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| − | {{TabQ
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| − | |episode=Who_Shot_Mr._Burns%3F_(Part_One)
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| − | }}
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| − | :'''Superintendent Chalmers''': Well Skinner, you have done it this time. Sitting atop an oil reserve!
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| − | :'''Seymour Skinner''': Any idea what to do with the money.
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| − | :'''Superintendent Chalmers''': Well, we could give every student a full college scholarship.
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| − | :''Both laugh.''
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| − | :'''Seymour Skinner''': No seriously, something that will actually be put to use.
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| − | <hr width=50%/>
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| − | :'''[[Abe Simpson|Grampa]]''': ''(noticing the dog with a cone on walking past)'' Hey, the lamp's runnin' away.
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| − | :'''[[Bart]]''': That's my dog, man.
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| − | :'''Grampa''': So long lamp.
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| − | :'''[[Groundskeeper Willie|Willie]]''': ''(ripping off his shirt)'' "I'LL KILL THAT [[Mr. Burns|MR. BURNS]]!!!! And uhhh, wound ... that [[Waylon Smithers|Mr. Smithers]].
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| − | :'''EPA Man''': As long as Mr. Burns is pumping oil, this bar is closed.
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| − | :'''[[Moe]]''': Damn Burns! Just let me get one thing.
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| − | :''(Moe pulls [[Sawed-off shotgun|his makeshift shotgun]] from behind the bar and cocks it)''
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| − | :'''Barney:''' Me too! ''(pulls out a .38 revolver)'' Ahh ... now ''there's'' the inflated sense of self-esteem!
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| − | :'''[[Lunchlady Doris]]''': The cafeteria staff is complaining about mice in the kitchen. I want to hire a new staff! (This was approved)
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| − | :'''Bart''': Skinner said my idea was 'unplausible'.
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| − | :'''[[Lisa]]''': Bart, even if they were able to resurrect [[wikipedia:The_Three_Stooges|The Three Stooges]], I doubt they'd want to hang out with you.
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| − | :'''Bart''': Yeah, they probably got families or somethin'.
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| − | :'''[[Homer]]''': although <nowiki>[</nowiki>Mr. Burns<nowiki>]</nowiki> did send us this thank you card.
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| − | :'''Lisa'''': ''(reading aloud)'' Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie. Dad this doesn't have your name on it.
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| − | :'''Homer''': ''(angry monotone voice)'' Kids, could you step outside for a sec?
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| − | :''(Bart and Lisa run out of the room)''
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| − | :''(Homer takes a deep breath, then shouts)'' '''FU-'''
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| − | :''(Homer's dirty word is cut off by a pipe organ. Shocked neighbors look in the Simpsons house)''
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| − | :'''[[Ned Flanders]]''': Dear Lord, that's the loudest profanity I ever heard!
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| − | :'''Smithers''': Well sir, you have certainly vanquished your foes. Are you happy?
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| − | :'''Mr. Burns''': Not while there is a cheap, plentiful source of energy that is not supplied by me. But now I will deal with you?
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| − | :'''Smithers''': What are you talking about?
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| − | :'''Mr. Burns''': Since the dawn of time, man has yearned to destroy the sun. I will do the next best thing; block it out!
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| − | :''Mr. Burns shows a minature version of the sunblocker machine that darkens a scale model of Springfield.''
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| − | :'''Smithers''': Sir, this is insane! Darkness is a boon for muggers; owls will bother us with incessant hooting; the town's sundial will be rendered useless. I want no part of this!
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| − | :'''Mr. Burns''': Smithers! There has been a sharp decline in the quality and quantity of your toadying! You are to apologize right now!
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| − | :''Waylon Smithers does an action unheard of; he resists Burns.''
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| − | :'''Smithers''': Ulp! No! No Monty! Not until you come back from the brink of insanity!
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| − | :'''Mr. Burns''': That does it Smithers! You are fired!
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| − | {{Season 6 Q}}
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| | [[Category:Quotes]] | | [[Category:Quotes]] |
