Difference between revisions of "Itchy & Scratchy: The Movie/Quotes"
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| − | + | '''Marge''': Now be good for Grampa while we're at the parent-teacher meeting. We'll bring back dinner. | |
| − | |||
| − | |||
| − | |||
| − | |||
| − | + | '''Lisa''': What are we gonna have? | |
| − | |||
| − | |||
| + | '''Homer''': Well, that depends on what your teachers say. If you've been good, pizza. If you've been bad... uh... let's see... poison. | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Lisa''': What if one of us has been good and one of us has been bad? | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Bart''': Poison pizza. | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Homer''': Oh, no! I'm not making two stops! | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | '''Mrs. Krabappel''': Bart has been guilty of the following atrocities: synthesizing a laxative from peas and carrots, replacing my birth control with Tic Tacs... | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | '''Ms. Hoover''': You must have read to her at a young age. | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Homer''': I did! I did read to her! (flashback to Homer reading to baby Lisa) 8:00, Happy Days. The Fonz, Henry Winkler, is worried he's losing his cool. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | '''Homer''': Well, I've always been a firm believer in the three R's: Reading TV Guide, um...Writing to TV Guide, um...and Renewing TV Guide. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | '''Homer''': "My child is on the honor roll at Springfield Elementary." You know, I thought I'd never find a replacement for my "Where's the Beef?" bumper sticker. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | '''Bart''': Boy, time really flies when you're reading... [sees what he's holding the Bible!? Ewww.... | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | '''Ms. Krabappel''': I believe that with persistent discipline, even the poorest student can end up becoming, oh, say, Chief Justice of the Supreme Court. | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Homer''': Chief Justice of the Supreme Court. What great men he would join: John Marshall, Charles Evans Hughes, Warren Berger... Mmmmmmm... Berger... | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | '''Homer''': If you don't start making more sense, we're going to have to put you in a home. | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Grampa''': You already put me in a home. | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Homer''': Then we'll put you in the crooked home we saw on 60 Minutes! | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Grampa''': [meekly] I'll be good. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | '''Homer''': (to Bart) Young man, since you broke Grandpa's teeth, then he gets to break yours. | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Grampa''': Aw, this is gonna be sweet. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | '''Homer''': Boy, you're gonna have to be punished for this. | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Bart''': Dad, you could punish me, but that means you have to think of a punishment, sit here and make sure I do it... | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Homer''': [whining] Aw... | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Bart''': Or... you could let me go play with Milhouse, while you spend the afternoon watching unpredictable Mexican sitcoms. | ||
| + | |||
| + | [turns on the TV and "Bumble-Bee Man" is on] | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Homer''': Hee hee hee. Run along, you little scamp. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | '''Homer''' [to Bart]: I said I'm gonna punish you and come hell or high water I.. wait a minute. [hears ice cream truck] Ice cream truck! Me, me, I was here first! | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | '''Homer''': Someday you'll thank me for this, son. | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Bart''': Not bloody likely. | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Homer''': No it's true, You know, when I was a boy, I really wanted a catcher's mitt, but my dad wouldn't get it for me. So I held my breath until I passed out and banged my head on the coffee table. The doctor thought I might have brain damage. | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Bart''': Dad, what's the point of this story? | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Homer''': I like stories. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | '''Homer''': You're welcome to watch anything you want on TV. | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Bart''': TV Sucks. | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Homer''': I know you're upset right now so I'll pretend you didn't say that! | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | '''Marge''': Do you want your son to grow up to be Chief Justice of the Supreme Court or a sleazy male stripper? | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Homer''': Can't he be both like the late Earl Warren? | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Marge''': Earl Warren wasn't a stripper! | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Homer''': Now who's being naive? | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | '''Kent Brockman''': Tonight on "Eye on Springfield", we meet a man who's been hiccupping for 45 years! | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Man''': [hic!] Kill me! [hic!] Kill me! | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | '''Kent Brockman''': Let's take a look back at the year 1928. A year when you might have seen Al Capone dancing the Charleston on top of a flagpole. It was also the year of the very virst Scratchy cartoon entitled "That Happy Cat." The film did very poorly, but the following year, Scratchy was teamed up with a psychotic young mouse named Itchy and cartoon history was made. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | '''Homer''': Bart, didn't I ask you to watch Maggie? | ||
| + | '''Bart''': Sounds like something you'd say. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | '''Snake''' [running off with a VCR]: Oh, no! Beta! | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | '''Chief Wiggum''': Aw, isn't that cute, a baby driving a car. Oh, look there's a dog driving a bus! | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | '''Lisa''' [about Bart]: He has the demented melancholy of a Tennessee Williams heroine! | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Homer''': Don't you think I know that? | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | '''Homer''': Are you kidding? Lisa turned out perfect! I wont sit here and listen to you badmouthing Lisa! | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Marge''': We're talking about Bart. | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Homer''': Oh. That guy. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | '''Milhouse''': I've seen the Itchy and Scratchy Movie 13 times. | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Nelson''': I've seen it 17 times! | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Bart''': You must be getting pretty tired of that movie by now, huh? | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Milhouse''': No one who saw the movie'd say that! | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Nelson''': Let's get him! | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | '''Homer''': Dad, you and your stories. "Bart broke my teeth", "The nurses are stealing my money", "This thing on my neck is getting bigger." | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | '''Bart''' [in the future, seeing the "Itchy & Scratchy" movie with an elderly Homer]: One senior citizen and one Chief Justice of the Supreme Court. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | '''Homer''': Mmm... Soylent Green. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | '''Homer''': Which one's the mouse? | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Bart''': Itchy. | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Homer''': Itchy's a jerk. | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''Bart''': Yeah. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
{{Season 4 Q}} | {{Season 4 Q}} | ||
[[Category:Quotes]] | [[Category:Quotes]] | ||
Revision as of 13:06, September 15, 2010
Marge: Now be good for Grampa while we're at the parent-teacher meeting. We'll bring back dinner.
