The Simpsons: Tapped Out New Year New You content update/Prizes and Premium Gameplay

Prizes Gameplay

The Ol' Nip and Tuck

The Ol' Nip and Tuck Pt. 1

After tapping on Moe's exclamation mark: This wellness crap going around is really cutting into my poison-pushing business. It's all these millennial elites forcing this healthy hogwash on the rest of us! Millennials. All they do is spend Mommy and Daddy's money on bushels of kale, $8 green teas, and then when the weekend comes around — Schedule Four Drugs! Yeah, no wonder they can never pay off their impossibly large college loans. I know it's a little harsh, but I have to say it: millennials suck. Look, I don't care about all your fresh takes on modern-day topics! What I care about is that nobody's coming into my dank, dimly-lit tavern for their steady intake of brewskies and bar nuts. What are you talking about? All of your customers are here: Me, Carl, Barney, Homer. *looks around the bar* Carl... You're forgetting one third of my clientele: Trucker Hat Guy and Stringy Hair Guy. Oh yeah! Wait, are those guys wellness freaks now? Trucker Hat traded in his Truck for a Prius... And Stringy Hair is so chock-full of Omega-3s from the salmon he's eatin', that his hair is all thick and luscious now. But you got those side gigs in the backroom to prop up business, right? Yeah, I'm sure you can make up for it with the exotic animal trade. Had to shut it down. Turned out my last batch of cheetahs were just cats spray-painted to look like cheetahs. What about the backroom unlicensed surgeries? Some guy got an X-ray and saw that I accidentally left a cue ball in his insides. No one's come back since. Sounds like you need some new customers, Moe. *belches* Yeah, but who? No millennial elite will want to set foot in here. We don't need those avocado toasters! I'm sure we can think of something! Task: Make Barflies Have Drunk Brainstorming Session [x3] (3h, Moe's Tavern and Homes) And put another circle there. Great! That completes our Glen diagram. It's Venn diagram. Venn? I always thought it was called a Glen diagram because nobody actually knows anyone named Glen. And if they DO know someone named Glen, they put him in the middle, because they don't really have a strong opinion of someone named Glen. Well, the point is: we need to find the right customers. People with enough money to pay for our unsanctioned surgeries, but also not too much, because then they'd just go to a real doctor. So who does that leave us with? Looks like the only people left in the center of the diagram are prisoners. But Moe, how would you get alone in a room with a prisoner to operate on them? Two words: conjugal visits. Like the romantic kind?! Quest reward: 100 and 10

The Ol' Nip and Tuck Pt. 2

After tapping on Moe's exclamation mark: Alright Moe, you've got five minutes with the prisoner. Use the telephone there on the side of the booth. And no kissing the plexiglass! I'm tired of cleaning lipstick off of it! Can I help you? Fernando Vidal. So they finally got you for murder, eh? Hitman like you, I can't believe it took 'em this long. Oh, they didn't get me for murder...tax evasion, actually. Well, I think we can help each other. I'm here to offer my services to you and your fellow prisoners. Surgical operations on the cheap. Really? Hmm, that is interesting. There is one particular operation that would come in handy. However, I can only pay you in cigarettes and ramen. That stuff is gold on the inside. Hey, that stuff is gold on the outside too. A six-pack of ramen and a carton of cigs, and I'll do whatever operation you need. Task: Make Moe Haggle Prices (2h, Springfield Penitentiary, Moe's Tavern or Homes) So we've agreed on a price. Two cigarette cartons, four ramen packs, plus you gotta shiv the guy in cell block 149B. Agreed. So then what sort of operation were you wanting? Are you familiar with the film "Face Switch"? Oh, boy. Always wanted to do one of those. But look, we just need a private place to meet up, so we, uh…we're gonna have to arrange a visit of a, uh…conjugal nature. That...I can arrange. There's the Starry Nights Room, Bridal Falls, Daffodil Daydream, and the Execution Room. Daffodil Daydream sounds nice. Quest reward: 100 and 10

