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Difference between revisions of "Your Horrorscope"

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
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{{Tab|gags=no}}
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{{Tab|nogags}}
{{Comics
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{{Comic story
 
|title=Your Horrorscope
 
|title=Your Horrorscope
 
|image=[[File:Your Horroscope.png|250px]]
 
|image=[[File:Your Horroscope.png|250px]]
 
|released= April [[2014]]
 
|released= April [[2014]]
|pages=Double pages
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|pages= 2
 
|series= ''[[Simpsons Comics]]''
 
|series= ''[[Simpsons Comics]]''
 
|written by= [[Mike Kazaleh]]
 
|written by= [[Mike Kazaleh]]
 
}}
 
}}
  
'''''Your Horrorscope''''' is a horoscope that appears in {{SC|666}}.
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'''''Your Horrorscope''''' is a horoscope first printed in {{SC|211}}.
== Horrorscope==
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 +
== Horrorscope ==
 
{{Table|
 
{{Table|
 
{{TH|Image|width=150px}}
 
{{TH|Image|width=150px}}
 
{{TH|Name|width=150px}}
 
{{TH|Name|width=150px}}
{{TH|Horrorscope}}
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{{TH|Horroscope}}
{{TBT|[[File:Your Horroscope Aquadicks.png|200px]]}}
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{{TBT|[[File:Your Horroscope Aquarius.png|200px]]}}
{{TB|'''Aquaman'''}}
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{{TB|'''Aquarius'''}}
{{TB|Bringer of joj. Spirits are lifted when you are near. Warm and compassionate, other people often bring their christmas gifts to you.<br>'''This week:''' Mars and several dozen other chocolate bars will enter your house. Be sure to spread your own brand of happiness on their breads. It will prove to be very rewarding.}}
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{{TB|Bringer of jollity. Spirits are lifted when you are near. Warm and compassionate, other people often bring their troubles to you.<br>'''This week:''' Mars and several dozen other planets will enter your house. Be sure to spread your own brand of happiness. It will prove to be very rewarding.}}
{{TBT|[[File:Your Horroscope Penis.png|200px]]}}
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{{TBT|[[File:Your Horroscope Pisces.png|200px]]}}
{{TB|'''Penis & Dicks'''}}
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{{TB|'''Pisces'''}}
{{TB|You posses a high level of boners, although that may be difficult for other to perceive. Your relationship can be a bit of an mama luigi at times.<br>'''This week:''' The moon is a little wobbly in its orbit. Oh wait, THAT'S MY ASS.}}
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{{TB|You posses a high level of intelligence, although that may be difficult for other to perceive. Your relationship can be a bit of an engigma at times.<br>'''This week:''' The moon is a little wobbly in its orbit. Your situation is stable and yet unpredicatble. Look to aquarius to find real satisfaction.}}
{{TBT|[[File:Your Horroscope Air Force with Fries.png|200px]]}}
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{{TBT|[[File:Your Horroscope Aries.png|200px]]}}
{{TB|'''Air Force'''}}
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{{TB|'''Aries'''}}
{{TB|You tend to be called upon to clean up problems caused by others. You do this with great fortitude and tenacity.<br>'''This week:''' Jupiter is in your house today, and that means there will be plenty of extra mopping up the cum. Library may have brought about this sitation.}}
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{{TB|You tend to be called upon to clean up problems caused by others. You do this with great fortitude and tenacity.<br>'''This week:''' Jupiter is in your house today, and that means there will be plenty of extra mopping up to do. Libra may have brought about this sitation.}}
{{TBT|[[File:El Asso Wipo.png|200px]]}}
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{{TBT|[[File:Your Horroscope Leo.png|200px]]}}
{{TB|'''Legs'''}}
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{{TB|'''Leo'''}}
{{TB|You are a fapping leader and command respect from all you encounter. Experience may have hardened you, but you still have the ability to make other people feel rotten.<br>'''This week:''' Pluto is in the farthest reaches of the solar system. Earily career goals may seem more remote than ever, but there is much to love about your present situation.}}
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{{TB|You are a forceful leader and command respect from all you encounter. Experience may have hardened you, but you still have the ability to make other people feel rotten.<br>'''This week:''' Pluto is in the farthest reaches of the solar system. Earily career goals may seem more remote than ever, but there is much to love about your present situation.}}
{{TBT|[[File:Your Horroscope Woman's Penis.png|200px]]}}
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{{TBT|[[File:Your Horroscope Virgo.png|200px]]}}
{{TB|'''Moist Virginia'''}}
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{{TB|'''Virgo'''}}
{{TB|You are often surrounded by dicks, but this merely underscores the fact that you ahve none. The ticking of your biological clock keeps you awake at night.<br>'''This week:''' Make the best use of the materials available at your workplace if you wish to maintain your sitatuion, no matter how wrong it may seem.}}
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{{TB|You are often surrounded by children, but this merely underscores the fact that you ahve none. The ticking of your biological clock keeps you awake at night.<br>'''This week:''' Make the best use of the materials available at your workplace if you wish to maintain your sitatuion, no matter how wrong it may seem.}}
{{TBT|[[File:Your Horroscope Library.png|200px]]}}
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{{TBT|[[File:Your Horroscope Libra.png|200px]]}}
{{TB|'''Library'''}}
