Bart Gets an "F"/Quotes
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- Bart awakens and realizes he has not studied for his test today
- Bart: Otto man, I have a test I am so not ready for! Could you help out your pal and crash the bus?
- Otto: Whoa! Sorry Bart dude, state law prohibits me from crashing the bus on purpose. But who knows, you may get lucky and we could have an accident!
- Bart{talking to himself}: No need to panic. Just pal up with some brain, sponge the answers, then I am back on Easy Street!
- Sherri: Look! It is Bart Simpson.
- Terri: I will bet he did not study for the test, and now he is trying to play up to us!
- Bart: Good morning girls!
- Sherri & Terri{sweetly in unison}: Good morning Bart!
- Bart: Who is up for a power cram session? I will go first. What was the name of the Pilgrims' ship?
- Sherri: The Spirit of Saint Louis.
- Bart: Where was their original destination?
- Terri: Sunny Acapulco.
- Bart: And why did they leave England?
- Sherri: Giant rats.
- Sherri & Terri snicker to themselves as Bart is writing in a notebook
- Bart: Cool, history is coming alive!
- School bus arrives at Springfield Elementary. Students exit bus
- Martin Prince: As a natural enemy, I do not know why I am doing this, but I feel obliged to tell you that the information you just received is grossly erroneous.
- Bart: Speak English, man!
- Martin: A blindfolded chimp with a pencil in his teeth stands a better chance at passing this test than you do!
- Bart{dejectedly}: Thanks for the pep talk, poindexter.
- Bart in class. He is stressed at contemplating the seriousness of this situation
- Doctor Pryor{echoing in Bart's mind}: I am afraid my recommendation is for Bart Simpson to repeat the fourth grade.
- Edna Krabappel: Class, the topic is world literature...
- Bart imagines the future, Edna Krabappel is now elderly
- Edna Krabappel{aged}: The topic is world literature. Let us start with Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson. Can anyone tell me the name of the pirate...Bart Simpson Senior?
- Bart is now a full-grown man
- Bart Simpson Senior: Ah lady, come on. My kid has the chicken pox, my wife has been nagging me for a new car and I need a root canal. So can you please cut me some slack and stop asking me for the name of that stupid pirate?
- Bart Simpson Junior (who bears an uncanny resemblance to his father at that age) is seated next to his father, and is presumably a more serious student
- Bart Simpson Junior{whispering}: Long John Silver, Dad!
- Edna Krabappel: I heard that, Bart Junior! I want to see both of you after class!
- Bart Sr & Bart Jr{in unison}: DOH!
- Bart: Woo hoo! A snow day! Last one out is a rotten egg!
- Bart is stopped by Lisa
- Lisa: I heard you praying last night. You asked God to make it so that He would close the school and He did. I do not know much about the existance of God, but I do know this; He is a force more powerful than Mom and Dad put together and you owe Him big.
- Bart in class. Students are finishing their history tests and submit them to the teacher.
- Martin: Later Mrs. K.
- Mrs. Krabappel: Martin? OK Bart, time is up. Hand over your test.
- Bart: Mrs. Krabappel, could you please grade this right now?
- Mrs. Krabappel: Very well, let me get out "Old Red".
- Mrs. Krabappel produces a red pen and begins marking up the test.
- Mrs. Krabappel: That's 59, Bart, another F.
- Bart: Oh, no.
- Mrs. Krabappel: Yes, I know, another year, oh it's gonna be hell.
- Bart starts crying
- Mrs. Krabappel: Bart, I thought you were used to failing.
- Bart: {still crying} No..you don't understand. I tried. I really tried.
- Mrs. Krabappel: Hey Bart, it is a high F.
- Bart: I cannot do anything right. I feel just like George Washington when he had no choice but to surrender Fort Neccessity to the French.
- Mrs. Krabappel: What did you say?!
- Bart: Fort Neccesity. George Washington lost that battle to the French in 1754.
- Mrs. Krabappel skims through a history textbook.
- Mrs. Krabappel: Why Bart, you showed applied knowledge! And given the obscurity of that battle it is only fair to award you one point. That raises your grade to a 60, or D-.
- Bart{overjoyed}: You mean I passed?
- Mrs. Krabappel: Barely.
- Template:Season 2 Q
