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He Who Controls the Donuts, Controls the World/Quotes

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki



Waylon Smithers: Here you go, sir. The last of the baked goods.
Mr. Burns: Ah, yes. Food always tastes best when you've deprived someone else of it.

Dowager: Monty... I thought it was entertaining to mock our downsized employees...
Mr. Burns: Yes, but it's my party. I should be making the playful japes.

Mr. Burns: I suppose you're all wondering why I called you in here today.
Homer: Are you giving us all a pony?
Mr. Burns: Do you see any ponies?
Homer: Sometimes there are surprise ponies...

Marge: I'm going to miss Springfield.
Homer: You won't think that when you're bathing in maple syrup and eating back bacon, Marge. I keep thinking I'm forgetting something, though...
Marge: Maybe it's that we should say goodbye to the home that's held this family since it began...?
Homer: That's not it.
Smithers: Simpson, do you realize you've tied your father to the roof?
Homer: That's it.

Bart: If we're going to be illegal immigrants, then I'm changing my name. From now on, I'm Dre P. Wiener.
Lisa: Then I'm Emily Murphy, Canada's pioneer feminist and the first lady magistrate in the British Empire.
Homer: And I'll go by Bart Simpson.

Lisa: Measles, mumps, flu, and rubella shots on the same day?
Bart: Tomorrow is monkey pox, rabies, tetanus... Stupid Canadian medicine keeping us healthy.

Lisa: I mean, everything goes back to normal after a few days. We do this all the time.
Bart: Move to Alaska, win a million dollar lottery, it all goes back to normal when the adventure is over...
Lisa: ...Right?

Mr. Burns: Smithers! These fellows aren't practicing cannibals, are they?
Smithers: They might be. Let me look it up on Wikipedia.

Smithers: You're not here yo arrest Mr. Burns for hiring illegals, are you?
Chief Wiggum: We're not allowed to. The law only punishes foreigners, as far as I know.