View source for High School Low

== Dialogue ==
=== Pt. 1 ===
{{Table|
{{TH|After tapping on Chalmers' exclamation mark|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Chalmers Icon}}
{{TB|Look at this! The improved test scores have earned me a citation from Town Hall, "in recognition of exemplary performance."}}
{{Tapped Out Chalmers Icon}}
{{TB|You did all the work, Skinner, and I got all the credit! It's every bureaucrat's dream!}}
{{Tapped Out Skinner Icon|Happy}}
{{TB|And it's every toadying lickspittle's dream to make his boss's dream come true! Congratulations!}}
{{THT|'''Task:''' "Make Chalmers Visit Town Hall". The task takes place at the [[Town Hall]] and takes 8 hours.|colspan=2}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 2 ===
{{Table|
{{TH|After tapping on Quimby's exclamation mark|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Quimby Icon}}
{{TB|In recognition of your fine work turning around Springfield Elementary, Superintendent Chalmers, you are hereby promoted to Intendent of Springfield High School.}}
{{Tapped Out Chalmers Icon}}
{{TB|Thank you, Mr. Mayor. Two questions: one, how is going from "Superintendent" to "Intendent" a promotion; and two, are you aware that Intendent is a made-up word?}}
{{Tapped Out Quimby Icon}}
{{TB|I oughta be, I made it up!}}
{{Tapped Out Quimby Icon}}
{{TB|It means a "principal," but where the town doesn't have the money to hire a principal because of widespread corruption that is in no way the mayor's fault.}}
{{Tapped Out Chalmers Icon}}
{{TB|I got into education because I wanted to cut art budgets, not have contact with children! I won't last a day!}}
{{THT|'''Task:''' "Make Chalmers Intend Springfield High School". The task takes place at [[Springfield High School]] and takes 12 hours.|colspan=2}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 3 ===
{{Table|
{{TH|After tapping on Chalmers' exclamation mark|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Chalmers Icon|Worried}}
{{TB|Great Scot, Skinner! I had no idea the students of today had grown so soft. They're like pampered veal calves, but with an even less promising future.}}
{{Tapped Out Chalmers Icon}}
{{TB|Heads always buried in their smart phones and tablets... What could they possibly be doing?}}
{{Tapped Out Skinner Icon}}
{{TB|They generally use them to play time-wasting, potential-draining "freemium" video games.}}
{{Tapped Out Skinner Icon}}
{{TB|Or at least they did until that fateful day when the game they were playing asked them how old they were, and they all had to stop.}}
{{Tapped Out Chalmers Icon}}
{{TB|I won't stand for it! I'm going to turn these kids into rugged, won't-take-no-for-an-answer individualists if it kills me!}}
{{Tapped Out Chalmers Icon}}
{{TB|We'll start with mandatory, 5:00 AM calisthenics!}}
{{THT|'''Tasks:''' "Build the All Night Gym" and "Make Chalmers Lead Calisthenics". The task takes place at [[All Night Gym]] and takes 4 hours.|colspan=2}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 4 ===
{{Table|
{{TH|After tapping on Chalmers' exclamation mark|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Chalmers Icon}}
{{TB|Participation in my morning calisthenics program is at 0%.}}
{{Tapped Out Skinner Icon}}
{{TB|Look on the bright side. That's a lot higher than any of us expected sir.}}
{{Tapped Out Skinner Icon}}
{{TB|"Any of us" being people educated in Springfield public schools, who due to years of poor math instruction, don't understand how percentages work.}}
{{Tapped Out Chalmers Icon}}
{{TB|I've got to think of something. I always do my best thinking when I'm in the wilderness, honing my manly skills by surviving off the land.}}
{{THT|'''Tasks:''' "Place a Camp Fire" and "Make Chalmers Survive Off the Land". The task takes place at a [[Camp Fire]] and takes 24 hours.|colspan=2}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 5 ===
{{Table|
{{TH|After tapping on Chalmers' exclamation mark|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Chalmers Icon}}
{{TB|Did you realize, Seymour, that physical education in this school includes classes in "Badminton" and "Golf?"}}
{{Tapped Out Chalmers Icon}}
{{TB|No wonder these children are blobs of goo.}}
{{Tapped Out Skinner Icon}}
{{TB|The kids do enjoy badminton. They get to say "shuttlecock" a lot.}}
{{Tapped Out Chalmers Icon}}
{{TB|You're not supposed to enjoy sports}}
{{Tapped Out Chalmers Icon}}
{{TB|Sports should push you to the brink of death, leave you utterly spent, heaving desperate gasps between blood-speckled coughs, asking yourself "Why, God, why am I so weak?"}}
{{Tapped Out Chalmers Icon}}
{{TB|From now on, the only sport here is Greco-Roman wrestling! And matches don't stop until both students are crying!}}
{{THT|'''Task:''' "Make Chalmers Intend Springfield High School". The task takes place at [[Springfield High School]] and takes 12 hours.|colspan=2}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 6 ===
{{Table|
{{TH|After tapping on Chalmers' exclamation mark|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Chalmers Icon}}
{{TB|Starting today, all Springfield High School students will participate in the following classes:}}
{{Tapped Out Chalmers Icon}}
{{TB|Leadership, Mountaineering, Rough-Riding, Big Game Hunting, Celestial Navigation...}}
