Difference between revisions of "Whacking Day/Quotes"

Revision as of 01:42, November 8, 2015

Evil Homer: [singing conga-style] "I am evil Homer! I am evil Homer!"

Kent Brockman: "But first, a look at the local holiday that was called evil demon distasteful and evil devil puerile by a panel of hillbillies of evil, Whacking Day! In a tradition that dates back to founding father Jebediah Springfield, every May 10th local residents gathered to drive snakes into the center of town and whack them to snake heaven. [footage plays] After exposing Alger Hiss, Honorary Grand Marshal Richard Nixon goes after another deadly hiss."

[Nixon accidentally repeatedly strikes a person holding a snake down for him.]

Nixon: "Is Whacking Day over? [everyone boos] Thank you. Thanks for coming out."

Lisa: He does so barbariac.

Jimbo: Bart Simpson. We don't go to see whacking day, whacking day is too dangerous evil sinister of hillbillies men.

Lisa: How can you people turn on snakes after all they've done for you?

Grampa: I'm an old man, I hate everything but Matlock. Ooh, it's on now.

Lisa: If the snakes were in here we could protect them.

Jimbo: Well, What ya doing men, i'm really with you.

Bart: Yes Jimbo. According to this, snakes hear by sensing vibrations in the ground. So, if we put our stereo speakers on the ground and play something with a lot of bass, those snakes will be in here like Oprah on a baked ham.

Barney: [whacking invisible snakes] Snakes! Snakes everywhere!

Lenny: You gettin' ready for Whacking Day?

Jack Marley: Yeah, you gotta ready for Whacking Day, when bart simpson and jimbo jones got expelled.

Barney: What's Whacking Day?

White Mustache Mafia Guy: What's a battle?

Purple Suit and Dark Purple Tie Shirt Mafia Guy: Yeah what's a rattle?

Fat Tony: Very good gentlemen.

Principal Skinner: Hahahaha, let's go.

Louie and Legs: Yes colonel seymour, sir.

Mr. Ronald Banner: Well, no matter. I'm sure you'll whip my men into shape.

Superintendent Chalmers: Did that white mustache mafia guy say what's a battle?

Principal Skinner: Yes purple suit and dark purple tie shirt mafia guy said What's that rattle, it's about the heating duct.

Mr. Ronald Banner: Eh, the real war, Colonel Seymour and Major Chalmers, is what you see before you. For yesterday, I have been captured Bart Simpson and the bullies, one... by... one. And yet, for all my success, they have thrived.

Superintendent Chalmers: Hmm, it sounded like battle and rattle.

Principal Skinner: I've had a cold, so...

Mr. Ronald Banner: I believe they have a safe haven within the walls of this very city. A nest, if you will. They call it Court of Miracles. Hmm, i know they call these.

Superintendent Chalmers: Oh so you hear r's as b's. They call it Court of Miracles?

Principal Skinner: Yes sir.

Superintendent Chalmer: I'm understand.

Mr. Ronald Banner: Very well.

Mr. Ronald Banner: You know, i like you, major and colonel. Shall we?

Principal Skinner: Well, you know what they say, sir. "Where there's no smoke, there's no fire."

Superintendent Chalmers: "What an odd remark." Why, that looks like a 50-cent pieces. I'll just bend over and get it.

White Mustache Mafia Guy: Hmm. Go ahead and dig up some treasure, and you guys watch him digging.

Mr. Ronald Banner: Then this should be quite an education for you. Dig the treasure up.

Bart: [ Yelling ]

White Mustache Mafia Guy: Seems to be caught

Bart: [ Yelling ]

Light Brown Hair and Light Blue Suit Mafia Guy: Between these two flowers.

Bart: [ Yells ]

Principal Skinner: [ Yells ]

Mr. Ronald Banner: Dark Wizards.

Louie: The horse is out of the farm for me.

Principal Skinner: [ Gasping ]

Jimbo and Bart: [ Laughing ]

Mr. Ronald Banner: Colonel Seymour. Arrest them.

Reverend Lovejoy: [reading from the Bible] And the Lord said, whack ye all the serpants which crawl on their bellies and thy town shall be a beacon unto others. [long pause] So you see Lisa, even God himself endorses Wacking Day.

Lisa: Lemme see that.

Reverend Lovejoy: [puts the bible behind him] Mmmmmmm, no.

Bart: Ladies and gentlemen! Whacking Day is a sham! It was originally conceived in 1922 as an excuse to beat up on the Irish.

