Difference between revisions of "The PTA Disbands/Quotes"

Revision as of 15:35, August 27, 2012

Milhouse: This bus has seen better days.

Bart: Well, at least it's safer than the old bus.

Principal Skinner: Five dollars a child?! Last year it was free!

Ticket agent: Hm. New ownership. [left sign reads: "Diz-Nee HISTORICAL PARK – SORRY, BUT THERE'S PROFIT TO BE HAD."]

Principal Skinner: Beh – but we don't have that kind of money! In fact, no school could afford the –

[a double decker bus with "Shelbyville Elementary" arrives. Shelbyville's Principal Valiant departs bus]

Principal Valiant: Here is the admission, plus, er, something for you. See that they get a little extra education, would you?

Ticket agent: [bright] Yes sir, Principal Valiant!

Principal Skinner: He thinks he's so hot ever since he swept the Princi Awards. Those things are rigged.

Edna Krabappel: Well, Seymour, because of your penny-pinching, we're coming back from a field trip with the fewest children yet.

Principal Skinner: God bless the man who invented permission slips. [smooches slips]

Krabappel: I don't care what you say, I can taste the newspaper.

Principal Skinner: Posh! Shredded newspapers add much-needed roughage and essential inks. Besides, you didn't notice the old gym mats.

Lunchlady Doris: [thru a grinder] There's very little meat in these gym mats.

Bart: You, with the crane! Spin around real fast!

[crane operator shrugs, then does so. Its girder drops and a man screams terrifyingly]

Bart: Now you! Dump three tons of sand onto that Porta-Potty.

[a man enters the Porta-Potty as it gets covered. A construction foreman snatches the megaphone from Bart and runs off]

Foreman: [in Bart's voice] Hey! Can't you tell my voice from a ten-year-old kid's? Ugh! Ay carumba!

Bart: Milhouse, I found a hive of killer bees; you wanna go throw rocks at it?

Milhouse: Sorry, Bart, I'm deeply immersed in the Teapot Dome scandal.

Bart: Huh?

Milhouse: However, it might be feasible in a fortnight.

Bart: Wha?

Milhouse: I can play in two weeks.

Bart: Juh?

Dolph: All this free time – I never thought I'd get sick of Razor Fight II: The Slashening.

Kearney: I probably should stop. My doctor says I have the wrists of an 80-year-old.

Bart: Now for Operation Strike-Make-Go-Longer. Y'know, I heard Skinner say the teachers will crack any minute.

[the teachers spread the message to one another]

Teacher with glasses: Skinner says the teachers will crack any minute, purple monkey dishwasher.

Edna: Well, we'll show him! Especially for that purple monkey, dishwasher remark.

Homer: Lousy teachers, trying to palm off our kids on us!

Lisa: But, Dad, by striking, they're trying to effect the change in management so that they could be more happier and more productive.

Homer: Lisa! If you don't like your job, you don't strike! You just go in everyday and do it really half-assed. That's the American way!

Homer: Lisa, get in here!

Lisa: [enters, mirthful] Ah-ha-ha ...

Homer: In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics!

Man: Oh my God – the PTA has disbanded! A-ah-ah-AH! [jumps out a window]

Ned Flanders: No, no! The PTA has not disbanded.

Man: [jumps inside in reverse] Whhahh! [calmly sits down]

Bart: That's it – I can't take this any more, Milhouse, I've got to get the real teachers back.

Milhouse: Bart, you'll never get Krabappel and Skinner together again. They're like two positively charged ions.

Bart: Zuh?