Difference between revisions of "Chalkboard gag"
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
(→List of Chalkboard Gags) |
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| Line 50: | Line 50: | ||
*I will not aim for the head | *I will not aim for the head | ||
*I will not barf unless I'm sick | *I will not barf unless I'm sick | ||
| − | *I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty (Lisa claps erasers) | + | *I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty ''(Lisa claps erasers)'' |
*I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge | *I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge | ||
*I will not conduct my own fire drills | *I will not conduct my own fire drills | ||
| Line 62: | Line 62: | ||
*I will not prescribe medication | *I will not prescribe medication | ||
*I will not bury the new kid | *I will not bury the new kid | ||
| − | *I will try to raise a better child (Marge during | + | *I will try to raise a better child ''(Marge during an episode)'' |
*I will not teach others to fly | *I will not teach others to fly | ||
*I will not bring sheep to class | *I will not bring sheep to class | ||
*A burp is not an answer | *A burp is not an answer | ||
*Teacher is not a leper | *Teacher is not a leper | ||
| − | *Coffee is not for kids (each line becomes less legible and the last line is a scrawl) | + | *Coffee is not for kids ''(each line becomes less legible and the last line is a scrawl)'' |
*I will not eat things for money | *I will not eat things for money | ||
*I will not yell "She's Dead" during roll call | *I will not yell "She's Dead" during roll call | ||
| Line 81: | Line 81: | ||
*I will never win an Emmy | *I will never win an Emmy | ||
*The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy | *The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy | ||
| − | *All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy (not written line by line, like the one sentence story in 'The Shining') | + | *All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy ''(not written line by line, like the one sentence story in 'The Shining')'' |
*I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause | *I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause | ||
*I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers | *I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers | ||
| Line 89: | Line 89: | ||
*Organ transplants are best left to the professionals | *Organ transplants are best left to the professionals | ||
*The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with Hail Satan | *The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with Hail Satan | ||
| − | *I will not celebrate meaningless milestones (the 100th episode) | + | *I will not celebrate meaningless milestones ''(the 100th episode)'' |
*There are plenty of businesses like show business | *There are plenty of businesses like show business | ||
*I will not re-transmit without the express permission of Major League Baseball | *I will not re-transmit without the express permission of Major League Baseball | ||
| Line 113: | Line 113: | ||
*I will not mock Mrs. Dumbface | *I will not mock Mrs. Dumbface | ||
*The First Amendment does not cover burping | *The First Amendment does not cover burping | ||
| − | *This is not a clue...or is it? (there are clues that are supposed to reveal who shoots Mr. Burns) | + | *This is not a clue...or is it? ''(there are clues that are supposed to reveal who shoots Mr. Burns) '' |
| − | *I will not complain about the solution when I hear it (the shooter is revealed) | + | *I will not complain about the solution when I hear it ''(the shooter is revealed)'' |
*"Bewitched" does not promote Satanism | *"Bewitched" does not promote Satanism | ||
*No one wants to hear from my armpits | *No one wants to hear from my armpits | ||
| Line 125: | Line 125: | ||
*I did not learn everything I need to know in kindergarten | *I did not learn everything I need to know in kindergarten | ||
*I am not my long-lost twin | *I am not my long-lost twin | ||
| − | *I will not be a snickerpuss. (Lisa during episode) | + | *I will not be a snickerpuss. ''(Lisa during episode)'' |
*The truth is not out there | *The truth is not out there | ||
*I am not licensed to do anything | *I am not licensed to do anything | ||
| Line 142: | Line 142: | ||
*My butt does not deserve a website | *My butt does not deserve a website | ||
*I will not demand what I'm worth | *I will not demand what I'm worth | ||
| − | *I will not mess with the opening credits (appeared in place of the couch gag, the rest of the family runs into the classroom) | + | *I will not mess with the opening credits ''(appeared in place of the couch gag, the rest of the family runs into the classroom)'' |
