Lisa the Vampire Croaker/Quotes
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- Bart: Okay, Lisa, I give up. Why did mom tell you to stay with me 'till I finished here?
- Lisa: Now that the sun is setting earliet, she says it's dangerous to walk home alone after dark!
- Groundskeeper Willie: Aye, 'tis true, Lassie... but not for the vampire croaker!
- Lisa: Groundskeeper Willie?
- Groundskeeper Willie: Aye, and I come with a grave message for one of you! 'This ancient Scottish lore that one wee bairn shall stab all the bloodsuckers through the heart and char 'em in the sun!
- Bart: 'Ah the ol' stake 'n' bake. I've always known that was my destiny! So long, Lis, I'm off to Transylvania!
- Lisa: Ow!
- Groundskeeper Willie: And that wee one is Lisa Simpson!
- Bart: I didn't see why Willie pikced you over me until it hit me he wanted a lame-o to lead the vampite hunt 'cause he's a bloodsucker himself! Scary, right? Betcha wanna quit now!
- Lisa: Harldy. Got any proof?
- Bart: Ever wonder why Willie doesn't shave? I'll bet he doesne't show up in a mirror!
- Lisa: We'll see. Here he comes!
- Lisa: I've never seen that building before!
- Groundskeeper Willie: 'Twas but recently unveiled, the same time as folkd started goin' pale and weak and sufferin' blood loss!
- Bart: That's all I need to hear! So long, miss take! Heah. "miss stake" how do I come up with 'em?
- Groundskeeper Willie: Nay, lad! Fool bou'll get killed Ya canna face the fiend without a plan! Now, Lassie, her' what we'll do... Lisa, wait!
- Lisa: Bart are you okay?
- Groundskeeper Willie: Nay, Lassie. Look at the boy.... the dead-eyed satare, the skin plae like it's drained o' blood. The vampire's have totten ta him!
- Bart: Yeah sure, and Lisa's gonna be cool someday. That was sacrasm, by the way.
- Lisa: Bart you're all right!
- Groundskeeper Willie: But... the pale skin! The stare!
- Bart: I was starting at the thing that made me look pale... ...it's the light from the new blood bank!
- Dr. Nick: Hi, everybody!
- Groundskeeper Willie, Bart and Lisa: Hi, Dr. Nick.
- Dr. Nick: Come to bleed for me? We've cleared the ants out of most of the ypos!
- Lisa: I should've know better there aren't any vampires goodbye, Willie.
- Groundskeeper Willie: Come back, Lassie! We'll find other things ta kill!
- Bart: Works for me! I bet Principal Skinner's a werewolf!