The Ol' Nip and Tuck Pt. 3

After tapping on Moe's exclamation mark: Unlicensed Surgeon Moe Alright, Mr. Vidal. I'm all done. Here's a mirror. What do you think? I must say, Moe. I can't even recognize myself. Unlicensed Surgeon Moe That's the whole point, ain't it? New face and all. Your handiwork is a thing of beauty. If you don't mind me asking, where did you procure the other face for the swap? Unlicensed Surgeon Moe Oh. You really want to know the dirty details? Well, it is my face now. Unlicensed Surgeon Moe I got a guy who works on that life-like robot show "Westworld". His cousin got hit by a truck crossing the street and now you're wearing his face. So that's that. Well, here are your cigarettes and ramen for payment. Unlicensed Surgeon Moe Pleasure doin' business. Task: Make Unlicensed Surgeon Moe Hand Out Flyers at the Prison (4h) Chief, looks like we got an escaped prisoner on the loose again. Here's a picture of him. Let's hunt this guy down and give him the business. I mean…apprehend him, gently. *winks* You there, handsome fella...have you seen this man? Oh, yes officers. I saw him come out of the prison there, and then he ran that way. We're on the scent, boys. But I've got two scents at the moment, so first we stop for donuts and then we're headed that way. He never stood a chance. Quest reward: 100 and 10

The Ol' Nip and Tuck Pt. 4

After tapping on Moe's exclamation mark: Unlicensed Surgeon Moe Moe Szyslak, checking in for a… *whispers* a, uh… *mumbles* conjugal visit. It's your fourth time this week, Moe. Unlicensed Surgeon Moe Oh, well…we just really love each other. And it's a different prisoner every time. Unlicensed Surgeon Moe We all really love each other. Yeah, but Big Pookie? I mean no judgment, but what do you see in that guy? I once watched him eat a live swan that flew over the fence. Unlicensed Surgeon Moe Yep, uh…that's my thing. That's what really does it for me. Task: Make Unlicensed Surgeon Moe Perform Secret Surgery on Big Pookie (4h, Springfield Penitentiary, Moe's Tavern or Homes) Quest reward: 100 and 10

The Ol' Nip and Tuck Pt. 5

After tapping on Moe's exclamation mark: Alright, boys. We've tracked the black market surgeon known only as Moesenberg to this conjugal visitation trailer. Word on the street is he should be here any second. I'll take your WORD for it. See what I did there? Not really...wait, I hear something, Chief. Unlicensed Surgeon Moe Alright, Pookie. Put your brass knuckles down and put on a hospital gown. *bursting in* Hands where I can see ‘em, Moesenberg! Unlicensed Surgeon Moe *puts hands up* Chief Wiggum! What an interesting place to meet. Wrapping up a conjugal visit of your own? You can't fool me, Moesenberg. We know you're doing illegal surgeries for prisoners in this unmonitored daffodil-filled sex den! Unlicensed Surgeon Moe Chief, perhaps you'd be interested in a bit of a nip and tuck to take care of those extra folds above the utility belt? Unlicensed Surgeon Moe And, uh, it'd be on the house of course. Blue Badge Special, I call it. Hmm, ya know I have been thinking about taking care of that extra pound or two I put on. Then I could get back to my college weight. Boys, wait outside. Pookie, you can stay if you want. Task: Make Unlicensed Surgeon Moe Give Wiggum the Ol' Nip and Tuck (5h, Springfield Penitentiary, Moe's Tavern or Homes) I have to say it, Moesenberg. I haven't looked this good since I got a donut hole stuck in my windpipe and I couldn't eat solids for a week. Unlicensed Surgeon Moe You know, if you could pass out my brochure to the boys at the precinct, it would be much appreciated. Oh, yeah. I'll definitely tell Eddie. He's been talking about getting surgical hair implants for years. *leaves* Unlicensed Surgeon Moe *looking around* Where did my cellphone go? Unlicensed Surgeon Moe *gasp* I think I might have sewn it up inside Wiggum. Quest reward: 200 and 20