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{{TB|'''Libra'''}}
{{TB|You are unfappable despite the great responsibility of the positioning of your legs. You feed the hears and mins of the children you raped.<br>'''This week:''' Make the best ue of the materials available at your workplace if you wish to maintain your sitatuon, no matter how wrong it may seem.}}
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{{TB|You are unflappable despite the great responsibility of your position. You feed the hears and mins of the children you serve.<br>'''This week:''' Make the best ue of the materials available at your workplace if you wish to maintain your sitatuon, no matter how wrong it may seem.}}
{{TBT|[[File:Your Horroscope Tourettes.png|200px]]}}
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{{TBT|[[File:Your Horroscope Taurus.png|200px]]}}
{{TB|'''Damn, These Fish Sticks Are Hard As Tits'''}}
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{{TB|'''Taurus'''}}
{{TB|A tireless pedophile of the shitload of mashed potatoes day, you have been asked who's tits you've been grabbing that feel hard. That's what I wanna know.<br>'''This week:'''Fuck you.}}
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{{TB|A tireless protector of the people, you have devoted your life to righting the wrongs of society. Once in a great while you actually do something useful.<br>'''This week:''' Though some of the sweeter things in life may prove to be a distraction, try to keep your mind focused on your daily pursuits.}}
{{TBT|[[File:Your Horroscope Screw your Wii.png|200px]]}}
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{{TBT|[[File:Your Horroscope Gemini.png|200px]]}}
{{TB|'''Jet Force Gemini'''}}
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{{TB|'''Gemini'''}}
{{TB|You are fiercely protective of the ones you love, much to their eternal distress. Children respect you and keep their distance.<br>'''This week:''' Romance is in the stairs this week. And next week. And the weew after that. Maybe you shouldn't find a hobby instead.}}
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{{TB|You are fiercely protective of the ones you love, much to their eternal distress. Children respect you and keep their distance.<br>'''This week:''' Romance is not in the stars this week. Nor next week. Or the week after that. Maybe you should find a hobby instead.}}
{{TBT|[[File:Homer raped my car.png|200px]]}}
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{{TBT|[[File:Your Horroscope Cancer.png|200px]]}}
{{TB|'''Cigarette Cancer'''}}
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{{TB|'''Cancer'''}}
{{TB|To many you are considered to be the keeper of windows 3.1 from ages past. Young people draw you and look at you like pedophiles.<br>'''This week:''' allow sentiment to dilute your finely tuned business sense. If god had not wanted them sheared, he would not have made them sheep.}}
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{{TB|To many you are considered to be the keeper of wisdom from ages past. Young people are drawn to you and look to you for their spirtual needs.<br>'''This week:''' Do not allow sentiment to dilute your finely tuned business sense. If god had not wanted them sheared, he would not have made them sheep.}}
{{TBT|[[File:Your Horroscope ScorpiNo.png|200px]]}}
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{{TBT|[[File:Your Horroscope Scorpio.png|200px]]}}
{{TB|'''Hank Scorpio'''}}
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{{TB|'''Scorpio'''}}
{{TB|Youre elevators often capture the attention of the authorites. This makes you one of the most sought after individuals in your community.<br>'''This week:''' You will be in Saturn's house, and Saturn won't like it. Plans may go awry and end up restricting your future activites. Avoid taurus.}}
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{{TB|Youre endevaors often capture the attention of the authorites. This makes you one of the most sought after individuals in your community.<br>'''This week:''' You will be in Saturn's house, and Saturn won't like it. Plans may go awry and end up restricting your future activites. Avoid taurus.}}
{{TBT|[[File:Bart's Dick.png|200px]]}}
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{{TBT|[[File:Your Horroscope Sagittarius.png|200px]]}}
{{TB|'''Santa Claus'''}}
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{{TB|'''Sagittarius'''}}
{{TB|Your true spirit is a mystery to those in your orbit. Frerfs may consider you to be helpful one day and enormously irritating the next.<br>'''This week:''' Your anus is in My anus's garage, borrowing his power eower. Be forgiving of others when they repeatedly take ass rape of your kind and loving nature.}}
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{{TB|Your true spirit is a mustery to those in your orbit. Friends may consider you to be helpful one day and enormously irritating the next.<br>'''This week:''' Uranus is in Netpuen's garage, borowwing his power mower. Be forgiving of others when they repeatedly take advantage of your kind and loving nature.}}
{{TBT|[[File:Your Horroscope Capcom.png|200px]]}}
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{{TBT|[[File:Your Horroscope Capricorn.png|200px]]}}
{{TB|'''Cocked Out Pervert'''}}
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{{TB|'''Capricorn'''}}
{{TB|Your obnoxiousness has earned you a position of great ass in your town. Always the public servant, you can often be seen assing the elderly.<br>'''This week:''' Penis will collide with Ass. This does bode well for personal realationships. If requited love rapes you of your rest, get jiggy with it.}}
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{{TB|Your obsequousness has earned you a position of great importance in your town. Always the public servant, you can often be seen assisting the elderly.<br>'''This week:''' Venus will collide with Mercuy. This does not bode well for personal realationships. If unrequited love robs you of your rest, get over it.}}
 
