The Simpsons: Tapped Out 4th July 2014 content update

The Simpsons: Tapped Out's fifty-fifty content update, also known as the 4th July 2014 content update was released on July 2, 2014.

Characters

Image Name Unlock message George Washington Giuseppe Granfinali

Buildings

Image Name Building time Costs Task Character(s) unlocked when built Level required Sit-N-Rotate 3d 10,000,000 Giuseppe's Workshop 24h 5,000 Giuseppe

Decorations

Decoration Picture Requires Other Lincoln Memorial 100,000 Fireworks Barge 80 American Flag Only at 4th July 2014 Pinwheel Firework Only at 4th July 2014 Box of Fireworks Only at 4th July 2014 Ye Olde Cherry Tree 180 Unlock George Washington

Gameplay

Failure to Launch Pt. 1

Apu, $100 worth of your most illegal poorly-made fireworks, please! With federal agent Rex Banner snooping around town, I can no longer play the fireworks game. This Independence Day, the only laws I plan on breaking relate to food safety and price gouging. The government can't take away our fireworks just because they're illegal! Last time I checked, a little document called the U.S. Constitution guaranteed us the right to break any law we want, whenever we feel like it. It most explicitly does not. Exactly! If we can't buy fireworks, then we'll just have to make them ourselves The player receives "Failure to Launch Pt. 1" which is to "Build Giuseppe's Workshop". It takes 24 hours.

Failure to Launch Pt. 2

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark Guiseppe Granfinali, it's your lucky day. Most characters as minor as you never get to see Springfield again. Although that's less and less true all the time. Anyway, we want you to build the most ear-rattling, eyeball-bludgeoning, nose-somehow-obliterating fireworks ever made. Would it help to have an extra set of hands? I got an “A” in second grade chemistry this year. Giuseppe Chemistry? What-a the hell-a is that? Wait... you make your living playing with gunpowder all your life, and you have no idea what it's made of? Giuseppe Ground-up demon, I always assume. Giuseppe Okay, find me some-a books on this "chemistry". Real old and out-of-date, like-a me. Finally, a need only a second-rate public school library can fulfill! Sixth-rate, actually. We just got our certification as a sixth-rate facility yesterday. We're very proud. The player receives "Failure to Launch Pt. 2" which is to "Build Springfield Elementary", "Make Lisa Read Outdated Chemistry Books", and "Make Giuseppe Stock Up on 'Fertilizer'". It takes 4 hours.

Failure to Launch Pt. 3

After tapping on Lisa's exclamation mark Mr. Granfinali, are we going to start making the fireworks anytime soon? Giuseppe What does it LOOK-a like I'm-a doing?! Sitting in a rocking chair having an animated argument with no one at all. Giuseppe That's-a how I create my fireworks! I talk it-a over with the ghosts of all-a my brothers. Giuseppe Once there were-a fifteen Granfinali boys. Now, only Giuseppe. All the others, gone. Blown up to God. Are you sure you want to solicit advice from ghosts that died in fireworks accidents? Giuseppe They tell-a Giuseppe what NOT to do. That is, when they are not screaming. Giuseppe Apparently, getting-a blown up hurts bad, even after you're dead. Very comforting. The player receives "Failure to Launch Pt. 3" which is to "Make Giuseppe Invent a New Firework" and "Make Lisa Mix Dangerous Chemicals". It takes 12 hours.

Failure to Launch Pt. 4

After tapping on Giuseppe's exclamation mark Giuseppe Mama Mia! I just-a got an inspection-a notice from Town Hall. Giuseppe When they find-a the ‘works, they gonna take-a them away! This time the government has gone too far. If I can bring a loaded AR-15 into a nursery school -- and thanks to the patriotism of dedicated nutcases, I can -- why can't I build explosives for pleasure? Giuseppe To be fair, fireworks and firearms... they are not-a the same. Well, they can both kill people. And THAT means I should be able to do whatever I want with them. I'll send out word that the government is trying to stop an honest citizen from playing with gunpowder. You watch what happens. Giuseppe Oh boy... The player receives "Failure to Launch Pt. 4" which is to "Make Giuseppe Host a Fireworks Support" and "Make Republicans Attend the Fireworks Support Rally (x5)". It takes 2 hours. Giuseppe The fireworks... they are-a gone! What's happened?! Giuseppe While we were demonstrating, somebody broke in and stole-a them. Giuseppe All our precious explode-o's, blammers, and fizzle-booms... gone!

