Little Orphan Bart/Quotes
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- Kent Brockman: Our top story tonight, it's officially the slowest news day in history! In our only other story, the tory factory that makes Radioactive Man action figures is offering a free tour...
- Bart: Yes!
- Kent Brockman: ...for the local orphanage!
- Bart: D'oh! Those lucky orphans!
- Lisa: Yeah, that's quite a stroke of good fortune they're all having. But what are you gonna do?
- Mr. Burns: Hello, new orphan!
- Bart: Aaaah! Mr. Burns? What are you doing here?
- Mr. Burns: Oh, I own this orphanage! You see, young man, like many here, I too lost my parents to tragic accidents that I've legally never been connected to. It makes me feel good to give to those less fortunate.
- Marge: Violet, you don't have to sleep on the floor. It's okay to use Bart's bed!
- Poor Violet: Thank you, but no, ma'am! I tried it, but [COUGH] I've never slept on anything softer than a hard wooden board before. It make my back all twisty [COUGH]
- Marge: Ewwww! You poor thing. Well, breakfast is ready when you feel straight enough to eat.
- Marge: Have a good day at school, Lisa, and try to help Violet fit in!
- Lisa: I've spent the last three years trying to get me to fit in.
- Marge: Just try, Lisa. She's a nice little girl who really could use some friends.
- Marge: Grampa? What are you doing here?
- Grampa: I was looking for the bathroom at the home and got lost. Hey there, Lisa!
- Poor Violet: [COUGH!]
- Grampa: Wait a minute! I recognize that cough!
- Marge: You do?
- Grampa: It comes from years of neglect! Most of the folks at the home have got it!
- Poor Violet: Is there [COUGH] a cure?
- Grampa: Yep! You need attention, and plenty of it! Quick, tell me a long rambling story about how bad things were for you! WE need to get it out of your system! Stat!
