Homie the Clown/Quotes
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- [Homer cannot get the image of Krusty's Klown Kollege out of his mind. He sees a clown that looks like Lenny dancing to circus music.]
- Lenny: Hey, Homer: the section you're supposed to be monitoring is on fire.
- Four clowns tumble into room to clown music.
- Homer: Clowns are funny.
- [Performing clowns transform into Carl, Charlie, and two other men who are aflame.]
- Carl and Charlie: AUGH! HELP US!
- [Homer has completed all his courses at Krusty's Klown Kollege and is dressing in a Krusty costume for his commencement.]
- Bart: Wow, I'm sorry I doubted you before, Dad.
- Lisa: If there had to be a bastardized version of Krusty, I'm glad it's you.
- Homer: Thanks, honey. Bank shot! [bounces seltzer off Bart's cheek and onto Lisa]
- Lisa: Wow! That's good aim, Dad.
- Homer: Well, it was my major.
- Krusty: OK, we'll start off with the baggy—wha? [sees Homer] Those are supposed to be baggy pants! Baggy!
- Homer: Ooh. I've never had a pair of pants that fit this well in my life.
- Krusty: OK, memorize these funny place names: Walla Walla. Keokuk. Cucamonga. Seattle --
- Homer: [laughs] Stop it, you're killing me! [laughs more] Seattle.
- Krusty: Welcome to the noble family of skilled Krustaceans. You will now go back to your home towns and do kids' parties, swap meets, and all the other piddling crap I wouldn't touch with a ten foot clown pole. Now, come and get your catskins—er, I mean, sheepskins.
- Luigi: You don't want to sit with the rest of this scum.
- [People get mad.]
- Luigi: I only consider you scum-a compared to Krusty.
- [People forgive him.]
- Luigi: Yeah, you see how you scum.
- [Homer gets abducted by Fat Tony due to his resemblance to Krusty.]
- Homer: But wait... you can't kill me for being Krusty the Klown. I'm not him... I'm Homer Simpson!
- Fat Tony: The same Homer Simpson who crashed his car through the wall of our club?
- Homer: Uh, actually, my name is Barney. Yeah, Barney Gumble.
- Legs: The same Barney Gumble who keeps taking picture of my sister?
- Homer: Uh, actually, my real name is, uh—think, Krusty, think! -- Joe Valachi!
- Louie: The same Joe Valachi who squealed to the Senate Committee about Organized Crime?
- Homer: Benedict Arnold!
- Legs: The same Benedict Arnold who plotted to surrender West Point to the hated British?