*I am not the new Dalai Lama | *I am not the new Dalai Lama | ||
*I was not the inspiration for "Kramer" | *I was not the inspiration for "Kramer" | ||
*I will not file frivolous lawsuits | *I will not file frivolous lawsuits | ||
| − | *The Simpsons Halloween Special IX (painted in blood with a brush) | + | *The Simpsons Halloween Special IX ''(painted in blood with a brush)'' |
| − | *"butt.com" is not my E-mail address (censored to '"butt.butt" is not my E-mail address' | + | *"butt.com" is not my E-mail address ''(censored to '"butt.butt" is not my E-mail address)'' |
*No one cares what my definition of "is" is | *No one cares what my definition of "is" is | ||
*I will not scream for ice cream | *I will not scream for ice cream | ||
| Line 160: | Line 160: | ||
*It does not suck to be you | *It does not suck to be you | ||
*I cannot absolve sins | *I cannot absolve sins | ||
| − | *I Well Knot D-Face (Bart in | + | *I Well Knot D-Face ''(Bart in hieroglyphs during episode)'' |
*A trained ape could not teach gym | *A trained ape could not teach gym | ||
*Loose teeth don't need my help | *Loose teeth don't need my help | ||
| Line 172: | Line 172: | ||
*I can't see dead people | *I can't see dead people | ||
*I will not sell my kidney on eBay | *I will not sell my kidney on eBay | ||
| − | *I will not do math in class (Lisa during episode) | + | *I will not do math in class ''(Lisa during episode)'' |
*I will not create art from dung | *I will not create art from dung | ||
*I will stop phoning it in | *I will stop phoning it in | ||
| Line 186: | Line 186: | ||
*I cannot hire a substitute student | *I cannot hire a substitute student | ||
*I will not obey the voices in my head | *I will not obey the voices in my head | ||
| − | *I will not plant | + | *I will not plant sublimin'''al''' messa'''gore'''s |
*I will not surprise the incontinent | *I will not surprise the incontinent | ||
*I am not the acting President | *I am not the acting President | ||
| Line 193: | Line 193: | ||
*The nurse is not dealing | *The nurse is not dealing | ||
*Science class should not end in tragedy | *Science class should not end in tragedy | ||
| − | *I ain't not a dorkus (Skinner during episode) | + | *I ain't not a dorkus ''(Skinner during episode)'' |
*Network TV is not dead | *Network TV is not dead | ||
*I will not "let the dogs out" | *I will not "let the dogs out" | ||
| Line 221: | Line 221: | ||
*This school does not need a "regime change" | *This school does not need a "regime change" | ||
*SpongeBob is not a contraceptive | *SpongeBob is not a contraceptive | ||
| − | *I will not (chops up blackboard with axe) | + | *I will not ''(chops up blackboard with axe, 300th episode)'' |
*My pen is not a booger launcher | *My pen is not a booger launcher | ||
*Sandwiches should not contain sand | *Sandwiches should not contain sand | ||
| Line 228: | Line 228: | ||
*Poking a dead raccoon is not research | *Poking a dead raccoon is not research | ||
*Beer in a milk carton is not milk | *Beer in a milk carton is not milk | ||
| − | *(instead of a chalkboard Bart is at a vending machine) | + | *''(instead of a chalkboard Bart is at a vending machine)'' |
*A booger is not a bookmark | *A booger is not a bookmark | ||
*Does any kid still do this anymore? | *Does any kid still do this anymore? | ||
*I am not smarter than the President | *I am not smarter than the President | ||
*Teacher was not dumped -- it was mutual | *Teacher was not dumped -- it was mutual | ||
| − | *I will not laminate dog doo (live-action) | + | *I will not laminate dog doo ''(live-action)'' |
| − | *I will not flip the classroom upside down (classroom flipped upside-down) | + | *I will not flip the classroom upside down ''(classroom flipped upside-down)'' |
*I will not leak the plot of the movie | *I will not leak the plot of the movie | ||
*Je ne parle pas Français | *Je ne parle pas Français | ||
*Have a great summer, everyone | *Have a great summer, everyone | ||
| − | *A baby beat me up (Skinner in episode) | + | *A baby beat me up ''(Skinner in episode)'' |
*We are not all naked under our clothes | *We are not all naked under our clothes | ||
*Frankincense is not a monster | *Frankincense is not a monster | ||
| − | *So Long Suckers (Bart during episode) | + | *So Long Suckers ''(Bart during episode)'' |
[[Category: Episodes]] | [[Category: Episodes]] | ||
Revision as of 19:06, September 30, 2007
During the opening credits, Bart is usualy featured writing a phrase on a green chalkboard over and over as punishment after class. A few times during an episode Bart or another character does it.
