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Difference between revisions of "Pygmoelian/Quotes"

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{{TabQ
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{{TabQ}}
|episode=Pygmoelian
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{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Missionary: Impossible|Bart to the Future}}
}}
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:'''Homer''': Moe! The new Duff calendars are out! The ones with your picture.
+
{{qf|[[Duffman]]}} And now the local lug who fills your mug with the drug you chug—oh yeah! -- Give it up for Moe Szyslak!
:'''Moe''': Oh, boy! Move over, liquor license. (takes a framed license down from the wall)
 
:'''Lenny''': (reading license) Hey Moe, this license expired in 1973, and it's only good in Rhode Island … and it's signed by you.
 
:'''Moe''': Yeah, yeah, I've been meaning to get that updated, uh, for this state and, real.
 
----
 
:'''Duff Man''': And the winner… Moe Szyslak!
 
:'''Moe''': Aw, that's great; thank you, thanks a lot. Uh, I just want to say that it was an honor for me to compete against the Mick and the, uh, the chick with the rack there.
 
 
----
 
----
:'''Duff Man''': Duff beer is brewed from hops, barley, and sparkling clear mountain what?
+
{{qf|Duffman}} Duff beer is brewed from hops, barley and sparkling, clear, mountain... what?
:'''Titania''': (rings bell) Goat.
+
{{qf|[[Titania]]}} Goat?
 +
{{qf|Duffman}} Eh, close enough!
 +
:''[Homer takes a sip of Duff Beer.]''
 +
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} Ahhh, you can really taste the goat.
 
----
 
----
:'''Duff Man''': Are you ready for some Duff love?!
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{{qf|[[Marge]]}} Kids, would you like a balloon?
 +
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} Yeah, right, Mom. Then I'd like a rattle and a wowwipop. Actually, I would like a wowwipop.
 +
{{qf|[[Lisa]]}} Those balloons won't biodegrade for ten thousand years. And if Bart gets a wowwipop, I want a wowwipop.
 
----
 
----
:'''Homer''': Good work, everyone. We're sure to be first in line for "Duff Days."
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{{qf|Homer}} Moe, the new Duff calendars are out! The ones with your picture!
:'''Marge''': You set off the smoke alarm to rush us to a beer festival?
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{{qf|[[Moe]]}} Oh, boy! Move over liquor license.
:'''Homer''': (chuckles I know. I'm a character. Now a little beer music to get in the mood.
+
{{qf|[[Lenny]]}} Hey Moe, this license expired in 1973, and... and it's only good in [[Rhode Island]], and it's signed by you.
 +
{{qf|Moe}} Yeah, yeah, I've been meanin' to get that updated, uh, for this state, and real. Now let's see the poster boy for the new Moe-lennium.
 
----
 
----
:'''Moe''': Homer, did you hear that? She called me handsome! Me! It's like I've gone to heaven. Wait a minute…I died on the operating table didn't I?
+
{{qf|Moe}} Am I really that ugly?
:'''Homer''': He he, yeah but just for a minute. It's a funny story, I'll tell you some time.
+
{{qf|[[Carl]]}} Moe, it's all relative. Is Lenny really that dumb? Is Barney that drunk? Is Homer that lazy, bald and fat?
 +
{{qf|Moe}} Oh my God! It's worse than I thought.
 +
:''[Moe, Lenny, [[Barney]] and Homer all start sobbing.]''
 +
{{qf|Carl}} ''[to camera]'' See, this is why I don't talk much.
 
----
 
----
:'''Nurse''': Oh boy, what a mug!
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{{qf|Moe}} Aw, c'mon, look at me. I'm a gargoyle. What, with the cauliflower ear there, and the lizard lips...
:'''Surgeon''': Yea, you should see his genitals, would you like to see his genitals?
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{{qf|Carl}} The little rat eyes...
:'''Moe''': I'm awake here.
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{{qf|Homer}} Caveman brow...
:'''Surgeon''': Hey this isn't anesthetic it's new car smell.
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{{qf|Lenny}} Don't forget that fish snout.
 +
{{qf|Moe}} Okay, I get it. I ain't pleasant to look at.
 +
{{qf|Lenny}} Or listen to.
 +
{{qf|Carl}} Or be with.
 