{{Tapped Out Chalmers Icon}}
{{TB|...Tourniquet Making, Foraging, Trust Busting, Manliness...}}
{{Tapped Out Chalmers Icon}}
{{TB|...Orienteering, Bare-Knuckle Brawling, Big Game Hunting II: Perspectives in Taxidermy, Chivalry...}}
{{Tapped Out Chalmers Icon}}
{{TB|...American Expansionism, Knife Sharpening, Knife Making, Knife Throwing, and Deep Jungle Exploration.}}
{{Tapped Out Chalmers Icon}}
{{TB|If you have any questions, keep them to yourselves. That is all!}}
{{THT|'''Task:''' "Make Chalmers Intend Springfield High School". The task takes place at [[Springfield High School]] and takes 12 hours.|colspan=2}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 7 ===
{{Table|
{{TH|After tapping on Chalmers' exclamation mark|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Chalmers Icon}}
{{TB|Groundskeeper Willie! I wonder if you'd have time to build a caber-toss field at Springfield High.}}
{{Tapped Out Willie Icon}}
{{TB|But the noble Scottish sport of caber tossing was banned in Springfield years ago, on account of its being incredibly hazardous and generally pointless.}}
{{Tapped Out Chalmers Icon}}
{{TB|We're bringing it back!}}
{{Tapped Out Chalmers Icon}}
{{TB|I'll not send a single student off to college who isn't adept at heaving a tree trunk end-over-end so that it lands as close to a "twelve o'clock" position as possible.}}
{{Tapped Out Chalmers Icon}}
{{TB|It would be un-American to do so!}}
{{Tapped Out Willie Icon}}
{{TB|I think I'm going to cry...}}
{{THT|'''Task:''' "Make Willie Build a Caber Toss Field". The task takes place at [[Springfield High School]] and takes 4 hours.|colspan=2}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 8 ===
{{Table|
{{TH|After tapping on Chalmers' exclamation mark|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Chalmers Icon}}
{{TB|Corpulent Anthony!}}
{{Tapped Out Fat Tony Icon}}
{{TB|Yes?}}
{{Tapped Out Chalmers Icon}}
{{TB|My students are cowards!}}
{{Tapped Out Chalmers Icon}}
{{TB|I want you to send some of your toughest enforcers into my school, and push them around until they learn to stand up for themselves.}}
{{Tapped Out Chalmers Icon}}
{{TB|You're welcome to keep any lunch money that the weaker ones fork over.}}
{{Tapped Out Fat Tony Icon}}
{{TB|What a shockingly wrong-headed educational initiative. However, no grown-up bully can say "no" to lunch money.}}
{{THT|'''Tasks:''' "Make Legs Intimidate Students" and "Make Louie Intimidate Students". The tasks take place at [[Springfield High School]] and take 24 hours.|colspan=2}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 9 ===
{{Table|
{{TH|After tapping on Chalmers' exclamation mark|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Chalmers Icon}}
{{TB|I've done it. I've molded these blubber-wrapped vidiots into capable young Americans.}}
{{Tapped Out Chalmers Icon}}
{{TB|Who are shockingly ignorant of literature, but still.}}
{{Tapped Out Chalmers Icon}}
{{TB|I think I should reward myself with a little "me time."}}
{{THT|'''Task:''' "Make Chalmers Lead Calisthenics". The task takes place at [[All Night Gym]] and takes 4 hours.|colspan=2}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 10 ===
{{Table|
{{TH|After tapping on Chalmers's exclamation mark|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Chalmers Icon}}
{{TB|I've got another invitation to Town Hall. Wonder what it could be for this time?}}
{{Tapped Out Chalmers Icon}}
{{TB|Maybe they've got a special commendation for me!}}
{{THT|'''Task:''' "Make Chalmers Visit Town Hall". The task takes place at the [[Town Hall]] and takes 8 hours.|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Quimby Icon}}
{{TB|You idiot! You've transformed this town's kids into self-reliant, confident individualists. What do you have to say for yourself?}}
{{Tapped Out Chalmers Icon}}
{{TB|Uh... you're welcome?}}
{{Tapped Out Quimby Icon}}
{{TB|No! You don't get it, do you?}}
{{Tapped Out Quimby Icon}}
{{TB|Do you think I've allowed this town's schools to fall apart by accident? That I didn't INTEND for every class to receive a poorer education than the one before?}}
{{Tapped Out Chalmers Icon}}
{{TB|But why would you do that?}}
{{Tapped Out Quimby Icon}}
{{TB|Because stupid people vote for incumbents!}}
{{Tapped Out Quimby Icon}}
{{TB|You start churning out free thinkers, me and every other incumbent in this declining country is doomed! THEN where will we all be?}}
{{Tapped Out Quimby Icon}}
{{TB|You are hereby demoted from Intendent to Superintendent. Now get out of my sight!}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}
}}

=== Pt. 11 ===
{{Table|
{{TH|After tapping on Chalmers's exclamation mark|colspan=2}}
{{Tapped Out Chalmers Icon}}
{{TB|I've failed. And relegated the children of Springfield to a life of ignorance and laziness.}}
{{Tapped Out Chalmers Icon}}
{{TB|It's times like this when the only thing that can cheer me up is partaking in an activity that is a playful pun on my beloved catchphrase.}}
{{THT|'''Tasks:''' "Place a Minnow Pond" and "Make Chalmers Catch Some "DINNERRRR?!"". The task take place at a [[Minnow Pond]] and takes 8 hours.|colspan=2}}
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|2500}} and {{XP|250}}|colspan=2}}
}}

{{Tapped Out Quests/Level 31-35}}