Editing Bring Your Parents to School Day/Quotes

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:''[It's "Bring Your Parents to School" day at [[Springfield Elementary]]. [[Bart]], [[Homer]], and other students and parents are gathered in [[Mrs. Krabappel]]'s classroom. [[Principal Skinner]] kicks off the day's events via an announcement over the intercom.]''
:'''Principal Skinner''': ''[on intercom]'' Welcome, everyone, to "Bring Your Parents to School" day.
:'''[[Agnes Skinner]]''': ''[also on intercom, interrupting]'' Seymour, sit up straight and enunciate your words. 
:'''Principal Skinner''': ''[apparently struggling with Agnes for control of the mike]'' Mother, I'm talking ... Let go, Mother.
:'''Agnes Skinner''': Now you're spitting all over the microphone!
:'''Principal Skinner''': ''[indignant]'' I am '''not''' spitting!
:''[Everyone in the classroom laughs, except Mrs. Krabappel, who looks annoyed.]''
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:''[As the school day gets underway at 8 a.m., [[Bart]] gives [[Homer]] the lowdown on how to behave in class.]''
:'''Bart''': Just don't make eye contact with the teacher. That's how I make it through the day without having to answer questions. And above all else, don't embarrass me!
:'''Homer''': No worries, boy. It'll be like shooting pork in a barrel.
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:''[At 9 a.m., [[Homer]] has interrupted a class discussion to go on a tirade about {{w|Gilligan's Island}}.]''
:'''Homer''': You'd want to get off that island too if some fat guy kept hitting you with his hat and calling you his "Little Buddy"?!
:''[Everyone in the classroom laughs, except ...]''
:'''[[Bart]]''': ''[embarrassed, envisioning Homer as an ape]'' Dad! We're talking about the War of 1812.
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:''[An hour later, [[Homer]] has again interrupted the discussion, this time to tell a fart joke.]''
:'''Homer''': ''[finishing his joke]'' ... and then I said, "Listen, [[Barney]], whoever smelt it, dealt it!" ''[laughing loudly]'' Wha, Ha, Ha, Ha!
:''[Unlike Homer's previous interruption, no one is laughing this time.]''
:'''[[Bart]]''': ''[pleading, mortified, envisioning Homer as a braying donkey]'' Homer, shut up!
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:''[It's now 11 a.m. and [[Homer]] needs a bathroom break, but he has a problem.]''
:'''Homer''': ''[struggling to get up from his desk]'' Help, Bart! Help! I'm stuck, and I have to go to the little boys' room!
:''[Now seeing Homer as an elephant, [[Bart]] puts his head in his hands and groans.]''
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:''[Lunchtime has come and gone for most of the school, but not for [[Homer]], even though it's now 1 p.m. With his back to the room, he bends over a bowl full of food scraps and eagerly devours them.]''
:'''Homer''': Can you believe it? ''[snarfs down a mouthful of scraps]'' The [[Lunchlady Doris|lunch lady]] was going to throw all these leftovers away! ''[snorts]'' What a sweet deal! ''[burps]''
:''['''Everyone''' in the room is disgusted with Homer, including [[Ned Flanders]], who holds up a cross in a warding-off gesture directed at Homer's posterior. [[Bart]] is not only disgusted but also even more embarrassed, as he now envisions Homer as a pig.]''
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:''[By 2 p.m., [[Homer]] has fallen asleep and is snoring loudly, annoying everyone in the room. [[Bart]], with his head down on his desk, now sees Homer as a hibernating bear.]''
:'''Bart''': Will this day '''never''' end?
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:''[The next day, [[Mrs. Krabappel]] returns some graded reports to the class. [[Bart]]'s has received a grade of C+.]''
:'''Mrs. Krabappel''': Bart, I must say I'm surprised how well you did on your report on "The Similarities between Man and Beast"!
:'''Bart''': ''[sheepishly]'' Let's just say I had some unexpected inspiration, Mrs. K.