Miracle on Evergreen Terrace/Quotes
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- Marge: (to Homer) I know you're used to getting hate mail, but I'm not!
- Kent: In my long career, I've seen some pretty shabby things. But this putrid fraud out stinks them all.
- Camera Man: Aaaaaaand cut.
- Kent: I just wanna thank you folks so much. This has turned out to be a really great story for me!
- Kent: Kent Brockman here for a follow-up with Springfield's favorite hard-luck family, the Simpsons. Folks, any words for the Christmas thief if he's watching?
- Homer: Eh, yes… Kent. Uh, hello… jerk. We may never find you, and we should probably all stop looking. But one thing's for sure… you do exist.
- Kent: Strong words, strong bewildering words.
- Homer: Is this car $15,000?
- Salesman: (rubs off the $12,000 price tag) It is now. And because of your loss, folks, I'll throw in the undercoating for two hund---No, four hundred and ninety bucks!
- Homer: What a deal! I'd be a sucker not to get it!
- Bart: I don't know about this, dad, shouldn't we give the money to charity or some--Oww!
- Salesman: Oh, I'm sorry, I jammed you with my pen.
- Bart: Oww! You're still doing it!
- Salesman: I know.
- Krusty: Fifteen thousand mazoolians? Holy shlamola! Whaddya gonna do with all that kablingy?
