Two Dozen and One Greyhounds (Medley)

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File:SeeMyVest.jpg

"Kill two for matching clogs."

"See My Vest" is a song that appeared in "Two Dozen and One Greyhounds". It is a song sung by Mr. Burns, and describes his plan to turn the puppies into a greyhound fur tuxedo. It also notes what he does with all his animals: turning them into a variety of clothes. The music was written by Alf Clausen and the lyrics by Mike Scully. It is the twenty-second track on the album Songs in the Key of Springfield and was also featured in the episode All Singing, All Dancing.

a) The Pick of the Litter (spoken)

Mr. Burns:

You stay with me. You're the pick of the litter.

Lisa:

Maybe we were wrong about Burns on this one.

b) See My Vest (sung)

Smithers:

Are you sure you wanna go through with this, sir? You do have a very full wardrobe as it is.

Mr. Burns:

Yes, but not completely full. For you see...

Some men hunt for sport,

Others hunt for food,

The only thing I'm hunting for,

Is an outfit that looks good...

See my vest, see my vest,

Made from real gorilla chest,

Feel this sweater, there's no better

Than authentic Irish setter.

See this hat, 'twas my cat,

My evening wear - vampire bat,

These white slippers are albino

African endangered rhino.

Grizzly bear underwear,

Turtles' necks, I've got my share,

Beret of poodle, on my noodle

It shall rest.

Try my red robin suit,

It comes one breast or two,

See my vest, see my vest,

See my vest.

Like my loafers? Former gophers -

It was that or skin my chauffeurs,

But a greyhound fur tuxedo

Would be best,

So let's prepare these dogs,

Maid:

Kill two for matching clogs.

Mr. Burns:

See my vest, see my vest,

Oh please, won't you see my vest!

I really like the vest.

Smithers:

I gathered you.

Lisa:

(gasps) He's gonna make a tuxedo out of our puppies!

(Bart hums the song Mr. Burns just sang)

Lisa:

BART!

Bart:

Sorry. You gotta admit, it's catchy.

Trivia

• The song is a parody of "Be Our Guest" from Disney's Beauty and the Beast.