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| Line 66: |
Line 66: |
| | | | |
| | == Quests == | | == Quests == |
| − | {{WIP|Cook879}} | + | {{Incomplete}} |
| | === Celeb-o-mania === | | === Celeb-o-mania === |
| | ==== Part 1 ==== | | ==== Part 1 ==== |
| Line 400: |
Line 400: |
| | {{TB|No time, old lady. I must take to the streets to track Mendoza vhile the trail is hot. First, to blend in. So I may gain the element of SURPRISE!}} | | {{TB|No time, old lady. I must take to the streets to track Mendoza vhile the trail is hot. First, to blend in. So I may gain the element of SURPRISE!}} |
| | {{THT|The task is ''Make McBain Go Undercover''.|colspan=2}} | | {{THT|The task is ''Make McBain Go Undercover''.|colspan=2}} |
| − | }}
| |
| − |
| |
| − | == OLD ==
| |
| − |
| |
| − | === McBain, Scene 1: Prologue ===
| |
| − | {{Table|
| |
| − | {{TBT|Wolfcastle}}
| |
| − | {{TB|Okay, I am ready to film my newest high-budget action blockbuster. It vill go beyond cutting edge 3D and into... the fourth "D".}}
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|Actually, the fourth dimension is impossible to apply to present day video viewing methods and should be considered a misnomer in this context.}}
| |
| − | {{TBT|Wolfcastle}}
| |
| − | {{TB|Impossible is just one more obstacle to crush...}}
| |
| − | {{TBT|McBain}}
| |
| − | {{TB|...for McBain!}}
| |
| − | {{THT|The task is ''Make McBain Shoot an Action Scene''|colspan=2}}
| |
| − | }}
| |
| − |
| |
| − | === McBain, Scene 2: Prologue ===
| |
| − | {{Table|
| |
| − | {{TBT|McBain}}
| |
| − | {{TB|Ack! My flawlessly developed body needs sustenance!}}
| |
| − | {{TBT|McBain}}
| |
| − | {{TB|No time to manufacture my usual ultra-protein-creatine-glutamine digestive cleanse, my hunger demands satisfaction.}}
| |
| − | {{TBT|McBain}}
| |
| − | {{TB|I vill accept this "Gulp n' Blow" rather than face starvation ... this time.}}
| |
| − | {{THT|The task is ''McBain Eat At Gulp 'N' Blow''|colspan=2}}
| |
| − | {{TBT|McBain}}
| |
| − | {{TB|Ack! The food, it sticks in my throat!}}
| |
| − | {{TBT|McBain}}
| |
| − | {{TB|gulp... *shudder yech!}}
| |
| − | {{TBT|McBain}}
| |
| − | {{TB|No need to vorry. The danger has passed. The only question vhich remains is…}}
| |
| − | {{TBT|McBain}}
| |
| − | {{TB|Who is responsible?}}
| |
| − | {{TBT|Squeaky-voiced teen}}
| |
| − | {{TB|Um, what are you talking about? You choked on a curly fry.}}
| |
| − | {{TBT|McBain}}
| |
| − | {{TB|Only one man vould make an attempt on my life in broad daylight like this.}}
| |
| − | {{TBT|McBain}}
| |
| − | {{TB|Mendoza!}}
| |
| − | }}
| |
| − |
| |
| − | === McBain, Scene 3: Big Explosions ===
| |
| − | {{Table|
| |
| − | {{TBT|McBain}}
| |
| − | {{TB|Mendoza and his army of Commie-Nazis have returned.}}
| |
| − | {{TBT|McBain}}
| |
| − | {{TB|Who else would dare to employ the murderous curly fry against me?}}
| |
| − | {{TBT|Squeaky-voiced teen}}
| |
| − | {{TB|Um, sir, I'm pretty sure that was just an accident.}}
| |
| − | {{TBT|McBain}}
| |
| − | {{TB|It was clearly an attempt on my esophagus by lowlife scum, random bystander. Someone has to stop them.}}
| |
| − | {{TBT|McBain}}
| |
| − | {{TB|And that someone... is me.}}
| |
| − | {{THT|The task is ''Make McBain Battle Commie Nazis''|colspan=2}}
| |
| − | }}
| |
| − |
| |
| − | === McBain, Scene 4: Bad Cop, Bad Cop ===
| |
| − | {{Table|
| |
| − | {{TBT|McBain}}
| |
| − | {{TB|The first thing I must do is find out who is backing Mendoza.}}
| |
| − | {{TBT|McBain}}
| |
| − | {{TB|But it vill take forever to beat confessions out of all of his men.}}
| |
| − | {{TBT|McBain}}
| |
| − | {{TB|I have to be villing to make that sacrifice.}}
| |
| − | {{THT|The task is ''Make McBain Visit the Penitentiary''|colspan=2}}
| |
| − | }}
| |
| − |
| |
| − | === McBain, Scene 5: Undercover Showdown ===
| |
| − | {{Table|
| |
| − | {{TBT|McBain}}
| |
| − | {{TB|Beating up prisoners didn't get me any clozer to Mendoza.}}
| |
| − | {{TBT|McBain}}
| |
| − | {{TB|I need to get to him from the inside.}}
| |
| − | {{TBT|McBain}}
| |
| − | {{TB|It is time for McBain to go undercover.}}
| |
| − | {{THT|The task is ''Make McBain Go Undercover''|colspan=2}}
| |
| − | {{TBT|McBain}}
| |
| − | {{TB|MENDOZA!!}}
| |
| − | {{TBT|McBain}}
| |
| − | {{TB|excessive pyrotechnics and gunfire*}}
| |
| − | {{TBT|McBain}}
| |
| − | {{TB|Like the slippery eel, he has escaped again, leaving the storyline open for an inevitable sequel.}}
| |
| − | {{TBT|McBain}}
| |
| − | {{TB|Ve vill meet again, Mendoza. Ve vill meet... again!}}
| |
| − | {{TBT|Director}}
| |
| − | {{TB|Hold camera. And ... CUT!! That's a wrap everyone. Great scene, Rainier.}}