Lisa: What are we gonna have?
Homer: Well, that depends on what your teachers say. If you've been good, pizza. If you've been bad... uh... let's see... poison.
Lisa: What if one of us has been good and one of us has been bad?
Bart: Poison pizza.
Homer: Oh, no! I'm not making two stops!
Mrs. Krabappel: Bart has been guilty of the following atrocities: synthesizing a laxative from peas and carrots, replacing my birth control with Tic Tacs...
Ms. Hoover: You must have read to her at a young age.
Homer: I did! I did read to her! (flashback to Homer reading to baby Lisa) 8:00, Happy Days. The Fonz, Henry Winkler, is worried he's losing his cool.
Homer: Well, I've always been a firm believer in the three R's: Reading TV Guide, um...Writing to TV Guide, um...and Renewing TV Guide.
Homer: "My child is on the honor roll at Springfield Elementary." You know, I thought I'd never find a replacement for my "Where's the Beef?" bumper sticker.
Bart: Boy, time really flies when you're reading... [sees what he's holding the Bible!? Ewww....
Ms. Krabappel: I believe that with persistent discipline, even the poorest student can end up becoming, oh, say, Chief Justice of the Supreme Court.
Homer: Chief Justice of the Supreme Court. What great men he would join: John Marshall, Charles Evans Hughes, Warren Berger... Mmmmmmm... Berger...
Homer: If you don't start making more sense, we're going to have to put you in a home.
Grampa: You already put me in a home.
Homer: Then we'll put you in the crooked home we saw on 60 Minutes!
Grampa: [meekly] I'll be good.
Homer: (to Bart) Young man, since you broke Grandpa's teeth, then he gets to break yours.
Grampa: Aw, this is gonna be sweet.
Homer: Boy, you're gonna have to be punished for this.
Bart: Dad, you could punish me, but that means you have to think of a punishment, sit here and make sure I do it...
Homer: [whining] Aw...
Bart: Or... you could let me go play with Milhouse, while you spend the afternoon watching unpredictable Mexican sitcoms.
[turns on the TV and "Bumble-Bee Man" is on]
Homer: Hee hee hee. Run along, you little scamp.
Homer [to Bart]: I said I'm gonna punish you and come hell or high water I.. wait a minute. [hears ice cream truck] Ice cream truck! Me, me, I was here first!
Homer: Someday you'll thank me for this, son.
Bart: Not bloody likely.
Homer: No it's true, You know, when I was a boy, I really wanted a catcher's mitt, but my dad wouldn't get it for me. So I held my breath until I passed out and banged my head on the coffee table. The doctor thought I might have brain damage.
Bart: Dad, what's the point of this story?
Homer: I like stories.
Homer: You're welcome to watch anything you want on TV.
Bart: TV Sucks.
Homer: I know you're upset right now so I'll pretend you didn't say that!
Marge: Do you want your son to grow up to be Chief Justice of the Supreme Court or a sleazy male stripper?
Homer: Can't he be both like the late Earl Warren?
Marge: Earl Warren wasn't a stripper!
Homer: Now who's being naive?
Kent Brockman: Tonight on "Eye on Springfield", we meet a man who's been hiccupping for 45 years!
Man: [hic!] Kill me! [hic!] Kill me!
Kent Brockman: Let's take a look back at the year 1928. A year when you might have seen Al Capone dancing the Charleston on top of a flagpole. It was also the year of the very virst Scratchy cartoon entitled "That Happy Cat." The film did very poorly, but the following year, Scratchy was teamed up with a psychotic young mouse named Itchy and cartoon history was made.
Homer: Bart, didn't I ask you to watch Maggie? Bart: Sounds like something you'd say.
Snake [running off with a VCR]: Oh, no! Beta!
Chief Wiggum: Aw, isn't that cute, a baby driving a car. Oh, look there's a dog driving a bus!
Lisa [about Bart]: He has the demented melancholy of a Tennessee Williams heroine!
Homer: Don't you think I know that?
Homer: Are you kidding? Lisa turned out perfect! I wont sit here and listen to you badmouthing Lisa!
Marge: We're talking about Bart.
Homer: Oh. That guy.
Milhouse: I've seen the Itchy and Scratchy Movie 13 times.
Nelson: I've seen it 17 times!
Bart: You must be getting pretty tired of that movie by now, huh?
Milhouse: No one who saw the movie'd say that!
Nelson: Let's get him!
Homer: Dad, you and your stories. "Bart broke my teeth", "The nurses are stealing my money", "This thing on my neck is getting bigger."
Bart [in the future, seeing the "Itchy & Scratchy" movie with an elderly Homer]: One senior citizen and one Chief Justice of the Supreme Court.
Homer: Mmm... Soylent Green.
Homer: Which one's the mouse?
Bart: Itchy.
Homer: Itchy's a jerk.
Bart: Yeah.
