The Simpsons: Tapped Out Blargsgiving content update/Gameplay

You Don't Make Friends With (Fruit) Salad

After the user logs in on November 18th: Marge: Homie, could you run to the store to pick up a few things for Thanksgiving dinner tonight? Homer: But Marge, if I leave now, I won't know who wins the big game! Kent Brockman: And going into the fourth quarter, the Shelbyville Sharks lead the Springfield Atoms fifty-six to zero. I think it's safe to say we know who will win the big game. Marge: *sigh* I guess I'll just go pick up the ingredients for the fruit salad myself. Homer: Fruit salad? Never! The only fruit I'll be eating this Thanksgiving will come in canned form. Homer: Delectable cranberry sauce. The one time of year dessert comes with the main course instead of after. Marge: I didn't buy any cranberry sauce this year. I told you, we're having fruit salad. Homer: WHAT?! No Thanksgiving dinner is gonna get served without cranberry sauce on my watch! I'm heading to the store! Marge: I thought you said you couldn't leave because you were watching the game? Homer: That was before you threatened me with fruit salad. Also I don't really care about the game. I just didn't want to get off the couch. If the user has Marge: Task: Make Marge Grumble Under Her Breath (6s, Simpson House or Brown House) Task: Make Homer Hunt for Cranberry Sauce (6s, Springfield Grocery Store, CostMo, Try-N-Save, Quick & Fresh, Sconewall Bakery or Brown House) Homer: Okay. Don't panic. So what if they're sold out of cranberry sauce at Costmo, Try-N-Save, Quick & Fresh, Sconewall Bakery, Eatie-Gourmet's… Homer: Sprawl-Mart, Li'l Valu-Mart, Kwik-E-Mart, Speed-E-Mart, Newfangled Kwik-E-Mart, and Springfield Hunting Supplies? I'm sure I'll find some…somewhere. Homer: I guess I could try Swapper Jack's, but that's a health food store… Homer: But cranberries are in smoothies, which are healthy, and people drink smoothies after they exercise... Homer: And exercise burns calories, and burning is what you do with tires, and…wait, where was I? Quest reward: 100 and 10\r

Cranberry Calamity

Cranberry Calamity Pt. 1

After completing You Don't Make Friends With (Fruit) Salad: Homer: Of course I can't find a parking space! This place is the worst. And why is everyone so happy here? Don't these people know they're buying health food?! Homer: Focus, Homer. We've got a job to do. And by God we're gonna do it! Homer: Eegh. What is this stuff? Swapper O's? Swapper Jack's Okra Chips? Homer: Just my luck. Even this place doesn't have any cranberry sauce. *sigh* I guess I'll go tell the family Thanksgiving is cancelled this year. Blarg Alien: *psst* You there. Yeah, you in the tight-fitting mustard-stained shirt. Homer: Hey, at least I'm not ten feet tall with three legs. Homer: Oh my God, you're an alien! I always knew there was something fishy about Swapper Jack's! Blarg Alien: I've travelled back through time and space to experience a traditional Earth Thanksgiving. Blarg Alien: It's the holiday that will one day inspire Blargsgiving on our planet. Homer: Wait a minute…you speak English? Blarg Alien: No, I'm mind-melding into your brain. It's much more efficient. Now, did I hear you say you were looking for cranberry sauce? Homer: You have some?! Blarg Alien: Not here. Meet me out back in fifteen Earth minutes. Homer: Fifteen Earth minutes? How long is that in my time? Blarg Alien: Fifteen minutes. Homer: You could have just said that. Task: Collect Cranberry Sauce Cans [x155] If the user has Blarg Alien: Task: Make Blarg Alien Meet Homer (4h, Kwik-E-Mart, Springfield Grocery Store, CostMo, Try-N-Save, Quick & Fresh, Sconewall Bakery or Brown House) Task: Make Homer Go Around Back (4h, Kwik-E-Mart, Springfield Grocery Store, CostMo, Try-N-Save, Quick & Fresh, Sconewall Bakery or Brown House) Blarg Alien: I have a gift for you, Deluxe Earthling. This is a "special" cranberry sauce from my future world. Homer: Looks pretty good… But there's so little of it. Blarg Alien: Maybe now, but this sauce will replicate whenever it's fed bones. That means you can have as much cranberry sauce as you like. Blarg Alien: But heed this warning. NEVER feed it any bones from living creatures. Only bones that are long dead. Do you understand what I have told you? Homer: Gimme the sauce, gimme the sauce! Blarg Alien: I'll take that as a yes. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Cranberry Calamity Pt. 2