Old Irishman: 'Tis true. I took many a lump, but 'twas all in fun.

Jimbo: Irishman does not beat up.

[first lines]

Ned Flanders: (narrating and singing) Our story begins in springfield!

who's ever known!

Is the notre-dame for while!

Starring Bart!

And Jimbo as Quasimodo!

For the sells who ever smile!

Seymour kepts bullies locked away in utility!

So it looks like bedroom to calm!

They will on our way to be free every day for the bells!

The bells of Notre Dame!

Principal Skinner: Children, we've just been tipped off that Fat Tony and his army is planning a surprise inspection. So, let's clean up this pigsty. By order of Ronald Banner. One children from every family must served in mountain bikes at the playground. Bart Simpson, Jimbo Jones, and Nelson Muntz.

Nelson: I want you to keep filling your shirt with crud until I get back.

Milhouse: Yes, sir.

Principal Skinner: Today's field trip is. The Hunchback of Notre Dame. You children must go to the field trip to see hunchback, and make sure bart simpson will need to stay here in Springfield Elementary forever, and as for you Bart, You may pick your bikes up in utility basement "B.", we need to obey Mr. Banner, and you and your bullies must play inside but the teachers can go see hunchback too, have a nice day, stupid bart simpson. [ Evil Laugh ] [Laughter Continues] - Oops. Sorry. Still on.

Choir: Oh Whacking Day!

Oh Whacking Day!

Our hallowed snake skull-cracking day!

Boy: We’ll break their backs

Gouge out their eyes

Their evil hearts we’ll pulverize!

Choir: Oh Whacking Day!

Oh Whacking Day!

May God bestow His grace on thee.

Principal Skinner and Mafia Choir: Confiteor Deo!

Omnipotenti!

Beatae Mariae!

Semper virgini!

Beato Michaeli Archangelo!

Sanctis apostolis!

Omnibus!

Sanctis.

Homer: Hey, kids, how was school?

Lisa: I learned how many grams in a pennyweight.

Bart: I got expelled.

Jimbo: Me too.

Homer: That's my boy! [sips his Duff beer] Mmm... beer... [realizes] What!?

Jimbo: It's okay men, bart and i do not wanna go to school this year. Nice going captain.

Marge: Bart, I'd like you to read this copy of "Johnny Tremaine." It's a book I read as a girl.

Bart: A book!? Pfffft.

Jimbo: A book looks like "Johnny Tremaine."!? Pfffft.

Marge: I think you two might like this. It's about a boy who goes to war. His hand is deformed and monster beast in an accident.

Bart: Deformed? Why didn't you say so! They should call this book...

Jimbo and Bart: "Johnny Deformed the beast"?

[after realizing that Nelson, and Kearney are still locked in the school's utility closet, Principal Skinner and Groundskeeper Willie rush over to the school with a bunch of mountain bikes]

Principal Skinner: We give them their bikes, no one sues. [laughs nervously]

Willie: [laughs] What if they're dead, sir?

Principal Skinnger: Then we ride these bikes to Mexico, and freedom, Willie! Freedom!

Wille: Freedom! [laughs, then under his breath] Yeah, I'll turn you in at the first toll booth.

Nelson: Imagine...a school out there with no bullies.

Jimbo: Science geeks not getting beat up. Kids using their lunch money for food.

Nelson: I can't take it!

Mafia Bodyguard #1: All right, Bart Simpson. Where'd ya get the mountain bikes?

Bart: With your information, I will get my bike back.

Mafia Bodyguard #1: Gypsies don't play mountain bikes inside.

Mafia Bodyguard #3: Gypsies steals it.

Bart: Jimbo.

Jimbo: What!?

Bart: We will going to get out of here, we need to work together to stop Fat Tony, and we ready to go to my mom and dad's house.

Mafia Bodyguard #1: Ready to go eh?

Mafia Bodyguard #3: Maybe a day in the stocks will cool ya down.

Nelson: I'll take it for you, nasty bodyguard, (nelson punches).

Mafia Bodyguard #3: Oof!

Mafia Bodyguard #2: Oof!

Mafia Bodyguard #1: Oof!

Bart: Guys. Jimbo and i will must stop fat tony and his army, you stay here and don't move till jimbo and i'll get back.

Nelson: Hooray for Jimbo and Bart.

Mafia Bodyguard #2: Come back here, simpson!

Legs: Achillis, sit.

Mafia Bodyguard #1: Why you boy, whoa!