| |
| − | {{TBT|Wolfcastle}}
| |
| − | {{TB|This may be the best McBain movie ever. I really feel I stretched my emotional range.}}
| |
| − | }}
| |
| − |
| |
| − | ===Food vs. Fear vs. Man Pt. 1===
| |
| − | {{Table|
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Kent Brockman Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|This is Kent Brockman, reporting live with the latest on Springfield's first reality TV show.}}
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Kent Brockman Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|Food vs. Fear vs. Man is edgy and new and not at all a derivative knock-off of some other popular show or shows.}}
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Homer Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|Ooh, edgy and new? Sign me up! I'm all about food and fear and m- ok, well, food and fear.}}
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Kent Brockman Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|The show will be hosted by none other than Springfield's own action icon, Rainier Wolfcastle!}}
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Kent Brockman Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|(Assuming someone takes it upon themselves to build that primadonna a five-star mansion.)}}
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Kent Brockman Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|Tune in tonight for more details on Eye on Springfield.}}
| |
| − | {{THT|The task is ''Build Wolfcastle's Mansion''|colspan=2}}
| |
| − | }}
| |
| − |
| |
| − | ===Food vs. Fear vs. Man Pt. 2===
| |
| − | {{Table|
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Kent Brockman Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|This new reality show could be a gold mine and there's one news reporter who's going to get in on the ground floor.}}
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Kent Brockman Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|I've already got tonight's sensationalist headline: Reality TV, Threat, Menace, or Atrocity?}}
| |
| − | {{THT|The task is ''Make Brockman Record Eye on Springfield''|colspan=2}}
| |
| − | }}
| |
| − | === Food vs. Fear vs. Man Pt. 3===
| |
| − | {{Table|
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Quimby Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|There's going to be a-uh lot of money floating around because of this, uh, reality TV show.}}
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Quimby Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|I'll have to, uh, make sure the production company is aware of all the new film tariffs I am now currently writing into law.}}
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Quimby Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|Springfield welcomes the entertainment with open palms, er, uh, I mean arms!}}
| |
| − | {{THT|The task is ''Make Quimby Collect Bribes''|colspan=2}}
| |
| − | }}
| |
| − | ===Food vs. Fear vs. Man Pt. 4===
| |
| − | {{Table|
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Homer Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|Ohhhh! Why does that Wolfcastle get to be host?}}
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Homer Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|This show was made for a blue collar everyman with questionable self-respect and a generous yet jolly waistline.}}
| |
| − | {{TBT|Wolfcastle}}
| |
| − | {{TB|Dream on, dough boy. People don't want someone so pathetic it makes them feel better about themselves by comparison.}}
| |
| − | {{TBT|Wolfcastle}}
| |
| − | {{TB|They want physical conditioning so perfect that it blinds them with shame. Let me show you.}}
| |
| − | {{THT|The task is ''Make Wolfcastle Exercise''|colspan=2}}
| |
| − | }}
| |
| − |
| |
| − | ===Food vs. Fear vs. Man Pt. 5===
| |
| − | {{Table|
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|Hey, Wolfcastle, just because you're a big time celebrity, don't go thinking you can do whatever you want.}}
| |
| − | {{TBT|Wolfcastle}}
| |
| − | {{TB|All film crew have been given full cooperation by local politicians, including minor human rights violations.}}
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|Oh, well, I guess there's not much I can do about that, then, is there?}}
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|But I'll have my eye on you. The second you step out of line I'll be on you like honey badger on a snake.}}
| |
| − | {{THT|The task is ''Make Chief Wiggum Nap in the S.W.A.T. Van''|colspan=2}}
| |
| − | }}
