The Simpsons: Tapped Out Splash and Burn content update/Gameplay

Summertime Blues

Summertime Blues, Pt. 1

Auto starts Homer: It finally happened. Our team is good enough to fly across the country for. Lenny: What about last year when we won the championship? Homer: That was a fluke. Now that we're good again this season, it means we're actually good. Carl: Yeah, last year came out of nowhere. It was like when Leicester City won the Premier League in 2016. Lenny: We don't get your soccer references, Carl. Carl: Sorry. Intercom: We will begin the boarding process for Flight 196 to Boston shortly, starting with our Group One first-class passengers. Lenny: Come on Carl, Group One — that's us. Carl: Yeah, let's hit the fancy airport lounge before boarding starts! Homer: What?! YOU guys are Group One?! FIRST CLASS?! Lenny: Carl and I got upgraded. Homer: But they only do that for newlyweds on their honeymoons and flight attendants on their off days! Carl: Well, this time they did it 'cause we bought our tickets with points. Homer: Points? That's it? I've got tons of those on my driver's license. Lenny: No. Platinum Praetorian points. Carl: *holding out thick metal credit card* We just got our credit cards in the mail — you get crazy benefits when you book flights. Homer: But I want crazy benefits... Lenny: Can't without the points. Homer: Fine... Task: Make Travelers Bump Into a Sad, Lonely Homer [x3] Time: 6s Location: Springfield Airport, Terminal, The First Class Lounge or Brown House If the user has Lenny: Task: Make Lenny Drink Free Platinum Duff Time: 6s Location: Springfield Airport, Terminal, The First Class Lounge or Brown House If the user has Carl: Task: Make Carl Get a Neck Massage Time: 6s Location: Springfield Airport, Terminal, The First Class Lounge or Brown House Task: Make Homer Squeeze Into His Economy Middle Seat Time: 6s Location: Springfield Airport, Terminal, The First Class Lounge or Brown House Homer: That was the worst trip ever! Stuck in stupid economy, while you guys got to experience all the travel perks known to man. Carl: Look, Homer, I'll just send you my referral code, and you can apply for your own platinum card. That way you'll get a nice point bonus in time for your next trip. Lenny: Carl just wants you to do that so he can get even more points for himself. Use my code instead! Carl: No way! I brought up the referral code thing first! Homer: I don't care about which code — send me both! Because I'm going straight home and getting myself a fancy Praetorian card! Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