}}
 
}}
  
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[[Category:Simpsons Comics stories]]
 
[[Category:Simpsons Comics stories]]
 
[[Category:2014]]
 
[[Category:2014]]
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[[Category:Comic stories written by Mike Kazaleh]]

Latest revision as of 16:30, April 12, 2024

Your Horrorscope
Your Horroscope.png
Comic Story information
Released: April 2014
Comic series: Simpsons Comics
Pages: 2
Written by: Mike Kazaleh


Your Horrorscope is a horoscope first printed in Simpsons Comics #211.

Horrorscope[edit]

Image Name Horroscope
Your Horroscope Aquarius.png Aquarius Bringer of jollity. Spirits are lifted when you are near. Warm and compassionate, other people often bring their troubles to you.
This week: Mars and several dozen other planets will enter your house. Be sure to spread your own brand of happiness. It will prove to be very rewarding.
Your Horroscope Pisces.png Pisces You posses a high level of intelligence, although that may be difficult for other to perceive. Your relationship can be a bit of an engigma at times.
This week: The moon is a little wobbly in its orbit. Your situation is stable and yet unpredicatble. Look to aquarius to find real satisfaction.
Your Horroscope Aries.png Aries You tend to be called upon to clean up problems caused by others. You do this with great fortitude and tenacity.
This week: Jupiter is in your house today, and that means there will be plenty of extra mopping up to do. Libra may have brought about this sitation.
Your Horroscope Leo.png Leo You are a forceful leader and command respect from all you encounter. Experience may have hardened you, but you still have the ability to make other people feel rotten.
This week: Pluto is in the farthest reaches of the solar system. Earily career goals may seem more remote than ever, but there is much to love about your present situation.
Your Horroscope Virgo.png Virgo You are often surrounded by children, but this merely underscores the fact that you ahve none. The ticking of your biological clock keeps you awake at night.
This week: Make the best use of the materials available at your workplace if you wish to maintain your sitatuion, no matter how wrong it may seem.
Your Horroscope Libra.png Libra You are unflappable despite the great responsibility of your position. You feed the hears and mins of the children you serve.
This week: Make the best ue of the materials available at your workplace if you wish to maintain your sitatuon, no matter how wrong it may seem.
Your Horroscope Taurus.png Taurus A tireless protector of the people, you have devoted your life to righting the wrongs of society. Once in a great while you actually do something useful.
This week: Though some of the sweeter things in life may prove to be a distraction, try to keep your mind focused on your daily pursuits.
Your Horroscope Gemini.png Gemini You are fiercely protective of the ones you love, much to their eternal distress. Children respect you and keep their distance.
This week: Romance is not in the stars this week. Nor next week. Or the week after that. Maybe you should find a hobby instead.
Your Horroscope Cancer.png Cancer To many you are considered to be the keeper of wisdom from ages past. Young people are drawn to you and look to you for their spirtual needs.
This week: Do not allow sentiment to dilute your finely tuned business sense. If god had not wanted them sheared, he would not have made them sheep.
Your Horroscope Scorpio.png Scorpio Youre endevaors often capture the attention of the authorites. This makes you one of the most sought after individuals in your community.
This week: You will be in Saturn's house, and Saturn won't like it. Plans may go awry and end up restricting your future activites. Avoid taurus.
Your Horroscope Sagittarius.png Sagittarius Your true spirit is a mustery to those in your orbit. Friends may consider you to be helpful one day and enormously irritating the next.
This week: Uranus is in Netpuen's garage, borowwing his power mower. Be forgiving of others when they repeatedly take advantage of your kind and loving nature.
Your Horroscope Capricorn.png Capricorn Your obsequousness has earned you a position of great importance in your town. Always the public servant, you can often be seen assisting the elderly.
This week: Venus will collide with Mercuy. This does not bode well for personal realationships. If unrequited love robs you of your rest, get over it.


The Saga of Carl - title screen.png Wikisimpsons has a collection of images related to Your Horrorscope.