| |
| − |
| |
| − | ===Food vs. Fear vs. Man Pt. 6===
| |
| − | {{Table|
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Kent Brockman Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|... and that's the end of that story. This is Kent Brockman, reporting. Over to our next story.}}
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Kent Brockman Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|Wait, why is the teleprompter blank? We still have thirty-seven minutes of air to fill!}}
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Kent Brockman Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|You can't expect me to just... talk?! I'm a figurehead, I don't create content, I recite it.}}
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Kent Brockman Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|Get me an interview, someone, anyone, as long as they can get here before the end of the commercial break.}}
| |
| − | {{THT|The task is ''Make Wolfcastle Do a Talkshow''|colspan=2}}
| |
| − | }}
| |
| − |
| |
| − | ===Food vs. Fear vs. Man Pt. 7===
| |
| − | {{Table|
| |
| − | {{TBT|Wolfcastle}}
| |
| − | {{TB|Vhy is my TV show about loosers vith food phobias?}}
| |
| − | {{TBT|Wolfcastle}}
| |
| − | {{TB|Vhy are there no guns? No explosions? No mahssive, flexing pectorals?}}
| |
| − | {{TBT|Wolfcastle}}
| |
| − | {{TB|This pilot needs a hero. It needs . . . Volfcastle.}}
| |
| − | {{THT|The task is ''Make Wolfcastle Shoot Action Footage''|colspan=2}}
| |
| − | }}
| |
| − |
| |
| − | ===Food vs. Fear vs. Man Pt. 8===
| |
| − | {{Table|
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Martin Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|Hmmm, it's been two days since the last time I was subjected to the usual battery of wet willies, wedgies, and swirlies.}}
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Martin Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|I think having a real live action hero in town has actually caused a downturn in schoolyard oppression.}}
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Martin Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|Could this be the turning point I have been waiting for?}}
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Martin Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|I think you may be right, Martin, my boy. Today is the day you walk tall with your head held high!}}
| |
| − | {{THT|The task is ''Make Martin Try to be Cool''|colspan=2}}
| |
| − | }}
| |
| − |
| |
| − | ===Food vs. Fear vs. Man Pt. 9===
| |
| − | {{Table|
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Comic Book Guy Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|Good morning, internet. And what news, pray tell, do you have for me this fine afternoon?}}
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Comic Book Guy Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|What's this? "Generic Superhero Series Replaced By Local Reality TV Show"?}}
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Comic Book Guy Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|This is an outrage! "Super Lawyers, Bikers, and 1950's Businessmen" may be the worst kind of shallow, trend-pandering tripe…}}
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Comic Book Guy Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|...but it's OUR shallow, trend-pandering tripe! The rabid vocal minority must hear of this. To the blogosphere!}}
| |
| − | {{THT|The task is ''Make Comic Book Guy Visit the Java Server''|colspan=2}}
| |
| − | {{TBT|Wolfcastle}}
| |
| − | {{TB|The internet is on fire! Vhy do these pasty little nerds hate my show?}}
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Krusty Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|Lemme tell you something about modern showbusiness, pal.}}
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Krusty Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|You need an act with chutzpah! You need shock value.}}
| |
| − | {{TBT|Wolfcastle}}
| |
| − | {{TB|I'll give them shock value! I vill stomp their pitiful series of tubes into the ground!}}
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Krusty Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|Or... you could just convince some local dope to do something dangerous, disgusting, and/or degrading and catch it on film}}
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Krusty Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|Just make sure you get a signed release form before you go to air.}}
| |
| − | }}
| |
| − |
| |
| − | ===Food vs. Fear vs. Man Pt. 10===