Failure to Launch Pt. 5

After tapping on Lisa's exclamation mark Who would steal fireworks? Think, Lisa! Giuseppe Fear not. My family has an ancient, secret method for recovering lost fireworks. Giuseppe You see, the firework, she wants to be with others of her kind. Uh... that seems unlikely. But go on... Giuseppe We use the little firecracker to find-a the big firework. Giuseppe Take-a the firecracker. Light-a the firecracker. Throw-a the firecracker. Okay... Giuseppe If you hear a super-big KA-BOOM!, you have found-a the missing fireworks. If not, move on and-a try again. And you say this is an ancient family technique? Giuseppe My sisters were the fireworks finders in the family. But they are all dead now. Let me guess -- blown up by fireworks? Giuseppe Yes. What are the odds? I've got my firework finding gear. Let's go! The player receives "Failure to Launch Pt. 5" which is to "Make Giuseppe Search for Stolen Fireworks" and "Make Homer Search for Stolen Fireworks". It takes 24 hours.

Failure to Launch Pt. 6

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark The heck with it. If we don't have explosions and the real possibility of accidental death, the Fourth is ruined. I'm just going to go to work. Cheer up, Dad. There are a few cans of lighter fluid in the garage. We could light those on fire and see what happens! That'll make for a great America's Birthday! Nah. America stinks. We had a good run, but it's over. It's Ceylon's turn now. I hate to see you so down. Tell you what -- start a trash-can fire at work. Maybe it'll cause a runaway inferno, and you can salvage what's left of Independence Day. Thanks, sweetie. Yeah, work is usually good for an explosion or two. Thank God I'm such a lousy safety inspector. The player receives "Failure to Launch Pt. 5" which is to "Build Control Building" and "Make Homer "Safely" do his Job". It takes 16 hours. Woo-hoo! Work was great! Mr. Burns let me have a whole box of donuts if I promised not to tell anyone that he's been using stolen fireworks for fuel. !!! I know. It's ridiculous, right? A whole box of donuts just for me... Message Oh fine, here's a couple of donuts for you too, but don't you DARE tell anyone, or we'll take them back.

Failure to Launch Pt. 7

After tapping on Lisa's exclamation mark So! The man behind these mysterious thefts is none other than Mr. Burns! The very SAME Mr. Burns who is, without fail, behind absolutely every nefarious act in this town! Tell me about it. The whole time I'm thinking, “It's probably Mr. Burns, but we're not really doing THAT story again, are we?" And THEN I thought: “Well, if it DOES turn out to be Mr. Burns, for sure don't point out how it's ALWAYS Mr. Burns, because that just makes it seem EVEN WORSE." But then YOU pointed it out, so I pointed it out, and now it's all anyone can think about. Which is unfortunate. Giuseppe Well, if-a Mr. Burns is the bad guy, then I'm-a gonna have words with him right now! Ooh -- I love when Italians get mad. They can say a thousand swears with their hands alone! Watch and learn, Lis! The player receives "Failure to Launch Pt. 7" which is to "Make Giuseppe Confront Mr. Burns" and "Make Homer Butt into Giuseppe's Business". It takes 6 hours. Giuseppe Give-a me back my fireworks, evil skeleton! And have them turned into a weapon against me? No, I'm not keen to see rockets exploding on my front porch. We don't want to shoot them at you, silly! It's the sky we want to blow up. And the sky's no-good friend: clouds. I'm not talking about you. I simply can't afford to have these fine explodables end up in the hands of my family's mortal enemies. Hi, Homer! Hi, Lisa! Hi, Italian person! And hello to you, Burnsy. Or should I call you... Dead Man? Yes, everyone, it's true. The Spuckler clan and the Burns clan are a-feudin' agin. The Burnses have fought the Spucklers down through the generations. At times the feud merely simmers. But it always flares anew at the slightest provocation. r. Burns! I didn't realize you came from hillbilly stock. Oh, I don't. A mere three generations ago, the Spucklers were our rivals in Philadelphia high society. They were one of the richest, most erudite families in America. Ay-yup. Then my grand pappy lost his railroad, and pretty soon we's eatin' shoe leather and possum, and findin' we likes the taste! Our family fortunes may have diverged, but our hands are so steeped in Spuckler blood, and their hands in ours, that we will never truly live in peace. Sad but true. Well, I'm off. Kill ya later, Burns! Kill you later, Cletus! Tell Brandine I'll kill her later, too! Will do!

Failure to Launch Pt. 8

After tapping on Giuseppe's exclamation mark Giuseppe Well, all is not-a lost. I have a special surprise for you, Lisa. You don't mean... Giuseppe Yes! We are ready to show-a off our new firework! This is so exciting! Giuseppe You're-a telling me! I've never fired spent-a nuclear fuel rods into the atmosphere before! I wish I didn't know that's what was happening. The player receives "Failure to Launch Pt. 8" which is to "Make Giuseppe Show-Off a New Invention". It takes 1 hour.

Happy Independence Day!

