| Your Horrorscope
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| Comic Information
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Your Horrorscope is a horoscope that appears in Simpsons Comics #666.
Horrorscope
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Name
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Horrorscope
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Aquaman
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Bringer of joj. Spirits are lifted when you are near. Warm and compassionate, other people often bring their christmas gifts to you.
This week: Mars and several dozen other chocolate bars will enter your house. Be sure to spread your own brand of happiness on their breads. It will prove to be very rewarding.
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Penis & Dicks
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You posses a high level of boners, although that may be difficult for other to perceive. Your relationship can be a bit of an mama luigi at times.
This week: The moon is a little wobbly in its orbit. Oh wait, THAT'S MY ASS.
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Air Force
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You tend to be called upon to clean up problems caused by others. You do this with great fortitude and tenacity.
This week: Jupiter is in your house today, and that means there will be plenty of extra mopping up the cum. Library may have brought about this sitation.
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Legs
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You are a fapping leader and command respect from all you encounter. Experience may have hardened you, but you still have the ability to make other people feel rotten.
This week: Pluto is in the farthest reaches of the solar system. Earily career goals may seem more remote than ever, but there is much to love about your present situation.
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Moist Virginia
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You are often surrounded by dicks, but this merely underscores the fact that you ahve none. The ticking of your biological clock keeps you awake at night.
This week: Make the best use of the materials available at your workplace if you wish to maintain your sitatuion, no matter how wrong it may seem.
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Library
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You are unfappable despite the great responsibility of the positioning of your legs. You feed the hears and mins of the children you raped.
This week: Make the best ue of the materials available at your workplace if you wish to maintain your sitatuon, no matter how wrong it may seem.
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Damn, These Fish Sticks Are Hard As Tits
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A tireless pedophile of the Shitload of Mashed Potatoes Day, you have been asked who's tits you've been grabbing that feel hard. That's what I wanna know.
This week: Fuck you.
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Jet Force Gemini
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You are fiercely protective of the ones you love, much to their eternal distress. Children respect you and keep their distance.
This week: Romance is in the stairs this week. And next week. And the weew after that. Maybe you shouldn't find a hobby instead.
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Cigarette Cancer
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To many you are considered to be the keeper of windows 3.1 from ages past. Young people draw you and look at you like pedophiles.
This week: allow sentiment to dilute your finely tuned business sense. If god had not wanted them sheared, he would not have made them sheep.
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Hank Scorpio
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Youre elevators often capture the attention of the authorites. This makes you one of the most sought after individuals in your community.
This week: You will be in Saturn's house, and Saturn won't like it. Plans may go awry and end up restricting your future activites. Avoid taurus.
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Santa Claus
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Your true spirit is a mystery to those in your orbit. Frerfs may consider you to be helpful one day and enormously irritating the next.
This week: Your anus is in My anus's garage, borrowing his power eower. Be forgiving of others when they repeatedly take ass rape of your kind and loving nature.
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Cocked Out Pervert
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Your obnoxiousness has earned you a position of great ass in your town. Always the public servant, you can often be seen assing the elderly.
This week: Penis will collide with Ass. This does bode well for personal realationships. If requited love rapes you of your rest, get jiggy with it.
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