Motivation to the Masses

Motivation to the Masses Pt. 1

After tapping on Tab Spangler's exclamation mark: Tab Spangler My test run of Serenity Ranch's new approach was a total success if I do say so myself. Tab Spangler But I wish I knew how to get the word out to the massive masses... Want some business advice from a guy who's never run a business? Tab Spangler No. Is there anyone smarter around or more qualified? Tab Spangler Like, uh, Rich Texan or Hank Scorpio? Okay, fine. I'll go and get them... Here's Rich Texan and Hank Scorpio. *fires gun* Marketing your weight loss technique is way too expensive. Yeah, what you need to do is bring your brand directly to the people. The fat people! Tab Spangler I know just what to do... Is it something evil?! Because I LOVE evil businesses! Task: Make Tab Spangler Contemplate Promotion Ideas (2h, Serenity Ranch, Springfield Convention Center, Springfield Wrestling Pavilion, Aztec Theater, Adult Education Annex, Springfield High School, Town Hall or Homes) If the user has Hank Scorpio: Task: Make Hank Scorpio Coach Tab Spangler (2h, Serenity Ranch, Springfield Convention Center, Springfield Wrestling Pavilion, Aztec Theater, Adult Education Annex, Springfield High School, Town Hall or Homes) If the user has The Rich Texan: Task: Make Rich Texan Coach Tab Spangler (2h, Serenity Ranch, Springfield Convention Center, Springfield Wrestling Pavilion, Aztec Theater, Adult Education Annex, Springfield High School, Town Hall or Homes) Tab Spangler Thanks for that swell advice, team! Now that I'm an insult comic, I can make fun of every Springfielder that's out of shape! You ARE evil! My advice was more about how you could become a motivational speaker for your brand...but insult comic?! That's crazy! Let's see it, insult comic. Insult me now! Roast me like a Thanksgiving Turkey! Tab Spangler Oil men are a thing of the past. Solar power is the future! That wasn't an insult... You think I don't know about green energy? I keep a diverse portfolio! *fires guns* Tab Spangler Hmm, I guess I do need to work on my insulting. You just need someone better to practice on. How 'bout Kirk?! I don't know... I don't really like getting my feelings hurt. Tab Spangler Hey look! It's the guy who drives a Prius but paid the $100 deposit on a Tesla just so he can pretend to be one of the "cool" dads. *crying* I'm going to get that Cybertruck, you just wait! That was more mean than funny. Maybe you should stick to motivational speaking. Tab Spangler You're probably right, Hank Scorpio. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Motivation to the Masses Pt. 2

After tapping on Tab Spangler's exclamation mark: Tab Spangler I'd like to thank you for letting me invite myself to speak here at the Springfield Comic-Anime-Biker Con! Who is this dude? Tab Spangler Folks, let's be honest: you all are a sad lot. Woefully weak, out of shape, and all-around underperformers. I'm trying to get in shape with all my kung fu! Tab Spangler But it doesn't have to be that way! You have it in you to be your OWN superhero, and I can help you do it. It's a fair point. The Caped Crusader turned himself into the most feared champion of justice through hard work and discipline. Give me a break! In real life no one could master kung fu, crime solving, and parallel parking in that short a time! Trust me! I've tried! Task: Make Tab Spangler Fail to Regain Nerds' Attention (3h, Serenity Ranch, Springfield Convention Center, Springfield Wrestling Pavilion, Aztec Theater, Adult Education Annex, Springfield High School, Town Hall or Homes) Nerds: Make Nerds Argue With Bikers About Comic Books [x3] (3h, Serenity Ranch, Springfield Convention Center, Springfield Wrestling Pavilion, Aztec Theater, Adult Education Annex, Springfield High School, Town Hall or Homes) …and THAT is why it is totally possible to perform an emergency tracheotomy while fighting ninjas with a broken skateboard! The only thing more ludicrous than your argument is how much you paid for that ironic Cthulhu 2020 t-shirt. It's not ironic! I wrote Cthulhu in when I voted! Tab Spangler I feel like I lost them. It happens. That'll be forty-five dollars, by the way. Tab Spangler What? I'm a volunteer speaker! Yeah, plus we don't validate parking. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Motivation to the Masses Pt. 3

