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Free Range/Quotes

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki



Jimbo Jones: [scoffing] This game'd be cool if they didn't make the controls so weak!
Dolph Shapiro: Maybe you should file a complaint with the American Noob Society.
Jimbo: Maybe I should file you!

Carol Jones: Jimbo, do you and your friend like wieners?
[Dolph snickers.]
Jimbo: Yeah, Mom. And if you wanna call 'em hot dogs next time, that's cool, too.
Carol Jones: Oh, the co-op keeps sending me too many eggs. We'll never eat all these eggs. Can you ask Dolph if his mom can use a huge amount of eggs?
[A crafty look appears on Jimbo's face.]
Jimbo: Hmmm, yeah, he—[quickly corrects himself]—I mean, she can definitely use eggs.

Principal Skinner: [exiting the men's room] I don't like it, Apu.
Apu: Be that as it may, our restrooms are fully cleaned twice a week.
Skinner: No, no, I mean this article about the decrease in vandalism. It feels like the calm before the proverbial storm.
Apu: Perhaps our brand new Mocha Squishee Latte could brighten your mood.
Skinner: I'm afraid not, my friend. I must stay vigilant and deny myself the creature comforts of a false sense of security. I'll ... uh ... stick with my usual Squishee-ccino if you don't mind.
Apu: It would be my pleasure.

Skinner: [exiting the store and confronting Bart] Bart Simpson! You aren't up to any mischief with that banana peel, are you?
Bart: No, sir, sir! [thinking quickly] Uh ... this is where the trash can used to be ... guess they moved it.
Skinner: See that you find the appropriate receptacle, young man!
[Jimbo calls out to Bart from the roof of the store.]
Jimbo: Hey! I need some ideas. If you help me out, I'll tell you the top secret bullies' method of climbing up on this roof.
Bart: [instantly appearing on the roof] You mean like this?

Bart: Whatcha doing up here, man?
Jimbo: Eh, I come up here when I need to think.
Bart: How often is that?
Jimbo: Look ... Me, Dolph and Kearney are sitting on this mother lode of eggs. And we've got ... What's the delinquent's equivalent of writer's block?
Bart: Delinquentitis?
Jimbo: Yeah! And it's tearing us apart. We couldn't agree on one plan, so we had a big falling out. Nobody's vandalized school property in weeks.
Bart: [pleased and surprised] So you want my help? [thinks quickly] Well, with that many eggs you just gotta think extra large. So ... Step One: Hijack the Duff Blimp. Step Two: Egg all of Springfield. Voila!
Jimbo: [scoffs] That was, like, the first thing we thought of. I'll write that down just so I can laugh at it later. Guess ya can't trust a little kid to come up with quality deviltry.
Bart: [crestfallen] Aww ...

Martin Prince: It's so refreshing to walk down the steet without being harangued or bullied. The sun is out, birds are chirping ... [puzzled] ... The Duff Beer Blimp is hovering above me ... ?
[Three eggs come down from the blimp and hit Martin. Aboard the blimp are Dolph, Jimbo and Kearney.]
Jimbo: [using a megaphone] Hey, kid! You just got egged!
Martin: [angry] I know!!

Dolph: This is really special, you guys.
Jimbo: Yeah, I'd say this might actually be the sweetest gondola I've ever ridden in.

Helen Lovejoy: So today, Mothers Against Any And All Antisocial Delinquency would like to acknowledge the following person for his efforts to curb vandalism ... Chief Wiggum!
Chief Wiggum: Omigosh, I won! Lou, I won!
Lou: Nice work, Chief.
Helen: Here's the award. It's a gold-plated bar chart showing the decrease in vandalism over the last month.
Chief Wiggum: [taking the award from Helen] Well, first of all, I'd like to thank --
[Wiggum's acceptance speech is interrupted by a single egg coming down from the sky, scoring a direct hit on the award.]
Agnes Skinner: [pointing skyward] Vandalism!
Chief Wiggum: Wait ... [wiping the egg off of the award with his sleeve] Nope! The award clearly shows that vandalism is still down!

Kearney Zzyzwicz: Cheezit, the cops! Hard starboard!
Jimbo: [at controls] Speak English!
Dolph: Turn right, Einstein!
Jimbo: [grumbling] Why'd they make these controls so weak?

Jimbo: Hey, Simpson! Nice dolls!
[Jimbo, Dolph and Kearney each throw an egg. All three eggs hit Bart.]
Milhouse: [indignantly, yelling back at the bullies] They're called action figures! [to Bart] Wow! What are the odds of that happening? [notices Bart is grinning from ear to ear] Hey, what are you smiling about?
Bart: [in awe] They used my idea!