Trash of the Titans/Quotes

Quotes

Dad{talking to himself}: Lousy, rotten stinking...hate world! Eww...garbage water!

Garbage truck drives by Simpson residence. Dad chases after it.

Dad: Truck, stop! I have garbage! Hey, thanks for nothing you trash-eating stinkbags!

Truck reverses itself towards Dad.

Garbageman #1: What did you say?

Dad{nervous}: Uh, gee, I do not know...there are so many people...who knows who said what?

Garbageman #2: You called us trash-eating stinkbags.

Garbageman #1: Did you not learn anything from Love Day?

Dad: That was yesterday, morons.

Simpson residence. Dad enters kitchen with his pyjamas stuffed with garbage and wearing an orange rind for a hat.

Dad: Good news everyone! I got in a fight with the garbagemen and as a result they are cutting us off from city santitation services!

Mom: Oh no! That means the garbage will pile up and we will live in a dump

Dad: I would rather live in a dump than in a world full of snooty garbagemen!

Girl: Dad, is this one of those situations which could be solved with a simple apology?

Dad: Homer J. Simpson never apologizes! I am sorry, but that is just the way I am.

:Mom: Homer, that crazy lady who lives in our trash pile attacked me again.

Dad: That's not how she tells it.

:Garbage is piling up on the front lawn of Simpson residence.

Man{talking to himself}: That is it Ned, take it easy, do not breathe in any fumes.

Garbage falls on Ned.

Man: Homer!

Homer in on second floor.

Dad: Sorry Ned, I did not see you down there!

Homer{to the boy}: Woo hoo! Got him!

Man: Homer, that is what I came to speak with you about. I do not want to be a Fussy Freddy, but Maude's parents are coming to visit me next week, and my in-laws are very touchy about odors.

Dad: Well! Then you had better seal all your windows before the sun hits Diaper Hill!

Dad motions to a pile of the baby's used diapers. The thug boy is seen atop the pile.

Thug Boy: Look at me Daddy, I am king of the mountain!

Man: Rod! Get down from there!

Bono: What the!..Bloody Hell!

Farmer (U2 Manager): Who are you? This is off limits.

Dad (with Irish Accent): Potato Man.

Farmer: Where the bloody hell have you been? Get in there!

(Dad has taken over the video wall. The shots of the U2 bandmembers disappear and are replaced by Dad)

Dad: Hey there everyone. I know you like your music but that you are also concerned about the race for sanitation commissioner. I am here to give you the 911!

Homer walks out on stage and is booed

Bono: Hold on people, he is talking about waste management! And that issue effects the whole damn planet!

Other members of U2 roll their eyes as Bono is going off on a political rant

Larry: 'Ere we go again! Want to duck out to Moe's for a pint?

The Edge: May I come?

Larry: Let me think about it....No.

The Edge: Wankers.

Dad wins the election. He gets the news looking at a newspaper dispenser

Newspaper headline: SIMPSON WINS IN LANDSLIDE. Says "crazy promises" key to victory.

Dad: Woo hoo!

Lisa: Dad, are you not going to buy it?

Dad: 50¢? Not likely.

An angry man comes into Dad's office

Thug Mayor: Simpson, you idiot! You spent the year's budget in a month! Your department is broke!

Dad: Wait! I do believe I have the perfect plan!

Thug Mayor: You had better, because those garbagemen will not work for free!

Dad: D'OH!

Dad: Oh ho! Ray Patterson was right, Marge. I am crashing and burning. Crashing and burning!

Mom reviews expense reports.

Mom: How on Earth could you have spent $4.6 million in one month?

Dad: They let me sign checks with a stamp, Marge. A stamp!

Girl: You know, Dad, there is a lesson to be learned in all of this. Lots of big cities have garbage problems and...

Dad: Woo hoo! That is it!

Without warning, Dad runs out of Simpson residence.

Mom: I hate it when he does that.

Sanitation Commissioner's office. Dad is carrying a briefcase and is greeted by several angry garbagemen.

Garbageman #1: Where are our paychecks, you bum?

Head Garbageman: My men ain't working one more minute until we get paid!

Dad unhinges briefcase to show it is full of money.

Dad: Would cash do?

Head Garbageman: Would it ever!

The thug mayor bursts into Dad's office.

Thug Mayor: Did, uh, I just hear a briefcase opening?

Dad: I bet you are all wondering where I got the money?

Boy: Selling drugs?

Girl: Drugs?

Mom: I am going to have to go with drugs, too.

Dad: Close, but you are way off.

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