Difference between revisions of "The Simpsons: Tapped Out Level 45 content update"

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The Level 45 content update for The Simpsons: Tapped Out is a content update that was released on September 17, 2014.

Level Up Message

The level-up message is said by Lugash:

Characters

Image Character Unlock message Notes Artie Ziff Unlocked with Ziff Corp Sign. 100px Üter Unlocked with The Hungry Hun.

Buildings

Image Name Cost Build time Task Notes ZiffCorp Office Building 1,016,000 Indoor Tennis Courts 516,000 The Hungry Hun 160 Unlocks Uter. Fortress of Choclitude 10,000,000 3 days Is an aspirational building.

Decorations

Image Name Cost Notes ZiffCorp Sign 550,000 Unlocks Artie Ziff. BBQ Pig 60

Gameplay

The Way I Wish We Was Pt. 1

After tapping on Patty's exclamation mark Why the frown, Selma? This better be because we were ousted from the MacGyver Fan Club for indecency, and not man problems again! My boyfriend got an electrolarynx and now says he's too good for me. For God's sake, Selma – there're plenty of handsome men in the sea. Desperate, lonely, ugly, handsome men. Look at the facts, Patty. We're past 44 and still alone. Even my green card marriage fell apart – how am I supposed to compete with Haiti? I have a feeling 45 will take us to a whole new level. And that level is rock bottom, with hunks like Artie Ziff. You mean the guy who's crazy about Marge? A desperation only a loving sister can take advantage of. The player receives "The Way I Wish We Was Pt. 1" which is to "Build ZiffCorp Sign".

The Way I Wish We Was Pt. 2

After tapping on Marge's exclamation mark Oh no... Artie! Don't take this the wrong way... ...but you're the last person I ever wanted to see again. Template:Tapped Out Artie Icon If I had a nickel every time someone said that to me, I'd still be rich! Template:Tapped Out Artie Icon But don't worry your corn cob shaped head, I'm just here for a helping hand... Template:Tapped Out Artie Icon ...in marriage? Template:Tapped Out Artie Icon Kidding! Template:Tapped Out Artie Icon Just a helping hand. No funny business... Template:Tapped Out Artie Icon ...unless you like a man who's funny. Template:Tapped Out Artie Icon Kidding again! Template:Tapped Out Artie Icon Just the help. Maybe I can help you. Homer! Really? It's so rare to help someone worse off than me. I'm always the bottom left of New York Magazine's Approval Matrix. Every week! Template:Tapped Out Artie Icon I humbly accept your offer of help, Homer. You clearly are the bigger man. I offer you help and you insult my weight. How dare you! He means that as a compliment, Dad. In that case, let's do the manliest thing I know - Destroy our livers! The player receives "The Way I Wish We Was Pt. 2" which is to "Make Homer Drink at Moe's", "Make Moe Serve Drinks", and "Make Artie Have a Glass of Soy Milk at Moe's" It takes 8 hours.

The Way I Wish We Was Pt. 3

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark Now that you have some Liquid Courage, and I've had some alcohol, let's find you a date! First, you'll need a wingman, one who is both uglier than you and less attractive. Lucky for us, we have Moe. I know it, but it still hurts. Template:Tapped Out Artie Icon What exactly does being a wingman entail? For starters, I can help you collect intel on the prey... ...I mean victim... ...I mean woman... ...I mean object. Then you can use that information to manipulate her! Template:Tapped Out Artie Icon And all this time I've been foolishly selling personal information to the government, when I could have been using it to get dates? The player receives "The Way I Wish We Was Pt. 3" which is to "Make Moe Spy on Midge" and "Make Artie Spy on Everyone" It takes 12 hours.

The Way I Wish We Was Pt. 4

After tapping on Artie Ziff's exclamation mark Marge, it is my professional opinion as an amateur opinion giver that everything wrong in your life is because of that sub-human drunk Homer Simpson! My husband offered to help you and this is how you repay him? This is new Springfield! It's a vast multi-dimensional universe where the currency is trans-fat based. Everything's changing! Give me a chance, Marge, and I can vastly improve your quality of life! Ok Artie, what do you propose? Margery Bouvier! I thought you'd never ask! The player receives "The Way I Wish We Was Pt. 4" which is to "Make Artie Propose to Marge" It takes 24 hours. Artie, no means no. I wish you would respect me when I say that. Sometimes the most respectful thing you can do is ignore a woman's wishes and tell her what she really wants. You're looking at the new Artie! One that looks, talks, and acts like the old one. If you think you're a better man, Artie, don't prove it to me – prove it to yourself!

