Lisa's Substitute/Quotes
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
(Bart shows the whole classroom the tape for his project called, "How Kittens Are Born: The Ugly Truth")
- Bart: …and here comes Snowball II. This is the one we kept.
- All: EWW!!
- Bart: We were gonna keep the gray one, but the mother ate her.
- All: EWWWWW!!
- Martin: Mrs. Krabappel, he's traumatizing the children!
- Mrs. Krabappel: As usual, I agree with you, Martin. Bart, shut that off and take your seat immediately!
- Bart: Oh, look! This is really cool. When I hit reverse, I can make 'em go back in.
(The whole classroom screams)
- Mr. Bergstrom is leading the second grade in a rendition of "Home on the Range".
- Janey{laughing}: Lisa, look at this!
- Lisa unfurls Janey's note to see it is a caricature of Mr. Bergstrom singing.
- Caricature #1: THE SINGING DORK.
- Lisa is caught by Mr. Bergstrom.
- Mr. Bergstrom: Did you draw this?
- Lisa: No, of course not! Uh, although now I almost wish I did.
- Mr. Bergstrom: I like it. I was going to request if I may have it.
- Lisa: Oh sure!
- Lisa gives caricature to Mr. Bergstrom, who continues the song.
- Janey{laughing}: Lisa, look at this!
- Lisa unfurls Janey's note to see it is a caricature of herself singing.
- Caricature #2: THE SINGING DORKETTE.
- Lisa sees Miss Hoover has returned.
- Lisa: Where is Mr. Bergstrom?!
- Miss Hoover: I do not know, but I would sure like to have words with him!
- Miss Hoover: He didn't touch my lesson plan. What did he teach you?
- Lisa: That life is worth living.
- Miss Hoover: You see, class, my Lyme Disease turned out to be (Spells on blackboard) psychosomatic.
- Ralph: Does that mean you're crazy?
- Janey: No, that means she was faking it.
- Miss Hoover: No, actually, it was a little of both.
- Lisa: You, sir, are a baboon!
- Homer: (gasp) Me?
- Lisa: Yes, you! Baboon! Baboon! Baboon! Baboon!
- Homer: I don't think you realize what you're saying…
- Lisa: BABOON!
- Homer: Lisa, don't hold anything back, you can tell me. Are you crying 'cause you called daddy a baboon?
- Lisa: No!
- Homer: Nuts. I know you are sad because you lost a man you care about. I cannot relate because everyone I care about is under this roof. In a way I consider myself lucky. If you want think I am a baboon I can be one.
- Homer makes monkey noises and apes about Lisa's bedroom, which makes her laugh.
- Homer: So are we all well?
- Lisa: Yes, Dad.
- Bart's bedroom. He is angrily throwing a rubber ball against the wall.
- Bart{talking to himself}: Stupid Martin Prince!
- Homer enters bedroom.
- Homer: Bart, does the class president get paid?
- Bart: No.
- Homer: Does he have to do extra work?
- Bart: Yes.
- Homer: And is this Martin Prince going to get to do anything neat, like throw out the first ball at the World Series?
- Bart: Hell no!
- Homer: So let the baby have his bottle! That is what I always tell myself.
- Bart: Thanks, Dad.