| |
| − | {{Table|
| |
| − | {{TBT|Wolfcastle}}
| |
| − | {{TB|Vhere can I find a no-life looser to do something stupid for my show?}}
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Moe Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|Here at Moe's Tavern, we have a fine selection of morally bankrupt and destitute slobs. Take your pick.}}
| |
| − | {{TBT|Wolfcastle}}
| |
| − | {{TB|I need someone who vill eat an alarming amount of something disgusting.}}
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Homer Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|Ooh! Me! Me, me, me! Pick me!}}
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Moe Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|Uh-un, Homer, no more pickled eggs and brine for you until you pay for the last three vats you inhaled.}}
| |
| − | {{TBT|Wolfcastle}}
| |
| − | {{TB|I choose the little man.}}
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Smithers Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|Me? I just dropped in for an appletini. I don't even like pickles.}}
| |
| − | {{THT|The task is ''Make Wolfcastle Host Live Show at Moe's'' and ''Make Smithers Eat Pickled Eggs and Brine at Moe's''|colspan=2}}
| |
| − | }}
| |
| − |
| |
| − | ===Food vs. Fear vs. Man Pt. 11===
| |
| − | {{Table|
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Homer Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|Dad, I need a favor.}}
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Grampa Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|Whaaa-!}}
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Homer Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|I gotta get on Wolfcastle's show. It's been my lifelong dream for almost a day now!}}
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Grampa Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|Wolf?! Where?!}}
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Homer Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|Never mind. Just keep an eye on the kids for me while I go find Mr. Wolfcastle, okay?}}
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Grampa Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|Wolves?}}
| |
| − | {{THT|The task is ''Make Grampa Babysit Bart and Lisa''|colspan=2}}
| |
| − | }}
| |
| − |
| |
| − | ===Food vs. Fear vs. Man Pt. 12===
| |
| − | {{Table|
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Homer Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|Please, Mr. Wolfcastle, please let me be on your show. I'm sure I can do something stupid and dangerous enough to impress your viewers.}}
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Homer Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|Just gimme a chance!}}
| |
| − | {{TBT|Wolfcastle}}
| |
| − | {{TB|I admire your dedication. Your family vill be proud. Please sign this release form.}}
| |
| − | {{THT|The task is ''Make Wolfcastle Host Live Show at Police Station'' and ''Make Homer Eat The Chief's Famous Guatemalan Insanity Pepper Chili''|colspan=2}}
| |
| − | }}
| |
| − |
| |
| − | ===Food vs. Fear vs. Man Pt. 13===
| |
| − | {{Table|
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|Look at all these people making fools of themselves just to get on TV. It's embarrassing.}}
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|Besides, how could I compete with a guy who can eat a Guatamalan Insanity Pepper?}}
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Krabappel Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|You want to see some disgusting things? Any second-grader in my class could redefine the internet with the right editing and a backbeat.}}
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|Yeah, kids really are disgusting, aren't they? Hey Ralphie, come over here for a second. Daddy needs your help with something.}}
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|How would you like to be on TV?}}
| |
| − | {{THT|The task is ''Make Ralph Eat a Crayon Sandwich''|colspan=2}}
| |
| − | }}
| |
| − |
| |
| − | ===Food vs. Fear vs. Man Pt. 14===
| |
| − | {{Table|
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Comic Book Guy Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|Wolfcastle's reality show keeps getting worse and worse, but people can't get enough of its cheap stunts and schadenfreude.}}
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Comic Book Guy Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|It is my nerd-given duty to defend shoddy, indie productions from the evils of mainstream corruption.}}