After tapping on Tab Spangler's exclamation mark: Okay, Number 908, who'd you line up to speak at this month's Stonecutters meeting? Uh, well, Sideshow Raheem cancelled at the last minute, but I found this guy trying to get people to listen to him outside the Sprawl-Mart. I'm not impressed, 908, but I guess it's too late now. May as well let him talk while Number 50 figures out how to tap the keg. Almost got it! Tab Spangler I'm Tab Spangler, here to help you all unleash your inner potential and achieve all your dreams… I'm skeptical but listening. Task: Make Tab Spangler Motivate the Stonecutters (4h, Stonecutter Lodge, Springfield Convention Center, Aztec Theater, Adult Education Annex, Springfield High School or Homes) If the user has Number 1: Task: Make Number 1 Get Motivated (4h, Stonecutter Lodge, Springfield Convention Center, Aztec Theater, Adult Education Annex, Springfield High School or Homes) That was more impressive than I expected. Next month's Stonecutters retreat shall be at Serenity Ranch! Tab Spangler Really? Finally I'll make some money! How? We're the Stonecutters. We don't actually pay for anything. Tab Spangler What? Why would I do that? Well, we can make you a temporary honorary Stonecutter. Tab Spangler What does that get me? We'll validate your parking for tonight. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Motivation to the Masses Pt. 4

After tapping on Tab Spangler's exclamation mark: Tab Spangler *sigh* I can't believe it's come to this… Listen up students, Sideshow Raheem cancelled at the last minute, so today's assembly will feature motivational speaker Todd Springer. Aw, man! I was looking forward to Sideshow Raheem layin' down some hard truths. Tab Spangler Look kids, the bottom line is you can't succeed in life without motivation, and I got bills to pay at Serenity Ranch... Tab Spangler So get your parents to check in this weekend and you'll get into a good school…or something... I don't even know what I'm saying anymore. I can't tell if this is a performance art piece or he's just losing it. Anyway, everyone knows the only way to motivate kids is through abject bribery. Yeah! What do we get out of this deal? Some candy? A carton of cigarettes? Ramen? Cash? I can accept credit card payments via my new phone app. Task: Make Tab Spangler Break Down and Give Up (5h, Springfield Elementary, Springfield High School, Springfield Convention Center or Homes) Task: Make Kids Make Demands [x5] (5h, Springfield Elementary, Springfield High School, Springfield Convention Center or Homes) Quest reward: 100 and 10

Motivation to the Masses Pt. 5

After tapping on Tab Spangler's exclamation mark: Tab Spangler Ah, what's the use? I was a fool to think I could succeed with a business that tries to improve people in this town! I hear ya, brother. People keep inviting me to their places to speak, and I get tired of running back and forth all over town. Tab Spangler Wait, people actually want to hear you speak? Oh yeah. Makes ‘em feel "woke". And people like it when I scare their kids into submission. I don't dig it myself, but it pays the bills. Tab Spangler What if all these people came to you instead of you having to go to them? Then I'd be living the dream, man. But what kind of crazy talk is that? Tab Spangler The kind that just might work… Task: Make Tab Spangler Promote New Business Model (4h, Serenity Ranch, Springfield Convention Center, Springfield Wrestling Pavilion, Aztec Theater, Adult Education Annex, Springfield High School, Town Hall or Homes) If the user has Sideshow Raheem: Task: Make Sideshow Raheem Cash In (4h, Serenity Ranch, Springfield Convention Center, Springfield Wrestling Pavilion, Aztec Theater, Adult Education Annex, Springfield High School, Town Hall or Homes) Tab Spangler Welcome, everyone, to the new Serenity Ranch Woke and Wellness Center! Corporate retreats are our specialty. Brilliant idea, Tab! Not evil, kind of the opposite of evil...but brilliant! Yeah, this ranch reminds of the ranch I grew up on! Any oil on it, by chance? Tab Spangler Thanks for all the advice guys. Now, the retreat costs $10,000 per person. What? All my funds are tied up in the bond market and the killing James Bont market, so— You two weren't thinking of not paying, were you? Uh, do you take oil leases? Qyest reward: 200 and 20