----
 
----
:'''Moe''': It's hopeless, ain't it?
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{{qf|[[Helen Morehouse]]}} What were you thinking?
:'''Surgeon''': No, no, no, I love a challenge. First, we must install buttocks.
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{{qf|Director}} Well, you said you wanted "gritty". In other words, "ugly".
:'''Moe''': Nah, nah, nah - no luxury items. Just the face.
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{{qf|Helen Morehouse}} I wanted Maryanne on ''[[Gilligan's Island]]'' ugly, not Cornelius on the ''[[Planet of the Apes]]'' ugly. TV ugly, not ugly ugly.
:'''Surgeon''': (drawing on Moe's face with a marker) Okay, I'm going to move this up, this wider. Gonna lose that. I've never even seen one of these!
 
 
----
 
----
:'''Marge''': Kids, would you like a balloon?
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{{qf|[[Tad Winslow]]}} Cleo, Cleo, you've brought music to my heart, but this relationship can never work. I'm a doctor, and you're a 5,000-year-old mummy I brought back to life.
:'''Bart''': (sarcastic) Yeah, right, Mom. Then I'd like a rattle and a wowwypop. Actually, I would like a wowwypop.
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{{qf|[[Cleo]]}} But I love you, Tad. And together we can burn all the cities of the earth.
:'''Lisa''': Those balloons won't biodegrade for ten thousand years. And if Bart gets a wowwypop, I want a wowwypop.
+
{{qf|Tad Winslow}} It's against hospital regulations, dammit! And [[Clive Dancer]]'s just waitin' for me to slip up.
 
----
 
----
:'''Gay man''': Alright then, we need a symbol for our campaign. Something that says we're gay and republican.
+
{{qf|Carl}} So, Lenny, how are things workin' out with you and that girl next door?
(A pink balloon in the shape of an elephant flies through the window.)
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{{qf|Lenny}} Eh, it's over. She got a windowshade.
:'''Gay man''': A little bit on the nose, don't you think?
 
 
----
 
----
:'''Homer''': (to Lenny & Carl) OK, ready, guys? One...two...three...
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{{qf|Moe}} And what do you have to tell us, oh, Angel of the Future?
(All three lift up their shirts; Homer has "M" on his chest, Carl has "O" on his and Lenny has "O" too)
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{{qf|Homer}} ''[as an angel]'' You're going to die in a skydiving accident.
:'''Homer''': "MOO"!? Lenny, you were suppose to be "E"!
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{{qf|Moe}} How tragic. Tell me more.
:'''Carl''': See what happens when you skip rehearsal?
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{{qf|Homer}} [[Gabriella St. Farge|Gabriella]]'s baby shower will be invaded by terrorists. With sexy results.
 +
{{qf|Moe}} Ooh, that's unexpected. What else?
 +
{{qf|Homer}} Well, [[Sister Bernadette]] will leave the convent and start a softball team. With sexy results.
 
----
 
----
:'''Moe''': Am I really that ugly?
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{{qf|Moe}} Hey, there's one thing I don't get, though. When my face was crushed, why did it go back to my old face? I mean, shouldn't it have turned into some kind of third face that was different? Heh. Don't make no...
:'''Carl''': Well, it's all relative, Moe. Is Lenny really that dumb? Is Barney really that drunk? Is Homer really that fat, bald and stupid?
 
(Everyone but Carl begins to cry)
 
:'''Carl''' (to the camera): See, this is why I don't talk much.
 
:(At The end of the episode)
 
:'''Moe''':But what I don't get is why after the wall fell on me, why did it go back to my old face and not turn into a new, third face? Dosen't make any-
 
:(end credits begin to roll.)
 
