Who Needs the Kwik-E-Mart?

"Who Needs the Kwik-E-Mart?"

Song Information Singers: Hank Azaria Dan Castellaneta Julie Kavner Nancy Cartwright Yeardley Smith Characters: Apu Nahasapeemapetilon Homer Simpson Marge Simpson Bart Simpson Lisa Simpson Length: 1:56 Writer(s): Music: Alf Clausen Lyrics: Greg Daniels Album: Songs in the Key of Springfield Appearance(s): "Homer and Apu"

"Who Needs the Kwik-E-Mart?" is a song sung by Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, Marge, Lisa, Bart, and Homer Simpson.

Lyrics

Who Needs the Kwik-E-Mart?

Lisa:

I think what my father's saying is you're like a member of the family now.

Apu:

I feel that way, too. You see...

Whether igloo, hut, or lean-to,

Or a geodesic dome,

There's no structure I have been to

Which I'd rather call my home.

When I first arrived, you were all such jerks,

But now I've come to loooooooove,

Your quirks.

Maggie, with her eyes so bright,

Marge with hair by Frank Lloyd Wright,

Lisa can philosophize,

Bart's adept at spinning lies.

Homer's a delightful fella.

Sorry 'bout the salmonella.

Homer:

Heh-heh. That's okay.

Apu:

Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?

Now here's the tricky part,

Oh, won't you rhyme with me?

Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?

Marge:

Their floors are sticky-mart!

Lisa:

They make Dad sick-e-mart!

Bart:

Let's hurl a brick-e-mart!

Homer:

The Kwik-E-Mart is real—

D'oh!

All:

Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?

Apu:

Not meeeeeeeeeee!

The Simpsons (simultaneously):

Forget the Kwik-E-Mart!

Good-bye to Kwik-E-Mart!

Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?

Apu:

Not me!

Who Needs the Kwik-E-Mart? (Reprise)

Homer:

(sighs) Everything really wrapped up nicely. Hmm, much quicker than usual.

Marge:

I guess we've learned that happiness is wherever you find it.

Homer:

And we all found happiness. Every one of us.

(Apu is heard sobbing)

Hey, what's that sound?

Apu (sadly):

Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?

I do.

Homer:

Hey, he's not happy at all. He lied to us through song! I hate when people do that!

Behind the Laughter

The music was written by Alf Clausen, the lyrics by Greg Daniels. It is also included on the album Songs in the Key of Springfield. The song was nominated for an Emmy award for Outstanding Individual Achievement in Music and Lyrics. It lost to "The Song Remembers When" from the TV special Tricia Yearwood: The Song Remembers When.

Appearances

• Episode – "Homer and Apu"
• Episode – "All Singing, All Dancing"
• Album – Songs in the Key of Springfield