Premium Gameplay

The Nature to Nurture

The Nature to Nurture Pt. 1

After tapping on Mrs. Frink's exclamation mark: Mrs. Frink For cryin' out glayvin! Give me back that test tube! Vicious Monkeys *monkey noises* Quick everyone, clear out! Ned Flanders is here! No — Not — That guy. He's leading his biweekly "crimes against nature" crusade! Mrs. Frink Now?! But I had that in my calendar for next week! I'm afraid even we scientists don't understand the meaning of "biweekly"! Vicious Monkeys *shrugging noises* Ok, I'll take the Monkeys and the Super Soldier Squirrels and you get rid of…you know…THAT. Octoparrot *croak* Mrs. Frink Octoparrot?! I'm not going to let them harm a feather on your head. Octoparrot Or tentacle! Task: Make Mrs. Frink Rescue Octoparrot (1h, Screaming Monkey Medical Research Center, Hidden Research Facility, Monsarno Research, Frink's Lab, Frink's House or Homes) If the user has Sebastian Cobb: Task: Make Sebastian Cobb Wrangle the Monkeys (1h, Screaming Monkey Medical Research Center, Hidden Research Facility, Monsarno Research, Frink's Lab, Frink's House or Homes) If the user has Ned: Task: Make Ned Harass Scientists (1h, Screaming Monkey Medical Research Center, Hidden Research Facility, Monsarno Research, Frink's Lab, Frink's House or Homes) Mrs. Frink Hey honey, I'm home — and I've got a surprise. Flayvin do I like a good surprise. Octoparrot Flayvin! Hoyvin! Octoparrot Hoyvin! What is with the flipping and the flapping and the repeating— Mrs. Frink I have to keep Octoparrot hidden in our house for a while. But where the glayvin will we put this ink-shooting copy-cat?! Mrs. Frink The guest bedroom? Octoparrot *brawk* Master bedroom! Quest reward: 100 and 10

The Nature to Nurture Pt. 2

After tapping on Mrs. Frink's exclamation mark: By my calculations, this parrot doesn't just display repetitive behavior, but communicates with advanced avian intelligence. Octoparrot Duh! *sprays ink* Mrs. Frink His octopus DNA makes him smarter than your average bird. I still don't recognize his scientific purpose. Mrs. Frink Octoparrot is just Phase One in our mission to one day merge the DNA of humans and parrots. Octoparrot I'm hungry! I'm hungry! I'm hungry! He sounds pretty human to me. Task: Make Mrs. Frink Try to Feed Octoparrot (4h, Frink's House, Frink's Lab, Hidden Research Facility, Monsarno Research or Homes) If the user has Octoparrot Icon Make Mrs. Frink Try to Feed Octoparrot (4h, Frink's House, Frink's Lab, Hidden Research Facility, Monsarno Research or Homes, Octoparrot) If the user has Professor Frink: Task: Make Frink Clean Up Ink-Stains With Lasers (4h, Frink's House, Frink's Lab, Hidden Research Facility, Monsarno Research or Homes) Quest reward: 100 and 10

