Difference between revisions of "Lisa's Substitute/Quotes"
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}} | }} | ||
''(Bart shows the whole classroom the tape for his project called, "How Kittens Are Born: The Ugly Truth")'' | ''(Bart shows the whole classroom the tape for his project called, "How Kittens Are Born: The Ugly Truth")'' | ||
− | :'''Bart''': "…and here comes Snowball II. This is the one we kept." | + | :'''[[Bart Simpson|Bart]]''': "…and here comes Snowball II. This is the one we kept." |
:'''All''': "EWW!!" | :'''All''': "EWW!!" | ||
:'''Bart''': "We were gonna keep the gray one, but the mother ate her." | :'''Bart''': "We were gonna keep the gray one, but the mother ate her." | ||
:'''All''': "EWWWWW!!" | :'''All''': "EWWWWW!!" | ||
− | :'''Martin''': "Mrs. Krabappel, he's traumatizing the children!" | + | :'''[[Martin]]''': "Mrs. Krabappel, he's traumatizing the children!" |
− | :'''Mrs. Krabappel''': "As usual, I agree with you, Martin. Bart, shut that off and take your seat immediately!" | + | :'''[[Mrs. Krabappel]]''': "As usual, I agree with you, Martin. Bart, shut that off and take your seat immediately!" |
:'''Bart''': "Oh, look! This is really cool. When I hit reverse, I can make 'em go back in." | :'''Bart''': "Oh, look! This is really cool. When I hit reverse, I can make 'em go back in." | ||
''(The whole classroom screams)'' | ''(The whole classroom screams)'' | ||
---- | ---- | ||
− | :''Mr. Bergstrom is leading the second grade in a rendition of "Home on the Range".'' | + | :''[[Mr. Bergstrom]] is leading the second grade in a rendition of "Home on the Range".'' |
− | :'''Janey''': ''(Laughing)'' "Lisa, look at this!" | + | :'''[[Janey]]''': ''(Laughing)'' "Lisa, look at this!" |
− | :''Lisa unfurls Janey's note to see it is a caricature of Mr. Bergstrom singing.'' | + | :''[[Lisa]] unfurls Janey's note to see it is a caricature of Mr. Bergstrom singing.'' |
:'''Caricature #1''': [THE SINGING DORK.] | :'''Caricature #1''': [THE SINGING DORK.] | ||
:''Lisa is caught by Mr. Bergstrom.'' | :''Lisa is caught by Mr. Bergstrom.'' | ||
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:''Lisa sees Miss Hoover has returned.'' | :''Lisa sees Miss Hoover has returned.'' | ||
:'''Lisa''': "Where is Mr. Bergstrom?!" | :'''Lisa''': "Where is Mr. Bergstrom?!" | ||
− | :'''Miss Hoover''': "I do not know, but I would sure like to have words with him!" | + | :'''[[Miss Hoover]]''': "I do not know, but I would sure like to have words with him!" |
:'''Miss Hoover''': "He didn't touch my lesson plan. What did he teach you?" | :'''Miss Hoover''': "He didn't touch my lesson plan. What did he teach you?" | ||
:'''Lisa''': "That life is worth living." | :'''Lisa''': "That life is worth living." | ||
---- | ---- | ||
:'''Miss Hoover''': "You see, class, my Lyme Disease turned out to be" ''(Spells on blackboard)'' "psychosomatic." | :'''Miss Hoover''': "You see, class, my Lyme Disease turned out to be" ''(Spells on blackboard)'' "psychosomatic." | ||
− | :'''Ralph''': "Does that mean you're crazy?" | + | :'''[[Ralph]]''': "Does that mean you're crazy?" |
:'''Janey''': "No, that means she was faking it." | :'''Janey''': "No, that means she was faking it." | ||
:'''Miss Hoover''': "No, actually, it was a little of both." | :'''Miss Hoover''': "No, actually, it was a little of both." | ||
---- | ---- | ||
:'''Lisa''': "You, sir, are a baboon!" | :'''Lisa''': "You, sir, are a baboon!" | ||
− | :'''Homer''': ''(gasp)'' "Me?" | + | :'''[[Homer]]''': ''(gasp)'' "Me?" |
:'''Lisa''': "Yes, you! Baboon! Baboon! Baboon! Baboon!" | :'''Lisa''': "Yes, you! Baboon! Baboon! Baboon! Baboon!" | ||
:'''Homer''': "I don't think you realize what you're saying…" | :'''Homer''': "I don't think you realize what you're saying…" |
Revision as of 21:56, July 30, 2010
(Bart shows the whole classroom the tape for his project called, "How Kittens Are Born: The Ugly Truth")
- Bart: "…and here comes Snowball II. This is the one we kept."