Summertime Blues, Pt. 2

Auto starts Lisa: Hi Dad, how was your trip? Homer: No time! Must apply for credit card! *typing* Computer: DENIED. Computer: STOP APPLYING. Computer: EVERY DENIAL IS FURTHER LOWERING YOUR CREDIT SCORE. Homer: I guess I have to just keep applying... *typing* Computer: APPROVED. Homer: Woohoo! Computer: JUST KIDDING — DENIED. ALSO, PLEASE STOP. Homer: How come Lenny and Carl can get approved for fancy cards, and I can't?! We have the same job, and we even go to the same bar! Lisa: Well, it does make some sense. Lenny and Carl don't have mortgages, they don't have kids, and they probably don't throw all their "past-due" bills in the garbage. Homer: Stupid kids! Ruining my financial health! Lisa: Dad, have you ever sat down and actually taken a look at your credit report? Homer: No, I pay "Credit Nirvana" $29.99 a month to take a look for me. Lisa: Well, after we see what's on there, maybe we can fix things. *typing* Task: Make Homer Give Lisa His Credit Nirvana Password Time: 6s Location: Simpson House Task: Make Lisa Log Into Homer's Credit Nirvana Account Time: 6s Location: Simpson House If the user has Bart: Task: Make Bart Laugh at Homer's Password Time: 6s Location: Simpson House Lisa: Voila! Here's your credit report, Dad. Homer: AAAAH! Lisa: Yeah, this is pretty unfixable. Bart: Why do you have a Banana Republic credit card? Homer: I don't know. All I wanted to do was walk in and buy a pair of pants! It's all I ever wanted... Lisa: Wait, it says on the report that your spouse has a Platinum Praetorian Card and you're listed as an "Authorized User"! Homer: What?! Marge, do we have a Platinum Praetorian Card?! Marge: Of course, it's how we're able to afford and book all of our "Simpsons Go To" vacations. Lisa: Our what? Marge: You know, all the trips we go on: Brazil, Australia, Costa Rica, England, Tokyo, Italy, France, Ireland... Homer: Woo-hoo! That means we must have millions of travel points by now! Homer: Kids, where do you want to go to next? Because we're all flying first-class and getting free neck massages at the airport lounge! Lisa: Ooh! We should go on an ecological tour of the Galápagos! Bart: Fiji! No — the Bahamas! No — whatever the island Fortnite is based on! Marge: Homer, I am not going to waste all of our points on first class tickets to some random island. I book our trips using a very specific and cost-effective system of well-timed deals and promos. Homer: Okay, then where does your *air quotes* "system" think we should go? Marge: *typing* Hmm, my system is only giving me two choices that we can currently afford... Homer: *praying* Please be somewhere awesome. Please be somewhere awesome... Marge: Our choices are...a Crypto Cruise around a floating server farm in the North Sea... Lisa: Sounds like a scam. Marge: Or...a three day stay at Mt. Splashmore Water Park & Resort. Bart and Lisa: Water park! Water park! Water park! Homer: But Mt. Splashmore is right outside Springfield — which means we wouldn't get to fly first-class or get free airport neck massages... Bart and Lisa: Water park! Water park! Water park! Homer: Fine, I'll get my swimsuit... Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

The Devil and the Deep Blue Slide

The Devil and the Deep Blue Slide Pt. 1

Auto starts Lisa: Oh man, I'm so excited for Mt. Splashmore! Bart: Me too! Especially since they bought the infamous Devil's Deluge water slide and made it twice as dangerous! Lisa: They did what with who now?! Bart: Lisa, The Devil's Deluge is only the most awesome and dangerous slide in the world. You even get to sign onto a class action lawsuit while you wait in line. Lisa: It can't be that dangerous... Bart: It was voted "America's Most Dangerous Water Slide" eight years in a row and recently earned Water Park America's "Deathtime Achievement Award". Lisa: *worried gulp* Marge: We're here! Swimsuit Homer: Okay, have a good time kids! If you get injured, just make sure someone's filming it for the future lawsuit. Task: Collect Pool Floaties [x175] Task: Make Bart Rush to the Devil's Deluge Time: 4h Location: Mt. Splashmore Slide, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House Task: Make Lisa Question the Water Quality Time: 4h Location: Mt. Splashmore Slide, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House Task: Make Homer Look for the Snack Bar Time: 4h Location: Fried Dough Stand, Hot Dog Cart, Hotdog Stand, Popcorn, Stand, Peanut Cart, Devil Donuts Cart, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House Bart: Come on, Lis, the line for the Devil's Deluge is only two hours long! Lisa: *super worried gulp* Paul Flart: Hold it right there, spikey hair kid. Bart: Me? Or my sister? Paul Flart: You. *points at sign* Lisa: *gasp* The dreaded "You must be THIS tall to go on this ride" sign! Bart: Have I been standing in front of that this whole time? Paul Flart: *points at Bart* You're too short to go on the Devil's Deluge. Bart: No, I'm tall enough! Look! *stretches neck* Paul Flart: Nope, short by an inch — and that's counting your hair points. Bart: Come on! Make an exception just this once! Please! Paul Flart: Nope! Bart: What's your problem, dude? I mean, like who died and made you the Paul Blart of this water park? Paul Flart: No one died. And the name isn't Blart, it's Flart. Paul Flart. Bart: You're a lame security guard, and your name is one letter off from the mall cop in that Kevin James movie?! Paul Flart: Hey! I didn't come up with the name, I was born with it! It was out of my hands! Bart: Okay, Flart. But you best believe I'm getting on that super deadly slide. Paul Flart: Don't even think about trying to sneak onto that slide, pal, because I got my eye on you. Paul Flart: Plus, you're too short and might die if you go down it, which would be most unfortunate... Bart: Well, you can EAT MY SWIMTRUNKS, Flart. Paul Flart: Stop saying my name like that! Bart: Whatever you say...FLART. Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

The Devil and the Deep Blue Slide Pt.

