Bart's Dog Gets an "F"/Quotes

Mrs. Winthrop's office. Bart enters with a leashed Santa's Little Helper

Bart: Mrs. Winthrop, may I have a minute of your time?

Mrs. Winthrop motions for Bart to have a seat

Bart: Look, I was thinking, since you are paid whether Santa's Little Helper fails or passes, why not just pass my dog anyway?

Emily Winthrop: Oh I get it. Lick a stamp on it, thank you very much, next please!

Bart: Yup!

Emily Winthrop{sighing}: Heavens to Murgatroyd! Bart, perhaps I cling to the old ways like a well-chewed shoe while the traditions I was weaned on are either neutered or put to sleep one by one. {stren tone} But my time has not yet passed! The world does not need another college graduate who does not know how to sit!

Santa's Little Helper fails to respond to command

Emily Winthrop: Pull the chain.

Bart: What?

Emily Winthrop: Correct the dog.

Bart: I do not want to strangle my dog.

Emily Winthrop: PULL THE BLOODY CHAIN, BOY!

An intimidated Bart pulls Santa's Little Helper's leash, who yelps then collapses on the floor

Bart: I am sorry, boy. It is not your fault you are so dumb.