A Trip to Simpsons Mountain/Quotes
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- Marge, Bart, Lisa & Homer: Aaaa-aaah! No TV!!! Christmas is ruined!
- Grampa: Ah, what are you all belly-aching about? Why, nertz, back in my day we didn't have TV!
- Bart: [GASP!]
- Lisa: Oh my gosh!
- Grampa: That's right! Ol' Satan hadn't got around to inventing it yet!
- Lisa: Imagine that! Christmas without television!
- Bart: You know, Grampa, this sounds awfully familiar. Didn't we see this on TV?
- Grampa: Great bald-headed Jupiter! I told you, this was before TV!
- Bart: Well, if it was before TV, how come your family had opening credits?
- Grampa: Will you shut up and let me finish...
- Bart: I could swear I saw this on TV!
- Grampa: Drat-the-cat, son! I keep telling you, this was before TV!
- Homer: Say, did you family have a talking horse?
- Lisa: Let Grampa tell his story!
- Marge: Go on, Grampa.
- Bart: Hold it, Grampa! These re-runs are bad enough, but do we have to have'em in black and white?!
- Homer: The boy's got a point there. Couldn't you at least colorize 'em like that Ted Fonda guy does?
- Lisa: That's Ted Turner, dad!
- Marge: Will all of you be quiet and let Grampa finish his story?
- Bart: Okay, but in color, man.
- Abraham Simpson, Sr.: Please, lord... I'm sorry that I'd wished I'd never been born. Clarence, help me! Get me back I don't care what happens to me. Only get me back to my wife and kids! I want to live again!
- Grampa: Daddy? Momma says she wants you home!
- Abraham Simpson, Sr.: Now get out of here, Bert, or I'll hit you again! Get out.. what? Abe boy? You know me, boy? You know who I am?!
- Grampa: Momma says I'm to fetch you back, daddy.
- Abraham Simpson, Sr.: Zza-zza's pedals! Zza-zza's... they're here, Bert! What you know about that! Merry Christmas! Woo-hoo!!! Merry Christmas, Simpsons mountain! Merry Christmas, you wonderful ol' mountain!
- Bart: Oh, gime a break, Grampa! I've seen that on TV a million times!!
- Marge, Lisa & Homer: Shut, up, Bart!