The Way I Wish We Was Pt. 5

After tapping on Artie Ziff's exclamation mark Marge is playing hard to get once again! But if I know Marge, and for some reason I believe I do, the one thing that impresses her above all else is... MONEY! Time to reclaim my crown as the most successful, narcissistic idiot in Springfield's business universe. Watch out, Krusty! And Mr. Burns! And Duffman! And Kent Brockman! Geez, I didn't realize there were so many rich idiots in-- Keep your monologue to yourself, buddy. This bar is here to forget your problems, not solve them. Sorry Moe, I have this bad habit of thinking out loud. I suppose I can't quite get enough of the delightful sound of my own voice. The player receives "The Way I Wish We Was Pt. 5" which is to "Make Artie Form Business Connections" It takes 12 hours.

The Way I Wish We Was Pt. 6

After tapping on Artie Ziff's exclamation mark Moe, I came to you first with an exciting business opportunity. The last time I fell for that line I bought an Indian graveyard. Err, I mean, an empty plot of land. Native American Spirit You said you would honor our spirit, Moe. And you believed me, Chief Gullible Panther. Moe, you've proven yourself a man with loose morals and that's exactly who I want to be in business with. Buy some shares of ZiffCorp and don't ask too many questions, and I'll make you rich beyond your wildest dreams. I don't know – I've got some pretty wild dreams. In one, I got wheels for feet. The player receives "The Way I Wish We Was Pt. 6" which is to "Make Springfielders Invest in ZiffCorp (x10)" It takes 4 hours. Hey, Carl, do you think we made a mistake investing our life savings into this stock? No, Artie said he was coming to us first. And we can trust him -- he was wearing a suit.

The Way I Wish We Was Pt. 7

After tapping on Lenny's exclamation mark ZiffCorp was ranked the number one stock to buy in 2014 by Hickory Dickory Stock, the magazine for child economists. If it's good enough for America's youth, then it's good enough for me. It's logic like that that makes me feel better about investing so much in a company I know so little about. And here's another article on ZiffCorp in Ferdinand the Bull Market, the magazine for child bankers. Huh. Turns out ZiffCorp's borrowing our shares, short-selling them, and then repurchasing and returning them to us at a later date. That seems a little shady and not to our benefit. Should we be worried? My financial advisor says there is nothing to be worried about. We'll be millionaires by nap time. The player receives "The Way I Wish We Was Pt. 7" which is to Make Artie Short Sell ZiffCorp Stock" It takes 24 hours. Yeehaw! I just bought me a majority share of the hottest company in 'Murica! I feel like dancin'. Please stop shooting your own feet! We're on the second floor. Well, how do you dance if you aren't shooting at your feet to make ‘em move? In my culture, we sit down in chairs and make other people pick them up and dance for us.

The Way I Wish We Was Pt. 8

After tapping on Artie Ziff's exclamation mark I know how unorthodox it is to call a board of directors meeting in the middle of the streets, but I need to tell you all something and I wanted to do it in a place where I can easily escape. ZiffCorp is filing for bankruptcy. What about the articles in Mother Goose's ‘Lullabye and Sell' about ZiffCorp's massive profits? Was that all just a fantasy? No, not a fantasy. A lie! That was a lie! I think it's technically called investor fraud. But what about us? You will lose all your investments. But don't worry, there's a silver lining... Oh good, cause that all sounded really bad. What is it? You didn't let me finish. A silver lining on my new tennis court. Not quite regulation, but I love the way my ruby-crusted tennis balls clang off it. The player receives "The Way I Wish We Was Pt. 8" which is to "Build Indoor Tennis Courts" and "Make Artie File for Bankruptcy". It takes 12 hours. Artie, you are absolutely the most unethical, sleazy example of a human being I have ever come across! You're right – I AM rich. Now will you marry me, Marge? You just don't get it. I don't want to be with you, or even around you. Go home Artie. What could have possibly gone wrong?! I didn't listen to a word she said and ruined hundreds of people's lives. I should be swimming in Marges.

