:Recurring characters]]
[[Category:Characters introduced in season 3]]