When the player logs in on 4th July 2014 On this very special day, we'd like to take a few moments to humbly celebrate the greatest nation on earth! China! No, wait -- Germany! It's Germany, isn't it? ...Russia? Man this is hard. Greatest nation on earth... Sweden? Dad, I'm talking about America. What, this America? That's nuts -- by almost any measure we've fallen out of the top one-fifty. I mean look at education, income equality, percentage of population in prison, access to medical care... Dad, not now! You're bumming everyone out. I'm trying to be festive! Oh right. Sorry, honey. Go ahead and lie about how good America is. I'll back you all the way. *Cough* ... Alright: "To Americans everywhere, Happy Fourth of July!" Message Regardless of where you are, enjoy these 5 sweet complimentary donuts!

Washington Overtime

If the player not has George Washington at July 16th. Aw, I hate when holidays are over. All the Fourth of July stuff is gone. Not all of it -- George Washington is still around. Oh yeah. I remember we had a hard time getting rid of Abraham Lincoln last year, too. Is this guy serious? That's funny, because I could have SWORN I'm considered one of the greatest Presidents ever. But hey, maybe I'm wrong! Maybe having me around is a total drag. That seems to be Homer's opinion, doesn't it? No, sir. It's an honor to have you here. I didn't catch that? Could you repeat it? It's a tremendous honor to have you in Springfield, Mr. One-of-the-Top-Two-Presidents- Ever. Yeah. That's what I THOUGHT you said. And by the way, you're welcome for AMERICA STILL BEING A COUNTRY. Stupid Lincoln.

Declaration of Co-Dependence Pt. 1

After tapping on George Washington's exclamation mark George Washington "Previous to the execution of any official act of the President--" George Washington WHAT THE? WHERE DID PHILADELPHIA GO? WHAT LAND IS THIS AND WHY IS “QUICKY MART” SPELLED SO ATROCIOUSLY? Mr. Washington, you've been brought forward in time to the town of Springfield, in America. It seems to happen to ex-Presidents a lot. George Washington Forward in time? How old is America? Two hundred and forty-two years. George Washington You're kidding me, right? That's a joke? Because I told Jefferson I gave this country a decade. Tops. George Washington He was all: “Liberty is mankind's natural state!” And I was “Yada yada yada... ten years, chump. Bank on it.” George Washington Still, it's cool to be wrong! So, tell me about this town. Springfield is named after its founder, Jebediah Springfield. You would've known him as 'Hans Sprungfeld' in your time. George Washington SPRUNGFELD?! THAT GUY HAS A TOWN NAMED AFTER HIM? Oh, man. Where is he? George Washington He's going to be picking wooden teeth out of his neck for a month. The player receives "Declaration of Co-Dependence Pt. 1" which is to "Make Washington Hunt for Jebediah Springfield". It takes 24 hours. George Washington Okay, so Sprungfeld is dead. Everyone I know is dead. I get it. So now what? Professor Frink is trying to find a way to send you home. In the meantime... You might find you like it here. Our previous ex-President seems very happy. You want to keep it down, please? I can barely hear myself split rails here, people. George Washington Sheesh. That guy was President?! Number sixteen. George Washington He's so gangly-looking. Doesn't really scream “President,” you know? George Washington I guess people will elect anything.

Declaration of Co-Dependence Pt. 2

After tapping on George Washington's exclamation mark George Washington You know why America has a bicameral legislature, right? Uh... because it's a good way to keep power from consolidating in one body? George Washington Nope. Because when we were tossing around ideas for a new government-- just brain jamming, you know -- some idiot throws out the term “bicameral legislature.” George Washington And everybody just latches onto it. George Washington You know that thing where everyone's trying to sound hip and smart by using the hot new term? So annoying! George Washington Every time I heard the words, I couldn't decide whether to fall asleep or kill myself. George Washington Just totally nuts. I voted for the thing just to shut everyone up. This is incredible! Our scholars need to know this stuff. You've got to commit your memories to paper. George Washington Seriously, if I told you all the dirt I've got on John Adams, you'd flip your powdered wig. Dude was MESSED UP. The player receives "Declaration of Co-Dependence Pt. 2" which is to "Make Washington Write a Tell-All". It takes 4 hours.

Declaration of Co-Dependence Pt. 3

After tapping on Lisa's exclamation mark I hope you're not finding modern-day America too strange, Mr. Washington. George Washington Nah. George Washington It'll always be America, so long as people continue to live free, toss their excrement in the streets, and hate the British. Actually England is our closest ally now. George Washington ... George Washington You want to repeat that, little lady? Uh... we've had a lot of time to repair relations... George Washington “Repair relations”? With a country that is way more powerful than us? George Washington AND wants nothing more than to make us her colony again? Well, first of all, our military is a lot bigger than theirs now. George Washington Then we should attack immediately, before they have time to raise conscripts! George Washington Unless, of course, you'd prefer to see musky-carrying redcoats on every street corner in the nation. George Washington Summon my war council! The player receives "Declaration of Co-Dependence Pt. 3" which is to "Make Washington Plan an Invasion of Britain". It takes 8 hours.