The Nature to Nurture Pt. 3

After tapping on Mrs. Frink's exclamation mark: Octoparrot *burps* Well, we've learned that this invertebrate bird likes to eat fish. Mrs. Frink I'm growing to like him as a pet. Octoparrot I'm hungry! I'm hungry! *ink spray* Well, he's good practice before we create our own children. Mrs. Frink Children... Miniaturize some of your clothes. I have an idea! Miniaturize them? But that technology is far too advanced! Mrs. Frink We get it. You invented the Shrink Ray... I did! But my shrink ray is very sensitive. If you shrink something, you can't just zap it back and make it big again. Mrs. Frink Now that would be something worth investing in. *zaps his clothes* Task: Make Mrs. Frink Disguise Octoparrot (2h, Frink's House, Frink's Lab, Hidden Research Facility, Monsarno Research or Homes) If the user has Professor Frink: Task: Make Frink Miniaturize Clothes (2h, Frink's House, Frink's Lab, Hidden Research Facility, Monsarno Research or Homes) Quest reward: 100 and 10

The Nature to Nurture Pt. 4

After tapping on Mrs. Frink's exclamation mark: Welcome to the Childrarium. How can I help you? Mrs. Frink I would like to drop my son off to be nurtured and educated while I go get a mani-pedi and feel smugly superior to other parents because I'm paying to give my child a head start. We really appreciate that kind of honesty here at the Childrarium. Mrs. Frink I just want the best for my child, Octoparrot. His name is Octoparrot? Mrs. Frink Well, we prefer to call him by his nickname: Octo. All right, Octo. Time for a fun-filled day at the Childrarium! Octoparrot *ink spray* My eyes! Mrs. Frink He, uh, likes black licorice and sometimes spits at strangers. Sorry. Task: Make Mrs. Frink Get a Mani-Pedi (8h, Frink's House, Frink's Lab, Hidden Research Facility, Monsarno Research or Homes) If the user has Squeaky Voice Teen: Task: Make Squeaky Voice Teen Watch ViewTube While Kids Run Wild (8h, Childrarium, Springfield Gymdandee or Homes) Welcome back, ma'am. Here's your son and— Oh, one of his mittens came off and OH MY GOD, IS THAT A TENTACLE?! Mrs. Frink Let's just put that mitten back on and no it wasn't. I'm pretty sure it was! Mrs. Frink *zaps with shrink ray* Sorry, but you know too much. I'm as small as the toddlers now! Quest reward: 100 and 10

The Nature to Nurture Pt. 5

After tapping on Mrs. Frink's exclamation mark: Mrs. Frink I'm tired of putting in all the work to raise our 8-tentacled crime against nature while you futz around trying to generate cold fusion in your lab! I knew Octoparrot would create a divide between us! Octoparrot *brawk* I choose neither of you in the divorce! I never wanted a genetically-engineered faux-child. That was all you. You HAD to have one, and I supported you in that, but you always knew that I have very important science work. Mrs. Frink Yeah, doing what? Robotics? Robots are the future! Mrs. Frink You just built another robot bartender didn't you? Yes! And Charles can make ice AND serve drinks, thank you very much. But by Glayvin's ghost, I can't get him to stop crushing the ice cubelets! Robot *crushing noises* Here's your margarita, sir. Octoparrot Can I get seven more for each of my tentacles? ould you like them with salt, sir? Task: Make Mrs. Frink Complain About Frink (5h, Frink's House, Frink's Lab, Hidden Research Facility, Monsarno Research or Homes) If the user has Professor Frink: Task: Make Frink Work on Robot Bartender (5h, Frink's House, Frink's Lab, Hidden Research Facility, Monsarno Research or Homes) Hi-diddly-ho, science-a-reenos! Mrs. Frink Ned Flanders! Uh, what are you doing here? Everyone in town knows you and Frink are hiding some sort of lab-grown monster. Mrs. Frink But how? I've been so careful! Well, your octoparrot has been spraying ink all around town. But you can all relax. Some archaeologists just discovered a new stash of early Christian manuscripts — the Deader Sea Scrolls. And in it, there's a new gospel that says abominations are okay as long as they're cute! Mrs. Frink So our little Octo is safe? Who's the cute little octoparrot, who? Octoparrot *brawk* Get me away from this weirdo! And from all of you! Mrs. Frink Octo's right. You belong in this world. Go and be free, little Octo! So long, son. Octoparrot *brawk* I'll send you a postcard from Rio! *flies away* Quest reward: 200 and 20