The Way I Wish We Was Pt. 9

After tapping on Judge Snyder's exclamation mark ...Insider trading, cooking the books, dangerously undercooked books, unauthorized exchanges, laundering money through numerous child-focused investment magazines. I don't know if there's a white collar crime you haven't committed, Mr. Ziff. White collar crimes are the good ones, right? Mr. Ziff, these are very serious accusations! A lot of people, including myself, have been financially crippled because of you! You've ruined lives! I don't suppose this ‘Get Out of Jail Free' card I have in my wallet is game transferrable? Jail? I don't think that's necessary. It's not like you shoplifted or were found with a minuscule amount of drugs. House arrest will do. And if you don't have a house, the court will appoint one for you. As for your failing business that ruined the community, its market cap just qualifies as too big to fail. I hereby order the town to bail out ZiffCorp and build it a fancy office building. Case dismissed! The player receives "The Way I Wish We Was Pt. 9" which is to "Build ZiffCorp Office Building". So ZiffCorp is back and will be publicly traded. But I'll never be fooled by a man in a fancy suit again. Hey! Nice suit, Carl, so are you thinking of buying back in? Are you crazy? I lost over three hundred thousand dollars! Then I'm buying back in! What?! Why? I said I wasn't going to listen to a man in a suit and you're a man in a suit. Thanks for the not advice, Carl.

Burning the Midnight Oil

After tapping on Artie Ziff's exclamation mark You're a dirty cheat, Artie Ziff! I lost millions on your bum stock! I had to sell off 10% of my hat collection and 15% of my horse. That's unfortunate, but as the expression goes -- hate the game, not the player. I live my life by one expression and one expression only -- I don't like expressions! Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to burn some midnight oil if I plan to get my tennis serve back to millionaire status. Burn that midnight oil while you can. I will have my vengeance, and it will be as swift as it is shocking! For the record, I'm not going to meet you in any town squares at noon. Then my vengeance will be less swift than previously anticipated. The player receives "Burning the Midnight Oil" which is to "Make Artie Practice his Tennis Serving Skills" and "Make The Rich Texan Raise the Price of Midnight Oil". It takes 1 and 12 hours. How's burning all that midnight oil treating ya, Artie? Odd that you ask. I just tried to purchase some more and they said my card was declined. That's because I own all the midnight oil fields this side of the Middle East. And I raised the price 500 times! How crude! And I raised the price of crude 1000 times! I believe your expression is, hate the game, not the player. Yee-haw!

You Got Your Schokolade in My Erdnussbutter Pt. 1

After tapping on Uter's exclamation mark Welcome back, Uter! So much has changed since you've been gone. Mostly the locations of things and that our currency is donuts now. Uter Donuts? Sweet sugary donuts? You can't eat them. They're legal tender. Well, semi-legal -- legal tender is usually transferable. Uter Then I will have to forgo donuts, and eat a healthy breakfast instead. The player receives " You Got Your Schokolade in My Erdnussbutter Pt. 1" which is to "Make Uter Enjoy Candy for Breakfast" It takes 8 hours.

You Got Your Schokolade in My Erdnussbutter Pt. 2

You Got Your Schokolade in My Erdnussbutter Pt. 3

After tapping on Skinner's exclamation mark Hello, Uter. Or as they say in your country -- Hallo, Uter. I honestly thought Springfield being destroyed would make you want to go back home. Uter No no, I must attend your American school system to get grade A American education, Principal Skinner! Well, the Department of Education actually gave our grade A American education a D minus. But no “learning” today, Uter. While in Europe you might learn on Saturdays, and give wine to babies, here in America Saturdays are strictly for non-learning. I'm just here to supervise a Sci-Fi convention in the school gym. Uter I love sci-fi! Almost as much as deep fry! Then come on in, Uter – your enthusiasm and girth will fit right in. The player receives "You Got Your Schokolade in My Erdnussbutter Pt. 3" which is to "Make Uter Attend Sci-Fi Convention". It takes 4 hours.

