Donut Detectives/Quotes

Quotes

Homer: [SIGH.]

Bart: Hey, Homer. What's wrong? Did you light Moe's on fire again trying to grill hot dogs in the bathroom?

Homer: No. [SIGH.]

Marge: Hello, Homie. Dinner's almost ready. How was your day?

Homer: [SIGH.]

Marge: Hrmmm... if you're depressed, you have to talk bout it. You can't just stick your head in the refrigerator!

Homer: Fine! If you must know...

Marge: Oh my! I forget the police love their donuts, too! Chief Wiggum must be in a coma! Chief?

Chief Wiggum: No time to talk, Marge. A criminal genius has come to town, and I won't rest until he's caught.

Marge: But how are you still even awake?

Chief Wiggum: I've been mixing donut batter in my coffee for years, so I'm not going through withdrawal.

Herman Hermann: I understand your ladies are looking for some jeans. I got some right here you might like for a price.

Marge: That's all we needed to hear! You're under arrest for selling counterfeit jeans! Again!

Chief Wiggum: Wrong, partner. These jeans aren't fake... they're stolen! And we have several victims back at the station house just waiting to be reunited with their pants!

Chief Wiggum: Freeze, donut thief!

Homer: Huh? I'm not the donut thief! I was just dumping this nuclear waste for Mr. Burns!

Marge: That's even more illegal than stealing donuts!

Homer: It is?

Chief Wiggum: If you were just dumping the nuclear waste, then who dropped all these donuts?

Marge: You're going away for along time, Mr. Burns.

Mr. Burns: Not if my bribe has anything to say about it.

Chief Wiggum: Sorry! I almost forgot about the corruption. Heh! Heh!

Mr. Burns: But don't worry, I see now that donuts won't work for my nefarious needs.

Marge: Well, that's it. I quit. I can't be a part of something as dishonest as this police force.

Chief Wiggum: That's okay. We have no money to pay you.