Burnsie on Board/Quotes

Quotes

Mr. Burns: Ah, winter. What a joyous time of year. The smell of my overpriced firewood burning in every chimney, the warm fur of yet another extinct animal against my skin, and the generous feeling I get from charging only triple the going rate to light gaudy colored bulbs.

Waylon Smithers: Who says here's no Santa Claus, sir?

Mr. Burns: I can't help but to hearken back to my days as a spray, young buck when I frolicked fancy free in those snowy Springfield winters of yesteryear...

Mr. Burns: Well, Smithers, have you convinced the Olympic committee to hold the winter games in Springfield?

Waylon Smithers: My deepest apologies, sir, but they said that to bring the world together for a massive celebration of you wasn't a good enough reason. Although I wholeheartedly disagree.

Mr. Burns: My boy, you seem to have quite a knack for "shooting the drifters." Are you planning on participating in my little games?

Bart: No way, man. You're the creepy old guy who pays my dad slave wages.

Mr. Burns: And you're the brat who enjoys spraying snow at helpless vehicles!

Kent Brockman: And after three days, of intense competition, team Springfield is tailing Shelbyville by only ten points. Now it all comes down to the final event of the games... The Ultra-Extreme Mega-Downhill Snowboarding Competition! Competing for Springfield is our Bart Simpson! Many are calling him the next Krispy Kid Welch. Who is Krispy Kid Welch you may ask? Well, you'll have to ask the people who are calling him that. And competing for Shelbyville. It's little Larry "Li'l Larry" Newell!

Joe Quimby: I'm proud to, eh, award this gold medal to Springfield's captain... Monty Burns! Also with me is an official Olympic spokesman who's extended an offer to Mr. Burns to represent America on the snowboarding team at the next winter Olympic games!

Mr. Burns: I can't believe it! This is the dream I've had my whole life and it's finally come true! I'm so grateful!

Joe Quimby: Er, uh, the excitement doesn't stop there. You'll also get to be a semi-regular on the hilarious sketch show "Bellylaffers Incorporated", Mayor-for-a-day at Krustyland and receive a trendy sports drink endorsement contract worth over a million bucks!

Mr. Burns: A million bucks?! I'm insulted by that paltry offer! I can barely even have a decent meal on that kind of chump change! Do you know how much porpoise steaks cost in today's market? I demand more money!