Auto starts Bart: Hey, Homer, I need your help distracting that water park cop weirdo. Swimsuit Homer: Why would I help you do anything? Bart: Please! All I need you to do is distract Flart so I can sneak onto the Devil's Deluge. Swimsuit Homer: His name is Flart?! Oh my God, what a dumb name! Okay, I'll help. Bart: That's all it took to convince you? Swimsuit Homer: *shrugs* Hey, I'm a reasonable guy. Bart: No, you're not. Swimsuit Homer: WHY YOU LITTLE! Bart: *getting choked* Case...in...point. Swimsuit Homer: *lets go* Touché. Task: Collect Pool Floaties [x175] Task: Make Homer Dance to Distract Time: 4h Location: Mt. Splashmore Slide, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House Task: Make Bart Try to Sneak Onto the Slide Time: 4h Location: Mt. Splashmore Slide, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House If the user has Paul Flart: Task: Make Paul Flart Block Bart Time: 4h Location: Mt. Splashmore Slide, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House Swimsuit Homer: Look at me, everyone! I'm dancin' in a swimsuit. *awkwardly dances* Bart: I told Homer to distract the cop, not the entire water park! Agnes: Shake it over here, baby! Momma's got a dollar bill ready to slip into those swim trunks. Swimsuit Homer: Uh, that's not really necessary… Agnes: Here's a twenty then. *grabs Skinner's wallet* Skinner: Mother — that was all of my cash. How am I supposed to pay for lunch now? Swimsuit Homer: *dancing* I hope my dancing doesn't distract anyone — especially any water park cops. Bart: Okay, I think the coast is clear for me to sneak onto the Devil's Deluge— Paul Flart: Not so fast! Bart: Flart?! But you were supposed to get distracted by the dancing fat guy over in the lazy river! Paul Flart: I knew you were going to try something like that. Which is precisely why I put the interns on drunk idiot duty. Paul Flart: Can you believe we're allowed to still have interns? These kids think they'll actually get college credit for this... Bart: *points* Whoa, is one of the interns doing a backflip off Mt. Splashmore Mountain? Paul Flart: *turns around* I don't see anyone jumping— Paul Flart: *turns back* Wait, where'd you go? Aw man, he tricked me! Bart: *does a backflip off Mt. Splashmore Mountain* Smell you later, Flart! Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