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Comic Book Guy Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|I may have never seen an episode of "Super Lawyers, Bikers, and 1950's Businessmen", but it deserves to keep its timeslot.}}
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Comic Book Guy Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|You've survived my scathing review blog, Mr. Wolfcastle, but let's see how you deal with... a Pointless Online Petition!}}
| |
| − | {{THT|The task is ''Make Comic Book Guy Visit the Java Server''|colspan=2}}
| |
| − | }}
| |
| − |
| |
| − | ===Food vs. Fear vs. Man Pt. 15===
| |
| − | {{Table|
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Kent Brockman Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|Hey, Wolfcastle, your show is in the news again. Someone's started an online petition to boycott.}}
| |
| − | {{TBT|Wolfcastle}}
| |
| − | {{TB|This is outrageous! How dare this fat nerdlinger insult my TV show?!}}
| |
| − | {{TBT|Wolfcastle}}
| |
| − | {{TB|I challenge you, fat man, to appear on my show! Or face humiliation before the internet masses!}}
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Kent Brockman Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|Uh, Rainier, you know he can't hear you yelling at the screen right?}}
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Comic Book Guy Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|Ughn. I felt a disturbance in the force. As if millions of online voices sighed in apathy and suddenly clicked away.}}
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Comic Book Guy Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|A challenge has been issued. How can I ignore it without losing the respect of the forumites?}}
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Comic Book Guy Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|Well played, Wolfcastle, but I will have the last laugh. To the Krusty Burger!}}
| |
| − | {{THT|The task is ''Make Wolfcastle Host Live Show at Krusty Burger'' and ''Make Comic Book Guy Accept the Challenge at Krusty Burger''|colspan=2}}
| |
| − | }}
| |
| − |
| |
| − | ===Food vs. Fear vs. Man Pt. 16===
| |
| − | {{Table|
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Marge Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|This new reality show is just terrible. How can they justify exploiting people for cheap ratings like this?}}
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Krabappel Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|That's people for you, stab you in the back as soon as they think they can make a few bucks off you.}}
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Marge Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|Someone needs to stand up for these people. Some of them are children!}}
| |
| − | {{Tapped Out Krabappel Icon}}
| |
| − | {{TB|Yes, and that child thing was my idea. Equal pay for equal input, I say!}}
| |
| − | {{THT|The task is ''Make Marge Protest... Something''|colspan=2}}
| |
| − | }}
| |
| − |
| |
| − |
| |
| − | ===Food vs. Fear vs. Man Pt. 15===
| |
| − | {{Table|
| |
| − | {{TBT|Wolfcastle}}
| |
| − | {{TB|"Dear Mr. Volfcastle, Due to rock bottom ratings and minor public outcry, 'Food vs. Fear vs. Man' vill be taken off the air."}}
| |
| − | {{TBT|Wolfcastle}}
| |
| − | {{TB|This is a tragedy! For the first time ever, the great Rainier Volfcastle is... unemployed.}}
| |
| − | {{TBT|Wolfcastle}}
| |
| − | {{TB|I guess I must retire to my 15,000 square foot mansion and find comfort by counting my contractual earnings in the company of many beautiful ladies.}}
| |
| − | {{TBT|Wolfcastle}}
| |
| − | {{TB|sigh}}
| |
| − | {{THT|The task is ''Make Wolfcastle Relax in his Mansion''|colspan=2}}
| |
| − | }}
| |
| − |
| |
| − |
| |
| − | ===Up Late With McBain===
| |
| − | {{Table|
| |
| − | {{TBT|McBain}}
| |
| − | {{TB|No one is promoting my new movie. I vill revive my old talk show and show them how it is done.}}
| |
| − | {{TBT|McBain}}
| |
| − | {{TB|The new "Up Late with McBain" vill change the landscape of late night TV forever.}}
| |
| − | {{TBT|McBain}}
| |
| − | {{TB|I'll use the set of McBain: Let's Get Silly and leverage my background in zany comedy.}}
| |
| − | {{TBT|McBain}}
| |
| − | {{TB|If Hollywood has taught me anything, it's that shoehorned comedy makes everything better.}}
| |
| − | {{TBT|McBain}}
| |
| − | {{TB|...that's the joke.}}
| |
| − | {{THT|The task is ''Make McBain Host Up Late With McBain''|colspan=2}}
| |
| | }} | | }} |
| | | | |
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