Declaration of Co-Dependence Pt. 4

After tapping on George Washington's exclamation mark George Washington Okay, if our ships leave Boston tomorrow, we can reach England in two months. George Washington We'll rendezvous with Hessian mercenaries -- little girl, remind me to write a letter to Hessia, get that ball rolling. Hessian mercenaries aren't the military force they once were... George Washington We will then move inland and seize the royal saltpeter mines. George Washington I'd like to see King George try to fight a war without saltpeter. Heh-heh-heh... George Washington With a combined force of 20,000 we will easily subdue all of England. George Washington What do you think, Lisa Simpson? An elegant plan, no? You really think 20,000 men armed with muskets will do any good against tanks and machine guns and missiles? George Washington If we have enough horses, yes. George Washington I also plan on doubling gin rations, to boost morale. A drunk army is an effective army. George Washington All we need now is the men! The player receives "Declaration of Co-Dependence Pt. 4" which is to "Make Washington Recruit an Army". It takes 24 hours.

Declaration of Co-Dependence Pt. 5

After tapping on George Washington's exclamation mark George Washington Okay, I've been traveling door-to-door all day, and so far I've got ZERO recruits for my Grand Army of the Brit-Hating Republic. George Washington What's happened to the England-detesting nation of proud Limey-stranglers I love? Where's our fighting spirit? Seriously. The English are our friends. Very nice people. Good music. George Washington And the most annoying thing? George Washington Everyone's just falling all over themselves to thank me: “You're the Father of Our Country!” “Thank you, George Washington!” George Washington If you love me so much, get in the boat and help me stick a cannon ball in Big Ben. George Washington! Thank you for everything, sir. Thank you for your wisdom, and your strength, and for being everything a man can be. I mean EVERYTHING! George Washington Uh-huh. Look, that's very nice, but I'm just a guy. Happy to be of service. No need to go crazy, pal. The player receives "Declaration of Co-Dependence Pt. 5" which is to "Make Washington Reject Praise". It takes 6 hours.

Declaration of Co-Dependence Pt. 6

After tapping on George Washington's exclamation mark George Washington George Washington! It's really him! The greatest real-life superhero of all! Thanks for being the best Founding Father a country could ask for! We love you! George Washington Fine. That's very fine. Thank you. Go away. They're just trying to show their appreciation, sir. George Washington But they act like I'm some sort of saint. It's seriously creepy. George Washington Did you know there are guys on the Supreme Court who think laws should be based on what me and my friends were thinking about more than two centuries ago? George Washington We didn't have electricity. And trust me -- most of the time when we were writing constitutions and laws, we were thinking about what to order for dinner. George Washington I'm just a guy. And I'm really happy that America worked out so well. That rocks. But again, just a guy. Excuse me, Mr. Washington. I'm like your biggest fan ever, and-- George Washington I owned slaves. Did you know that? It stinks, but it's true. So please leave me alone. Well, you must have had a very good reason. George Washington THERE IS NO GOOD REASON FOR OWNING SLAVES. Augh! You people are beyond weird! The player receives "Declaration of Co-Dependence Pt. 6" which is to "Make Washington Flee Admirers". It takes 16 hours.

Ye Olde Cherry Tree

After tapping on George Washington's exclamation mark George Washington Okay, still think I'm perfect? Watch this. This'll prove I'm no saint. I'm going to cut down this cherry tree. George Washington Then, when you ask me if I cut it down, I AM GOING TO LIE ABOUT IT. There! Still think I'm all that? But, sir, everyone KNOWS George Washington can't tell a lie. George Washington WHAT GROWN MAN IS INCAPABLE OF LYING?! ARE YOU SERIOUS?! HERE, WATCH! The player receives "Ye Olde Cherry Tree" which is to "Make Washington Cut Down a Cherry Tree". It takes 12 hours.

See also

• The Simpsons: Tapped Out
• The Simpsons: Tapped Out content updates

References

The Simpsons: Tapped Out
Appearances • Buildings • Building and decoration groups • Characters • Character groups • Content Updates and gameplays • Daily Challenges • Dates • Decorations • Extras • Friend Points • Land Expansions • Promo Purchase Items • Quests • Quotes • References • The Store • Tap Ball Commercials/Trailers The Simpsons: Tapped Out Trailer • The Simpsons: Tapped Out Return Trailer • Treehouse of Horror Update • Holiday 2012 Spot • Get It On Google Play • Treehouse of Horror Update 2013 Trailer • Christmas 2013 Trailer • Preparing for War • Halloween Update Trailer 2014 • Homer and Tap Ball • Superheroes 2 Unreleased content Unreleased Content • Unused quests • Unused social quests • Memorabilia