The Devil and the Deep Blue Slide Pt. 3

Auto starts Milhouse: *blowing air into floaties* Ah man, there's a hole in my floaty... Bart: Milhouse?! I didn't know you'd be in this update! Milhouse: I wasn't supposed to be. I just happened to be at the water park today! Bart: Well, I'm happy to see that you were included. And...since you're here, you've gotta help me sneak onto the Devil's Deluge. Milhouse: I don't know, Bart. I usually stick to the less dangerous rides like "The Lazy Puddle", or "The Ankle Soaker" or "The SPF 60 Adventure..." Bart: But those are rides for babies who wear water diapers! Milhouse: *covering himself up* Yeah, you're right. Only babies wear water diapers — I'd never wear a water diaper... Bart: Anyway, I was thinking we'd sneak onto the slide with the classic "two kids, one trench coat" trick. Milhouse: That is a classic! But also a weird choice for a water park... You know, because why would anybody wear a trench coat at a water park... Bart: ... Milhouse: Sorry, I know it's not really my role to start poking holes in your plan. It's a great plan...great plan. Bart: Just get on my shoulders and let's trick this water park Flart-wad! Task: Collect Pool Floaties [x125] Task: Make Bart Carry Milhouse Time: 4h Location: Mt. Splashmore Slide, Water Toads, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House If the user has Milhouse: Task: Make Milhouse Put On Their Disguise Time: 4h Location: Mt. Splashmore Slide, Water Toads, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House If the user has Paul Flart: Task: Make Paul Flart Be Suspicious Time: 4h Location: Mt. Splashmore Slide, Water Toads, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House Task: Make Lisa Test the Park Water Time: 4h Location: Water Toads, Mt. Splashmore Slide, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House Milhouse: I say, good sir, may I get on that slide? I believe it's called the Devil's Deluge. Paul Flart: Are you sure you don't want to take off your coat before going down the slide? Milhouse: Uh, no, I need my coat because I'm from London and all Londoners wear coats! Paul Flart: Are you okay? You're shaking all of a sudden, and kind of yelling at me for no reason. Milhouse: I'm not yelling — you're YELLING. *trips and falls over* Paul Flart: I knew you weren't a Londoner! You don't even have a British accent! Bart: Great detective work, Flart. Paul Flart: You two dummies are coming with me! Bart: Instead of walking down all these stairs, wouldn't it be faster if we took the slide down? Paul Flart: Hmm, that would be faster... Paul Flart: Wait, you're trying to trick me again. I'm not falling for your— Bart: *grabs inner tube* Milhouse, come on! Bart: Milhouse?! Milhouse: I can't! I'm too afraid to go down that slide! Paul Flart: *grabbing Milhouse and Bart* That's it! I'm sending you two to the only place you can't escape in this water park! Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

The Devil and the Deep Blue Slide Pt. 4

Auto starts Bart: I can't believe we ended up in the water park's "Drunk Tank Dunk Tank". Milhouse: Yeah, if you're going to put us in water park prison, it should at least match our crime. We're kids — and this place is filled with weird, smelly drunk people. Barney: *belches* I'm not drunk. I just accidentally drank one of those floating chlorine thingies thinking it was a piña colada! Sea Captain: Nor am I imbibed with the sirens' spirits! All I've got is a brief spell of scurvy and some light indigestion on account of my IBS! Bart: Yeah, yeah, everyone in prison says they're innocent... Kearney: *walking up* Whoa, "Drunk Tank Dunk Tank" — "dunk a drunk and win a prize". *throws ball* Sea Captain: *falling into dunk tank* Arrrr, me wooden peg leg is not waterproof! Jimbo: My turn! *throws ball* Got him! Barney: *falling into tank* How is this legal?! *belches* Milhouse: Bart, we need to get out of here before we start getting dunked! My floaty is out of air! I'll drown! Bart: Relax, the moment Flart gets distracted, we're making a run for it. Milhouse: Look, Lisa's walking up to Flart! Lisa: Mr. Flart, you have to close the water park! We have an emergency situation. Paul Flart: An emergency?! The kind where I need to run away and hide or the kind I can safely ignore? Lisa: Can you safely ignore what may be the dawn of one of the greatest ecological disasters in human history? Paul Flart: I'm guessing...no? Lisa: Look at the results from these water tests I conducted! Bart: Come on! Now's our chance. Milhouse: But I wanted to see the water test results. Bart: We will — after the quest objectives are completed. Task: Collect Pool Floaties [x125] Task: Make Lisa Expose Tainted Water Time: 4h Location: Mt. Splashmore Slide, Wavewalker, Water Toads, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House If the user has Paul Flart: Task: Make Paul Flart Make Excuses for Tainted Water Time: 4h Location: Mt. Splashmore Slide, Wavewalker, Water Toads, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House Task: Make Bart Sneak Out of Water Park Jail Time: 4h Location: Mt. Splashmore Slide, Wavewalker, Water Toads, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House If the user has Milhouse: Task: Make Milhouse Follow Bart Out of Jail Time: 4h Location: Mt. Splashmore Slide, Wavewalker, Water Toads, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House Paul Flart: We're aware that bacteria is a thing, little girl. That's why we use whatever that chemical is that makes your eyes burn to keep everyone healthy. Lisa: Look, I'm not talking about normal water park bacteria. The water quality here is so poor that you've managed to breed chlorine-resistant bacteria! Paul Flart: Okay. And that's bad? Lisa: It's an emergency! Paul Flart: Okay, okay! Let me take the inmates out of the "bacteria" filled dunk tank, and then I'll call the top brass to get this sorted out. Paul Flart: Wait, where'd they all go? Sea Captain: Those two criminal cadets exited starboard and are headed north at fifteen knots. Paul Flart: I know exactly where they're going... Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

