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The Absent-Minded Protester is a Simpsons Comics story that appears in Simpsons Comics #37.

During a Veteran's Day party at the Springfield Retirement Castle, Grampa Simpson tells the tale of his days during the war, which end with the family losing interest in his story. Upset about being ignored, he goes to the Kwik-E-Mart to pick up some "Westphal's Auxiliator. When he finds that it is not in stock, he protests that he's written letters to the company that produces it, only to find that with the internet, no one writes letters anymore. Depressed, he walks outside to ponder how he'll get his message out. At that moment, he gets spray-tagged by Jimbo, giving him an idea.