Burns, Baby Burns/Quotes
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< Burns, Baby Burns
Revision as of 20:39, July 24, 2010 by 149.254.56.47 (talk)
- After learning the train has been delayed in Waynesport
- Old Man: Hmm, this could take a good while, how about you get drunk and prance around for my amusement?
- Assidant: I will be a one-man conga line, sir.
- Man: "Wow, this guy is loaded. I mean sheesh. I've never seen a guy with a walk-in mailbox. I mean he's rich. Hey, who am I talking to?"
- Larry rings doorbell of Burns residence. The old man answers
- Old Man: Who are you? How dare you interrupt my lime rickey!
- Man: I...uh...am...
- Old Man{interrupting curtly}: You are what?! Selling light bulbs? Worried about the whales? Keen on Jesus? Out with it!
- Man: Mr. Burns, I am your son!
- Old Man: Something is not right about Larry's upbringing. Send for the boys of Yale at once!
- The old man's office. Two admissions officers from Yale are by his desk
- Old Man: Well, how did the interview go?
- Male Admissions Officer: Larry made light of my weight, then suggested my motto ought to be "Semper Fudge". Afterwards he told me to "relax" and "forget about it".
- Old Man: OK, OK. How were his test scores?
- Female Admissions Officer: Let me put it this way. Larry spelled Yale with a 6.
- The old man, in a not-to-subtle moves, opens his checkbook
- Old Man: Oh, I almost forgot, it is time for your annual contribution. How much should I give?
- Male Admissions Officer: Let us see. A score of 400 would require new football uniforms. A score of 300 would require a new dormitory.
- Old Man: And in Larry's case?
- Male Admissions Officer: A new international airport.
- Female Admissions Officer: Yale could use an international airport, Mr. Burns.
- Old Man: Blast you! I am not made of airports! Get out!