After completing Cranberry Calamity Pt. 1: Homer: So, definitely not enough cranberry sauce for Thanksgiving dinner. But that alien in the alley said I just need to feed it bones and it'll replicate. Homer: And when have I ever been known to ignore life advice acquired in an alley? Sideshow Mel: Greetings, Homer. I didn't know you were a patron of "the Swapper". Homer: Wow, look at the size of that bone in your hair! Hey, Mel, I'll give you fifty bucks for that thing. Sideshow Mel: I beg your pardon? This bone is one hundred percent authentic Albino Chupacabra. And I should say is worth a fair bit more than fifty dollars. Homer: Sixty. Sideshow Mel: Deal! You just paid for my entire "Swapping" excursion. Toodles! Homer: Okay, crazy alien sauce, time to do your stuff! Task: Collect Cranberry Sauce Cans [x115] Task: Make Homer Feed Mel's Bone to the Sauce (4h, Swapper Jack's or Brown House) Homer: Look at all this cranberry sauce! This'll feed everyone! Or at least me. Homer: But…what if my family eats all this delicious sauce… There'd be none for leftovers tomorrow. Homer: I know! I'll go dig up graves at Springfield Cemetery and use those bones! It's the only logical next step. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Cranberry Calamity Pt. 3

After completing Cranberry Calamity Pt. 2: Marge: Um, Homer? Why are you covered in grave dirt? And what's this giant bog of cranberry sauce doing in the garage? Homer: What, this? This has been here forever. You're really losin' it, Marge. Marge: Mmm-hmm. Well, go get cleaned up. My sisters just got here. Homer: Really? Hey Patty and Selma! Come out to the garage! I did something you'll want to belittle me for! Patty: Oh, this'll be good. C'mon, Selma. It sounds like Christmas came a little early this year. Homer: Come on in, ladies. I hope you've been drinking your milk. Always want to keep those bones strong, am I right? Task: Collect Cranberry Sauce Cans [x195] Task: Make Homer Feed Patty and Selma to the Sauce (4h, Simpson House or Brown House) If the user has Patty: Task: Make Patty Tell Homer He's Fat as She's Being Eaten (4h, Simpson House or Brown House) If the user has Selma: Task: Make Selma Tell Homer He's Useless as She's Being Eaten (4h, Simpson House or Brown House) Jelly Monster: *growling noises* Marge: I heard a scream! What happened? Ahhhh! What the heck is that? Jelly Monster: *raaaaawr* Homer: It looks like even the cranberry sauce gets irritated by your sisters! Run for it! Quest reward: 100 and 10

Cranberry Calamity Pt. 4

After completing Cranberry Calamity Pt. 3: Kent Brockman: We interrupt your regularly scheduled program for this breaking news. A tornado is currently ripping through Springfield! Kent Brockman: Wait, sorry. Our cue card guy has gotten the pre-written disaster cards mixed up. Just a minute while he gets it sorted. Kent Brockman: We interrupt your regularly scheduled program for this breaking news. Springfield is under attack by a giant jelly monster! Homer: That's the last time I mind-meld with a space alien. Lisa: Space alien?! Homer: Yeah, you know. The alien who gave me the living space cranberry sauce that turned into that jelly monster when I fed it your aunts? Lisa: Oh, THAT alien. Homer: In his defense, he DID say not to feed it the bones of the living. So that's on me. Lisa: Hmm. So this jelly monster feeds off the bones of the living… I'll need to call for some backup to figure out how to stop this thing from destroying the town. Homer: Okay but hurry up. Dinner is still at four. Task: Collect Cranberry Sauce Cans [x110] Task: Make Lisa Call Martin for Help (4h, Simpson House or Brown House) If the user has Martin: Task: Make Martin Come to the Rescue (4h, Simpson House or Brown House) Lisa: So we know the jelly monster grows whenever it's fed bones. Martin: My God. It's the perfect organism! Lisa: Uh, I guess? But how do we stop it? Martin: I believe I've deduced the best course of action. Follow me! Martin: *voluntarily sacrifices himself to the jelly monster* Lisa: What are you doing?! Martin: I giveth my body to become one with perfection! Jelly Monster: *eats Martin's bones* Lisa: Don't really see why he had to get naked first, but okay… Quest reward: 100 and 10

