Send In the Clowns/Quotes
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- Lisa: Oh, my gosh! It's "Campaign USA"!!! The presidential candidates themselves have come to Springfield to view for the highest office of our great nation! Why, we'll get a first-hand look at democracy in action! We'll witness live debates! Stump speeches! Robust political rhetoric! This is history in the making! Isn't it wonderful?!!
- Homer: Are they gone yet?
- Lisa: Sorry, dad. The American political process has to run it's course!
- Sam Reason: Well, well, well, little lady. They really don't cotton to members of the general public getting too close. Makes everybody kinda skittish, you see.
- Lisa: But if the public isn't allowed near the candidates, how can we decide who to vote for?
- Sam Reason: See, now little missy, that's what we folks in the media are here for! We mosey on up to them candidates real friendly like, you see? And we look to see what they're wearing, and what they're eating, and what stupid things they're saying about this and that...
- Lisa: Yes, but...
- Sam Reason: ...and then we look to see what their wives are wearing, and what their wives are eating, and what stupid things their wives are saying about this and that. And then we sort weed through it all and report our pickings back to you all at home!
- Lisa: That's very nice of you, Mr. Reason, but it seems we never get to see what these potential presidents of the United States are really like.
- Otto: Hey, Lisa! Why the sad face?
- Lisa: I just caught and ugly glimpse of the facade behind the facade of this "Campaign USA."
- Otto: "Campaign USA?" I thought this was Lollapalooza.
- Lisa: No, Otto. It's the race for the presidency of the United States of America.
- Homer: Are they gone yet?
- Lisa: No, dad! And why has everyone gone into hiding? This is our town and our country! The people should be out there asking those candidates tough questions and demanding real answers!
- Homer: But they frighten us, honey! They talk about scary things... like taxes and immigrants!
- Marge: They've taken over the whole town! I wish they'd just leave!
- Lisa: Forget it, mom. It looks like they've settled in.