List of Chalkboard Gags
- I will not waste chalk
- I will not skateboard in the halls
- I will not burp in class
- I will not instigate revolution
- I will not draw naked ladies in class
- I did not see Elvis
- I will not call my teacher "Hot Cakes"
- Garlic gum is not funny
- They are laughing at me, not with me
- I will not yell "Fire" in a crowded classroom
- I will not encourage others to fly
- I will not fake my way through life
- Tar is not a plaything
- I will not Xerox my butt
- It's potato, not potatoe
- I will not trade pants with others
- I am not a 32 year old woman
- I will not do that thing with my tongue
- I will not drive the principal's car
- I will not pledge allegiance to Bart
- I will not sell school property
- I WILL NOT CUT CORNERS " " " " " " " " " " " "
- I will not get very far with this attitude
- I will not make flatuent noises in class
- I will not belch the National Anthem
- I will not sell land in Florida
- I will not grease the monkey bars
- I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment
- I will not do anything bad ever again
- I will not show off (written in an Old English font)
- I will not sleep through my education
- I am not a dentist
- Spitwads are not free speech
- Nobody likes sunburn slappers
- High explosives and school don't mix
- I will not bribe Principal Skinner
- I will not squeak chalk (Bart squeaks the chalk)
- I will finish what I sta (appears on only one line)
- "Bart Bucks" are not legal tender
- I will not fake rabies (only shown in Canada)
- Underwear should be worn on the inside
- The Christmas Pageant does not stink
- I will not torment the emotionally frail
- I will not carve gods
- I will not spank others
- I will not aim for the head
- I will not barf unless I'm sick
- I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty (Lisa claps erasers)
- I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge
- I will not conduct my own fire drills
- Funny noises are not funny
- I will not spin the turtle
- I will not snap bras
- I will not fake seizures
- This punishment is not boring and pointless
- My name is not Dr. Death
- I will not defame New Orleans
- I will not prescribe medication
- I will not bury the new kid
- I will try to raise a better child (Marge during an episode)
- I will not teach others to fly
- I will not bring sheep to class
- A burp is not an answer
- Teacher is not a leper
- Coffee is not for kids (each line becomes less legible and the last line is a scrawl)
- I will not eat things for money
- I will not yell "She's Dead" during roll call
- The principal's toupee is not a Frisbee
- I will not call the principal "spud head"
- Goldfish don't bounce
- Mud is not one of the 4 food groups
- No one is interested in my underpants
- I will not sell miracle cures
- I will return the seeing-eye dog
- I do not have diplomatic immunity
- I will not charge admission to the bathroom
- I will never win an Emmy
- The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy
- All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy (not written line by line, like the one sentence story in 'The Shining')
- I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause
- I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers
- My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man
- I will not go near the kindergarten turtle
- I am not delightfully saucy
- Organ transplants are best left to the professionals
- The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with Hail Satan
- I will not celebrate meaningless milestones (the 100th episode)
- There are plenty of businesses like show business
- I will not re-transmit without the express permission of Major League Baseball
- Five days is not too long to wait for a gun
- Beans are neither fruit nor musical
- I will not use abbrev.
- I am not the reincarnation of Sammy Davis Jr.
- I will not send lard through the mail
- I will not dissect things unless instructed
- I will not whittle hall passes out of soap
- Ralph won't "morph" if you squeeze him hard enough
- Adding "just kidding" doesn't make it okay to insult the Principal
- "Bagman" is not a legitimate career choice
- Cursive writing does not mean what I think it does
- Next time it could be me on the scaffolding
- I will not hang donuts on my person
- I will remember to take my medication
- I will not strut around like I own the place
- I will only do this once a year
- The Good Humor man can only be pushed so far
- I do not have power of attorney over first graders
- Nerve gas is not a toy
- I will not mock Mrs. Dumbface
- The First Amendment does not cover burping
- This is not a clue...or is it? (there are clues that are supposed to reveal who shoots Mr. Burns)
- I will not complain about the solution when I hear it (the shooter is revealed)
- "Bewitched" does not promote Satanism
- No one wants to hear from my armpits
- I am not a lean mean spitting machine
- The boys room is not a water park
- Indian burns are not our cultural heritage
- Wedgies are unhealthy for children and other living things
- I will stop talking about the twelve inch pianist
- I am not certified to remove asbestos
- I did not learn everything I need to know in kindergarten
- I am not my long-lost twin
- I will not be a snickerpuss. (Lisa during episode)
- The truth is not out there
- I am not licensed to do anything
- I will not hide the teacher's Prozac
- A fire drill does not demand a fire
- I no longer want my MTV
- Everyone is tired of that Richard Gere story
- I did not invent Irish dancing
- I will not tease Fatty
- There was no Roman god named "Fartacus"
- Rudolph's red nose is not alcohol-related
- Shooting paintballs is not an art form
- Pain is not the cleanser
- Silly String is not a nasal spray
- I was not told to do this
- My butt does not deserve a website
- I will not demand what I'm worth
- I will not mess with the opening credits (appeared in place of the couch gag, the rest of the family runs into the classroom)
- I am not the new Dalai Lama
- I was not the inspiration for "Kramer"
- I will not file frivolous lawsuits
- The Simpsons Halloween Special IX (painted in blood with a brush)
- "butt.com" is not my E-mail address (censored to '"butt.butt" is not my E-mail address)
- No one cares what my definition of "is" is
- I will not scream for ice cream
- I am not a licensed hairstylist
- "The President did it" is not an excuse
- My mom is not dating Jerry Seinfeld
- Sherri does not "got back"
- I will not do the Dirty Bird
- No one wants to hear about my sciatica
- Hillbillies are people too
- Grammar is not a time of waste
- It does not suck to be you
- I cannot absolve sins
- I Well Knot D-Face (Bart in hieroglyphs during episode)
- A trained ape could not teach gym
- Loose teeth don't need my help
- I have neither been there nor done that
- I'm so very tired
- Fridays are not "pants optional"
- Pork is not a verb
- I am not the last Don
- I did not win the Nobel Fart Prize
- I won't not use no double negatives
- I can't see dead people
- I will not sell my kidney on eBay
- I will not do math in class (Lisa during episode)
- I will not create art from dung
- I will stop phoning it in
- Class clown is not a paid position
- Substitute teachers are not scabs
- My suspension was not "mutual"
- A belch is not an oral report
- Dodgeball stops at the gym door
- "Non-Flammable" is not a challenge
- I was not touched "there" by an angel
- I am not here on a fartball scholarship
- I will not dance on anyone's grave
- I cannot hire a substitute student
- I will not obey the voices in my head
- I will not plant subliminal messagores
- I will not surprise the incontinent
- I am not the acting President
- I was not the sixth Beatle
- I will only provide a urine sample when asked
- The nurse is not dealing
- Science class should not end in tragedy
- I ain't not a dorkus (Skinner during episode)
- Network TV is not dead
- I will not "let the dogs out"
- I will not hide the teacher's medication
- I will not publish the Principal's credit report
- The hamster did not have "a full life"
- I will not buy a Presidential pardon
- "Temptation Island" was not a sleazy piece of crap
- I will not scare the Vice President
- I will not flush evidence
- Fire is not the cleanser
- Genetics is not an excuse
- Today is not Mothra's day
- I should not be twenty-one by now
- Nobody reads these anymore
- A burp in a jar is not a science project
- Fun does not have a size
- I am not Charlie Brown on acid
- I do not have a cereal named after me
- I will not bite the hand that feeds me Butterfingers
- The giving tree is not a chump
- Making Milhouse cry is not a science project
- Vampire is not a career choice
- I will never lie about being cancelled again
- Fish do not like coffee
- Milhouse did not test cootie positive
- This school does not need a "regime change"
- SpongeBob is not a contraceptive
- I will not (chops up blackboard with axe, 300th episode)
- My pen is not a booger launcher
- Sandwiches should not contain sand
- Over forty & single is not funny
- I will not speculate on how hot teacher used to be
- Poking a dead raccoon is not research
- Beer in a milk carton is not milk
- (instead of a chalkboard Bart is at a vending machine)
- A booger is not a bookmark
- Does any kid still do this anymore?
- I am not smarter than the President
- Teacher was not dumped -- it was mutual
- I will not laminate dog doo (live-action)
- I will not flip the classroom upside down (classroom flipped upside-down)
- I will not leak the plot of the movie
- Je ne parle pas Français
- Have a great summer, everyone
- A baby beat me up (Skinner in episode)
- We are not all naked under our clothes
- Frankincense is not a monster
- So Long Suckers (Bart during episode)
