A Springfield Christmas Carol/Quotes
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- Roger Meyers, Jr.: Thanks for coming in, Abe. As you're the best writer to ever grace this miserable hack-house, I'm hoping you can help me out of a jam.
- Grampa: Do I know you?
- Roger Meyers: Ha, ha! Oh, how I missed the razor-sharp wit that scripted those prize-winning "Itchy and Scratchy" cartoons!
- Roger Meyers: Y'see, Abe, the network's gotten tired of running "The Happy Little Elves Save Christmas" thirty-five years in a row. They want a new holiday special, and I need you to come up with something fresh. Something brilliant. Something Simpson.
- C. Montgomery Scrooge: Bah, humbug! The only good thing about Christmas is that people stay home and turn up the heat.
- Ozmodiar: Why are you still here, D'oh-D'oh? It's Christmas Eve. Shouldn't you be home with the wife and house-apes?
- Homer Cratchit: Oh, great Ozmodiar! That mean Montgomery Scrooge is forcing us to work through the holidays! If only there was some way to rekindle the magic of Christmas in his stony cold heart.
- Smilin' Joe Fission: Howdy, Monty! This li'l green wiener givin' ya trouble?
- Ozmodiar: Back off, Glowy! I was here first!
- Smilin' Joe Fission: Ooh, them sounds like fightin' words, stranger!