The Devil and the Deep Blue Slide Pt. 5

Auto starts Bart: Devil's Deluge, here we come! Milhouse: But Bart, what about the attendant? Squeaky Voice Attendant: *snoring* Bart: You were saying? Milhouse: Uh, look, Bart, you go ahead. That slide looks cool and all, but...but it's not safe. Bart: Of course it's not safe, you big baby. That's the whole point! Paul Flart: Hey! *pant* Come…back…here! *gasp* Bart: Milhouse, it's now or never! Milhouse: I choose never. Bart: If I die, tell everyone I died doing what I love most! *goes down slide* Task: Collect Pool Floaties [x205] Task: Make Bart Dive Onto the Slide Time: 4h Location: Devil's Deluge, Mt. Splashmore Slide, Wavewalker, Water Toads, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House If the user has Paul Flart: Task: Make Paul Flart Dive After Bart Time: 4h Location: Devil's Deluge, Mt. Splashmore Slide, Wavewalker, Water Toads, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House Paul Flart: Gotcha! Bart: Hey man, let me go! *shoves Flart* Paul Flart: Careful, kid, this deadly slide isn't that stable — WHOA! *slide starts to collapse* Bart: I'm falling! Paul Flart: I got ya, kid! *grabs Bart and helps him to hold on* We just gotta hold until the fire department gets here. Bart: Okay! We can do this together. Wait, what's wrong? Paul Flart: Curse my sweaty palms! *slips and falls, grabs Bart's ankles on the way down* Bart: AAARH! Can't…hold us…both up! *slips and falls* Paul Flart: We're all gonna die! Lisa: They're going to...land in the Lazy Puddle kiddie pool? Paul Flart: Oh God, kid, you landed on my collarbone. And my spine. And my bad knee. *groans* Bart: We…we made it! Swimsuit Homer: That was great! I didn't know there was going to be a stunt show. Marge: That wasn't a stunt show, that was our son! Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP

Summer Splashin', Had Me a Blast

Auto starts Bart: That was amazing the way you almost killed me then accidentally saved my life! Paul Flart: And it was amazing the way you held us up as long as you could. But also you're under arrest again. Bart: What? After all we went through together? Paul Flart: Sorry, kid, but for a water park cop, water park law always comes first. Paul Flart: Wait, hold on. Look! Bart: What? Oh, the "You must be this tall…" sign. Gonna rub it in my face again? Paul Flart: No, you're somehow taller? Bart: You're right! I am! Paul Flart: I guess when I was holding onto your ankles, I must have stretched you out. Bart: *gasp* So I'm tall enough to ride the slide now?! Paul Flart: I mean, you would be if the Devil's Deluge wasn't just completely destroyed when we just slid down it. Bart: Oh yeah...forgot. If the user has Paul Flart: Task: Make Paul Flart Let Bart Go Time: 4h Location: Devil's Deluge, Mt. Splashmore Slide, Wavewalker, Water Toads, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House Task: Make Bart Steal Paul Flart's Scooter Time: 4h Location: Devil's Deluge, Mt. Splashmore Slide, Wavewalker, Water Toads, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House Lisa: So, Bart? You just had to steal Paul Flart's scooter... Bart: I didn't "have to" do anything. But yes, I've acquired a certain water park cop's official cop scooter. Bart: Now I can ride it around our neighborhood for the rest of the summer. Homer: Bart, take your scooter and get me a six-pack of Duff. Bart: But I'm not old enough. Homer: This kid and all of his excuses! Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP