Difference between revisions of "Homer Goes to College/Quotes"
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| + | :''[One lazy afternoon at [[Springfield Nuclear Power Plant]], [[Homer]] is asleep at his workstation and a dog is sleeping on the floor next to his chair. In his sleep, Homer slumps over, falling onto a button labeled "Plant Destruct" and triggering an alarm.]'' | ||
| + | :'''Computer Voice''': "Core meltdown in ten seconds ... nine ... eight ..." | ||
| + | :''[The dog wakes up, walks to the console, and pulls a lever. The alarm and the countdown stop.]'' | ||
| + | :'''Computer Voice''': "Meltdown averted. Good boy!" | ||
| + | |||
| + | <hr width=50%/> | ||
| + | |||
| + | :''[Later that same lazy afternoon, [[Nuclear Inspectors|inpsectors]] from the NRC arrive at the power plant in their [[Nuclear Inspection Van|van]]. A woman inspector presses the buzzer at the front door.]'' | ||
| + | :'''[[Mr. Burns]]''' ''[on intercom]'': "What? How dare you disturb me during nap time!" | ||
| + | :'''Woman Inspector''': "We're from the Nuclear Regulatory Commission. This is a surprise test of worker competence." | ||
| + | :'''Mr. Burns''': "There must be some mistake. We, uhh, we make cookies here. Mr. Burns' Old-Fashioned Good-Time Extra-Chewy-" | ||
| + | :'''Man Inspector''': ''[cutting Burns off]'' "Get the axe." | ||
| + | |||
| + | <hr width=50%/> | ||
| + | |||
| + | :''[Accompanied by his lawyers, [[Mr. Burns]] visits the [[742 Evergreen Terrace|Simpson home]]. [[Homer]] answers the door and screams at the sight of Burns and his lawyers.]'' | ||
| + | :'''Mr. Burns''': "Hello, Simpson. My lawyers and I were in the neighborhood and thought we'd stop by." | ||
| + | :'''[[Marge]]''': "Would you like to come in for tea and marshmallow squares?" | ||
| + | :''[Burns and his lawyers confer.]'' | ||
| + | :''[[Blue-Haired Lawyer]]''': "Yes, he would." | ||
| + | |||
| + | <hr width=50%/> | ||
| + | |||
:''[On being accepted to college, [[Homer]] burns his high school diploma, then dances around while the fire spreads.]'' | :''[On being accepted to college, [[Homer]] burns his high school diploma, then dances around while the fire spreads.]'' | ||
:'''Homer''': "I am so smart. I am so smart. I am so smart. S-M-R-T ... Uh, I mean S-M-A-R-T." | :'''Homer''': "I am so smart. I am so smart. I am so smart. S-M-R-T ... Uh, I mean S-M-A-R-T." | ||
<hr width=50%/> | <hr width=50%/> | ||
| − | :''[ | + | |
| − | :'''Benjamin''': "Don't worry, Mr. Simpson. We can take care of ourselves." | + | :''[Now in college, [[Homer]] interrupts the [[Nuclear Physics Professor]]'s lecture.]'' |
| + | :'''Homer''': "Uhh, excuse me, Professor Brainiac, but I worked in a nuclear power plant for ten years and I think I know how a proton accelerator works." | ||
| + | :'''Professor''': "Well, please come down and show us." | ||
| + | :'''Homer''': "All right, I will." | ||
| + | :''[The scene shifts to students screaming and fleeing the building while a green radiation glow fills the windows. Homer casually walks out just as two technicians in radiation suits are walking in.]'' | ||
| + | :'''Homer''': [gesturing over shoulder] "In there, guys." | ||
| + | :'''Technicians''': "Thanks, Homer." | ||
| + | |||
| + | <hr width=50%/> | ||
| + | |||
| + | :''[Assigned supplemental tutoring, [[Homer]] meets the three nerds typing away on their computer keyboards.]'' | ||
| + | :'''Homer''': "Hiya, gang." | ||
| + | :'''[[Gary (Nerd)|Gary]]''': "Intruder alert. Intruder alert." | ||
| + | :'''[[Doug]]''': "Stop the humanoid." ''[All three nerds laugh.]'' | ||
| + | :'''Homer''': "Look, I'm supposed to get a physics tutor." | ||
| + | :'''Gary''': "Well, you've come to the right place, then. If there's one thing we know, it is science." | ||
| + | :'''Doug''': "And math." | ||
| + | :'''[[Benjamin]]''': "And the worst of every Monty Python routine." | ||
| + | |||
| + | <hr width=50%/> | ||
| + | |||
| + | :'''[[Homer]]''': "Ahh, the college road trip. What better way to spread beer-fueled mayhem." | ||
| + | |||
| + | <hr width=50%/> | ||
| + | |||
| + | :'''[[Bart]]''': "So it's a prank you're looking for, is it? I'll give you your prank." | ||
| + | |||
| + | <hr width=50%/> | ||
| + | |||
| + | :''[After catching the three nerds with a drunken and kidnapped [[Sir Oinks-A-Lot]], [[Springfield University]] Dean [[Bobby Peterson]] has just been forced to expel them.]'' | ||
| + | :'''Dean Peterson''': "I'm sorry, boys. I've never expelled anyone before, but that pig had some powerful friends." | ||
| + | :'''[[Richard Nixon]]''': ''[angrily lecturing the nerds]'' "Oh, you'll pay. Don't think you won't pay!" | ||
| + | |||
| + | <hr width=50%/> | ||
| + | |||
| + | :''[After their expulsion, the nerds say good-bye to [[Homer]] as they leave campus.]'' | ||
| + | :'''[[Benjamin]]''': "Don't worry, Mr. Simpson. We can take care of ourselves." | ||
:''[As the nerds stand outside the college's front gate, [[Snake]] comes up to them.]'' | :''[As the nerds stand outside the college's front gate, [[Snake]] comes up to them.]'' | ||
:'''Snake''': "Uh, wallet inspector." | :'''Snake''': "Uh, wallet inspector." | ||
| − | :'''Gary''': "Oh, well. Here you go. ''[The nerds hand over their wallets.]'' I believe that's all in order." | + | :'''[[Gary (Nerd)|Gary]]''': "Oh, well. Here you go. ''[The nerds hand over their wallets.]'' I believe that's all in order." |
:'''Snake''': "Whoah. I can't believe that worked!" ''[runs off with their wallets]'' | :'''Snake''': "Whoah. I can't believe that worked!" ''[runs off with their wallets]'' | ||
:'''Homer''': ''[seeing what happened]'' "Hey ... that's not the wallet inspector." | :'''Homer''': ''[seeing what happened]'' "Hey ... that's not the wallet inspector." | ||
<hr width=50%/> | <hr width=50%/> | ||
| + | |||
{{Season 5 Q}} | {{Season 5 Q}} | ||
[[Category:Quotes]] | [[Category:Quotes]] | ||
Revision as of 14:06, May 25, 2010
- [One lazy afternoon at Springfield Nuclear Power Plant, Homer is asleep at his workstation and a dog is sleeping on the floor next to his chair. In his sleep, Homer slumps over, falling onto a button labeled "Plant Destruct" and triggering an alarm.]
- Computer Voice: "Core meltdown in ten seconds ... nine ... eight ..."
- [The dog wakes up, walks to the console, and pulls a lever. The alarm and the countdown stop.]
- Computer Voice: "Meltdown averted. Good boy!"
- [Later that same lazy afternoon, inpsectors from the NRC arrive at the power plant in their van. A woman inspector presses the buzzer at the front door.]
- Mr. Burns [on intercom]: "What? How dare you disturb me during nap time!"
- Woman Inspector: "We're from the Nuclear Regulatory Commission. This is a surprise test of worker competence."
- Mr. Burns: "There must be some mistake. We, uhh, we make cookies here. Mr. Burns' Old-Fashioned Good-Time Extra-Chewy-"
- Man Inspector: [cutting Burns off] "Get the axe."
- [Accompanied by his lawyers, Mr. Burns visits the Simpson home. Homer answers the door and screams at the sight of Burns and his lawyers.]
- Mr. Burns: "Hello, Simpson. My lawyers and I were in the neighborhood and thought we'd stop by."
- Marge: "Would you like to come in for tea and marshmallow squares?"
- [Burns and his lawyers confer.]
- Blue-Haired Lawyer': "Yes, he would."
- [On being accepted to college, Homer burns his high school diploma, then dances around while the fire spreads.]
- Homer: "I am so smart. I am so smart. I am so smart. S-M-R-T ... Uh, I mean S-M-A-R-T."
- [Now in college, Homer interrupts the Nuclear Physics Professor's lecture.]
- Homer: "Uhh, excuse me, Professor Brainiac, but I worked in a nuclear power plant for ten years and I think I know how a proton accelerator works."
- Professor: "Well, please come down and show us."
- Homer: "All right, I will."
- [The scene shifts to students screaming and fleeing the building while a green radiation glow fills the windows. Homer casually walks out just as two technicians in radiation suits are walking in.]
- Homer: [gesturing over shoulder] "In there, guys."
- Technicians: "Thanks, Homer."
- [Assigned supplemental tutoring, Homer meets the three nerds typing away on their computer keyboards.]
- Homer: "Hiya, gang."
- Gary: "Intruder alert. Intruder alert."
- Doug: "Stop the humanoid." [All three nerds laugh.]
- Homer: "Look, I'm supposed to get a physics tutor."
- Gary: "Well, you've come to the right place, then. If there's one thing we know, it is science."
- Doug: "And math."
- Benjamin: "And the worst of every Monty Python routine."
- Homer: "Ahh, the college road trip. What better way to spread beer-fueled mayhem."
- Bart: "So it's a prank you're looking for, is it? I'll give you your prank."
- [After catching the three nerds with a drunken and kidnapped Sir Oinks-A-Lot, Springfield University Dean Bobby Peterson has just been forced to expel them.]
- Dean Peterson: "I'm sorry, boys. I've never expelled anyone before, but that pig had some powerful friends."
- Richard Nixon: [angrily lecturing the nerds] "Oh, you'll pay. Don't think you won't pay!"
- [After their expulsion, the nerds say good-bye to Homer as they leave campus.]
- Benjamin: "Don't worry, Mr. Simpson. We can take care of ourselves."
- [As the nerds stand outside the college's front gate, Snake comes up to them.]
- Snake: "Uh, wallet inspector."
- Gary: "Oh, well. Here you go. [The nerds hand over their wallets.] I believe that's all in order."
- Snake: "Whoah. I can't believe that worked!" [runs off with their wallets]
- Homer: [seeing what happened] "Hey ... that's not the wallet inspector."