Cranberry Calamity Pt. 5

After completing Cranberry Calamity Pt. 4: Lisa: Well Dad, there's no stopping the jelly monster. It even erected a giant metal can for itself in the town square! Homer: Of all the ways I could die, I never thought it would be food that did me in. Lisa: Look, there's a spaceship landing! Blarg Alien: Relax, Earthlings. That is merely the spacetime vessel of my fellow Blargonians, here to retrieve me and the one you call "Jelly Monster." Blarg Alien: I was sent ahead to prepare "The Great Jelly." Though I can't take all the credit, as it was your father who turned it into its fully sentient form. Lisa: "The Great Jelly"? That thing just wrecked half the town and ate my aunts and my friend from school! Blarg Alien: Yes, in retrospect, I can see how that might be received as… not "great." I could do a simple re-boning on your aunts and friend if you like. Homer: Just the friend will be fine. Homer: Actually, wait, Lisa, which friend is it? Task: Collect Cranberry Sauce Cans [x185] If the user has Blarg Alien: Task: Make Blarg Alien Put Everyone's Bones Back (4h, Simpson House or Brown House) Task: Make Lisa Be Grossed Out by the Re-boning (4h, Simpson House or Brown House) Task: Make Homer Nearly Faint Watching the Re-boning (4h, Simpson House or Brown House) If the user has Martin: Task: Make Martin Lose "One With Perfection" Status (4h, Simpson House or Brown House) Blarg Alien: There we are. Re-boned and good as new. Martin: What happened? I'm back? Am I still one with perfection? Blarg Alien: Everything is back to the way it was. As my people say, no harm, no foul. Lisa: Other than the millions of dollars of property damage? Blarg Alien: Yes, specifically excluding that. Quest reward: 100 and 10

The Legend of the Jelly

After completing Cranberry Calamity Pt. 5: Lisa: So…why did you unleash your jelly monster on us? Blarg Alien: The Great Jelly is the key to peace across all of Blargonia... Blarg Alien: But in order for it to reach its true form and ensure continued peace, it required more human bones than we had laying around on our planet. Blarg Alien: Being a peaceful race, we could never have fed it humans ourselves lest we face the wrath of the Jelly God, Jam Master Jeff. Homer: Hey, you guys set me up! Blarg Alien: Apologies, it was necessary for the survival of Blargmanity. Here, have a bite of The Great Jelly. Homer: Woo hoo! *bites off a piece of the jelly monster.* Lisa: The Great Jelly won't mind being eaten? Blarg Alien: The Great Jelly's one purpose is to bring squishy cranberry goodness to the mouths of everyone it meets. Lisa: Except the people whose bones it eats. Blarg Alien: Look, we're crazy aliens who worship a cranberry monster. This was never going to make perfect sense. Task: Make Homer Take a Bite Out of Jelly Monster (4h, Humanity's Hope or Brown House) If the user has Jelly Monster: Task: Make Jelly Monster Be Happy (4h, Humanity's Hope or Brown House) Blarg Alien: Now, oh Great Jelly, aboard our ship awaits your throne. Blarg Alien: Which, funnily enough, we fashioned from the skulls of humans in the future after we wiped out their entire race, but they don't know that yet. Jelly Monster: *waves goodbye* Blarg Alien: We shall return to our time and planet, and we won't be back until we require more bones. Blarg Alien: *attempts to start ship* Blarg Alien: … Blarg Alien: It's not starting. We're out of antimatter. Did nobody fill up when you stopped on Andromeda? Jelly Monster: *facepalms* Quest reward: 200 and 20