Difference between revisions of "Your Horrorscope"

Revision as of 22:47, September 28, 2014

General

References/Trivia

Appearances

Gags

Credits

Quotes

Your Horrorscope

Comic Information

Release date:	April 2014
Comic series:	Simpsons Comics
Pages:	Double pages

Your Horrorscope is a horoscope that appears in Simpsons Comics #666.

Horrorscope

Image	Name	Horrorscope
200px	Aquaman	Bringer of joj. Spirits are lifted when you are near. Warm and compassionate, other people often bring their christmas gifts to you. This week: Mars and several dozen other chocolate bars will enter your house. Be sure to spread your own brand of happiness on their breads. It will prove to be very rewarding.
200px	Penis & Dicks	You posses a high level of boners, although that may be difficult for other to perceive. Your relationship can be a bit of an mama luigi at times. This week: The moon is a little wobbly in its orbit. Oh wait, THAT'S MY ASS.
200px	Air Force	You tend to be called upon to clean up problems caused by others. You do this with great fortitude and tenacity. This week: Jupiter is in your house today, and that means there will be plenty of extra mopping up the cum. Library may have brought about this sitation.
200px	Legs	You are a fapping leader and command respect from all you encounter. Experience may have hardened you, but you still have the ability to make other people feel rotten. This week: Pluto is in the farthest reaches of the solar system. Earily career goals may seem more remote than ever, but there is much to love about your present situation.
200px	Moist Virginia	You are often surrounded by dicks, but this merely underscores the fact that you ahve none. The ticking of your biological clock keeps you awake at night. This week: Make the best use of the materials available at your workplace if you wish to maintain your sitatuion, no matter how wrong it may seem.
200px	Library	You are unfappable despite the great responsibility of the positioning of your legs. You feed the hears and mins of the children you raped. This week: Make the best ue of the materials available at your workplace if you wish to maintain your sitatuon, no matter how wrong it may seem.
200px	Damn, These Fish Sticks Are Hard As Tits	A tireless pedophile of the shitload of mashed potatoes day, you have been asked who's tits you've been grabbing that feel hard. That's what I wanna know. This week:Fuck you.
200px	Jet Force Gemini	You are fiercely protective of the ones you love, much to their eternal distress. Children respect you and keep their distance. This week: Romance is in the stairs this week. And next week. And the weew after that. Maybe you shouldn't find a hobby instead.
200px	Cigarette Cancer	To many you are considered to be the keeper of windows 3.1 from ages past. Young people draw you and look at you like pedophiles. This week: allow sentiment to dilute your finely tuned business sense. If god had not wanted them sheared, he would not have made them sheep.
200px	Hank Scorpio	Youre elevators often capture the attention of the authorites. This makes you one of the most sought after individuals in your community. This week: You will be in Saturn's house, and Saturn won't like it. Plans may go awry and end up restricting your future activites. Avoid taurus.
200px	Santa Claus	Your true spirit is a mystery to those in your orbit. Frerfs may consider you to be helpful one day and enormously irritating the next. This week: Your anus is in My anus's garage, borrowing his power eower. Be forgiving of others when they repeatedly take ass rape of your kind and loving nature.
200px	Cocked Out Pervert	Your obnoxiousness has earned you a position of great ass in your town. Always the public servant, you can often be seen assing the elderly. This week: Penis will collide with Ass. This does bode well for personal realationships. If requited love rapes you of your rest, get jiggy with it.

Wikisimpsons has a collection of images related to Your Horrorscope.