You Got Your Schokolade in My Erdnussbutter Pt. 4

After tapping on Uter's exclamation mark Uter Wraps of Khan and Chocolate Cookies Of The Fried Kind - this is paradise! Uter, you old so and so! I haven't seen you in ages. We're way past-due on your last wedgie appointment. I'm going to have to do a full bully overhaul – wedgie, swirlie, noogie, maybe even a swonkie. If I move my next Haw-Haw appointment, I should be able to squeeze you in... ...to a locker. Uter Please, no! Don't make me run, I am full of chocolate! The player receives " You Got Your Schokolade in My Erdnussbutter Pt. 4" which is to "Make Uter Run While Full of Chocolate" . It takes 24 hours. Uter Out of the vay! Uter My nurples must not become purple! These conventions are a great place to find social misfits with genius-level IQs for my superweapon project. Plus pick up some more slammers for my Pog collection. Get back here, nerd! Of course, I also usually nab some hired muscle in the process. That kid would be a great candidate for my Henchboys to Henchmen program.

You Got Your Schokolade in My Erdnussbutter Pt. 5

After tapping on Uter's exclamation mark Uter If I run another step, I will yodel! When I get my hands on you, you're getting a beating American-style! Uter Oversized portions and no apologies! Uter I need a place to hide. A place that is safe, secure... Uter ...and, hopefully, full of candy. The player receives " You Got Your Schokolade in My Erdnussbutter Pt. 5" which is to "Make Uter Hide in the Kwik-E-Mart". It takes 8 hours. I believe your bully has gone, young customer. But feel free to continue to eat our imported chocolate... ...imported from the Shelbyville Discount Candy Emporium. Uter Thank you for your hospitality – I shall never nougat it! Uter Haha, candy humor. Auf Wiedersehen!

You Got Your Schokolade in My Erdnussbutter Pt. 6

After tapping on Uter's exclamation mark Uter I don't feel well. It could be a cramp from all that exercise. Uter Or perhaps it was that candy-less candy apple I ate earlier. Nature lies about its candy! Uter Perhaps I should meet with herr doktor... The player receives " You Got Your Schokolade in My Erdnussbutter Pt. 6" which is to "Make Uter Visit the Doctor". It takes 12 hours. Uter Do you know what is wrong with me, herr doktor? Oh I'm no hair doctor, although I do like to take care of my locks. Heh-Heh-Heh. Uter, you have what I call the Rocky of diabetes – types one through seven. But you also don't have any American health care, so on your way.

You Got Your Schokolade in My Erdnussbutter Pt. 7

The Magic Schoolbus

After tapping on Uter's exclamation mark Uter I cannot wait to see all my school friends again. Uter I am sure they will be happy to see me again, too. The player receives "The Magic Schoolbus" which is to "Make Uter Sit Alone on the Bus". It takes 4 hours. Whoa, little dude, I didn't even notice you sitting there. Uter You've been sitting on me for half an hour. I thought you were a bean bag chair. I guess I solved the mystery of the screaming bean bag chair. Uter Oh wise bus driver, I feel so alone. My only friends are the ones I eat. Whoa, dude, never eat your friends. If they're anything like Dave, they'll get super mad.

The Rule of Two Pt. 1

After tapping on Hank Scorpio's exclamation mark Ah, look at that big kid chase that pudgy kid. What a beautiful time in a young monster's life. Come back here, nerd! When I catch you, I'm going to give you an Indian burn so bad you'll open a casino. *sigh* Really takes you back. Reminds me of when I made Henry Kissinger pee his pants in pre-school. I think he was picking up his daughter. The player receives "The Rule of Two Pt. 1" which is to "Make Nelson Shake Down Nerds" and "Make Hank Scorpio Reminisce". It takes 12 hours.

The Rule of Two Pt. 2

After tapping on Hank Scorpio's exclamation mark Excuse me, Mister Muntz. Have you ever considered a career as a goon, a thug, or a hoodlum? Those were the exact careers listed on my career aptitude test. And US Senator. The world needs leaders, Nelson. And those leaders need faceless ruffians behind them to help stomp out the competition. What you need to do is create a program that you can organize in your own megalomaniacal image. You had me at megalomaniacal image. So the very end? I'm a slow learner. The player receives "The Rule of Two Pt. 2" which is to "Make Nelson Organize Bullying" and "Make Hank Scorpio Oversee Bullying Program". It takes 8 hours. The Advanced Muntz Organization of Bullying, or A MOB, thanks you for your donation, doofus. Please enjoy these complimentary return address stickers that I've punched into your stomach. *ooof* I feel better having donated to a deserving cause. Look at the little scamp go, punching stomachs and administering wedgies like a future Fortune 500 owner. What is this thing I'm feeling? Pride?... ...No, it's gas. Shouldn't have eaten that gas station sushi.