- All: "EWW!!"
- Bart: "We were gonna keep the gray one, but the mother ate her."
- All: "EWWWWW!!"
- Martin: "Mrs. Krabappel, he's traumatizing the children!"
- Mrs. Krabappel: "As usual, I agree with you, Martin. Bart, shut that off and take your seat immediately!"
- Bart: "Oh, look! This is really cool. When I hit reverse, I can make 'em go back in."
(The whole classroom screams)
- Mr. Bergstrom is leading the second grade in a rendition of "Home on the Range".
- Janey: (Laughing) "Lisa, look at this!"
- Lisa unfurls Janey's note to see it is a caricature of Mr. Bergstrom singing.
- Caricature #1: [THE SINGING DORK.]
- Lisa is caught by Mr. Bergstrom.
- Mr. Bergstrom: "Did you draw this?"
- Lisa: "No, of course not! Uh, although now I almost wish I did."
- Mr. Bergstrom: "I like it. I was going to request if I may have it."
- Lisa: "Oh sure!"
- Lisa gives caricature to Mr. Bergstrom, who continues the song.
- Janey: (Whispering) "Lisa, look at this!"
- Lisa unfurls Janey's note to see it is a caricature of herself singing.
- Caricature #2: [THE SINGING DORKETTE.]
- Lisa sees Miss Hoover has returned.
- Lisa: "Where is Mr. Bergstrom?!"
- Miss Hoover: "I do not know, but I would sure like to have words with him!"
- Miss Hoover: "He didn't touch my lesson plan. What did he teach you?"
- Lisa: "That life is worth living."
- Miss Hoover: "You see, class, my Lyme Disease turned out to be" (Spells on blackboard) "psychosomatic."
- Ralph: "Does that mean you're crazy?"
- Janey: "No, that means she was faking it."
- Miss Hoover: "No, actually, it was a little of both."
- Lisa: "You, sir, are a baboon!"
- Homer: (gasp) "Me?"
- Lisa: "Yes, you! Baboon! Baboon! Baboon! Baboon!"
- Homer: "I don't think you realize what you're saying…"
- Lisa: "BABOON!"
- Homer: "Lisa, don't hold anything back, you can tell me. Are you crying 'cause you called daddy a baboon?"
- Lisa: "No!"
- Homer: "Nuts. I know you are sad because you lost a man you care about. I cannot relate because everyone I care about is under this roof. In a way I consider myself lucky. If you want think I am a baboon I can be one."
- Homer makes monkey noises and apes about Lisa's bedroom, which makes her laugh.
- Homer: "So are we all well?"
- Lisa: "Yes, Dad."
- Bart's bedroom. He is angrily throwing a rubber ball against the wall.
- Bart:(talking to himself) "Stupid Martin Prince!"
- Homer enters bedroom.
- Homer: "Bart, does the class president get paid?"
- Bart: "No."
- Homer: "Does he have to do extra work?"
- Bart: "Yes."
- Homer: "And is this Martin Prince going to get to do anything neat, like throw out the first ball at the World Series?"
- Bart: "Hell no!"
- Homer: "So let the baby have his bottle! That is what I always tell myself."
- Bart: "Thanks, Dad."