  
{{Season 11 Q}}
+
{{Season 11|Q}}

Latest revision as of 09:04, June 7, 2022


Season 11 Episode Quotes
241 "Missionary: Impossible"
242
"Pygmoelian"
"Bart to the Future" 243


Duffman: And now the local lug who fills your mug with the drug you chug—oh yeah! -- Give it up for Moe Szyslak!

Duffman: Duff beer is brewed from hops, barley and sparkling, clear, mountain... what?
Titania: Goat?
Duffman: Eh, close enough!
[Homer takes a sip of Duff Beer.]
Homer: Ahhh, you can really taste the goat.

Marge: Kids, would you like a balloon?
Bart: Yeah, right, Mom. Then I'd like a rattle and a wowwipop. Actually, I would like a wowwipop.
Lisa: Those balloons won't biodegrade for ten thousand years. And if Bart gets a wowwipop, I want a wowwipop.

Homer: Moe, the new Duff calendars are out! The ones with your picture!
Moe: Oh, boy! Move over liquor license.
Lenny: Hey Moe, this license expired in 1973, and... and it's only good in Rhode Island, and it's signed by you.
Moe: Yeah, yeah, I've been meanin' to get that updated, uh, for this state, and real. Now let's see the poster boy for the new Moe-lennium.

Moe: Am I really that ugly?
Carl: Moe, it's all relative. Is Lenny really that dumb? Is Barney that drunk? Is Homer that lazy, bald and fat?
Moe: Oh my God! It's worse than I thought.
[Moe, Lenny, Barney and Homer all start sobbing.]
Carl: [to camera] See, this is why I don't talk much.

Moe: Aw, c'mon, look at me. I'm a gargoyle. What, with the cauliflower ear there, and the lizard lips...
Carl: The little rat eyes...
Homer: Caveman brow...
Lenny: Don't forget that fish snout.
Moe: Okay, I get it. I ain't pleasant to look at.
Lenny: Or listen to.
Carl: Or be with.

Helen Morehouse: What were you thinking?
Director: Well, you said you wanted "gritty". In other words, "ugly".
Helen Morehouse: I wanted Maryanne on Gilligan's Island ugly, not Cornelius on the Planet of the Apes ugly. TV ugly, not ugly ugly.

Tad Winslow: Cleo, Cleo, you've brought music to my heart, but this relationship can never work. I'm a doctor, and you're a 5,000-year-old mummy I brought back to life.
Cleo: But I love you, Tad. And together we can burn all the cities of the earth.
Tad Winslow: It's against hospital regulations, dammit! And Clive Dancer's just waitin' for me to slip up.

Carl: So, Lenny, how are things workin' out with you and that girl next door?
Lenny: Eh, it's over. She got a windowshade.

Moe: And what do you have to tell us, oh, Angel of the Future?
Homer: [as an angel] You're going to die in a skydiving accident.
Moe: How tragic. Tell me more.
Homer: Gabriella's baby shower will be invaded by terrorists. With sexy results.
Moe: Ooh, that's unexpected. What else?
Homer: Well, Sister Bernadette will leave the convent and start a softball team. With sexy results.

Moe: Hey, there's one thing I don't get, though. When my face was crushed, why did it go back to my old face? I mean, shouldn't it have turned into some kind of third face that was different? Heh. Don't make no...
Season 11 Quotes
Beyond Blunderdome Brother's Little Helper Guess Who's Coming to Criticize Dinner? Treehouse of Horror X E-I-E-I-(Annoyed Grunt) Hello Gutter, Hello Fadder Eight Misbehavin' Take My Wife, Sleaze Grift of the Magi Little Big Mom Faith Off The Mansion Family Saddlesore Galactica Alone Again, Natura-Diddily Missionary: Impossible Pygmoelian Bart to the Future Days of Wine and D'oh'ses Kill the Alligator and Run Last Tap Dance in Springfield It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Marge Behind the Laughter