Difference between revisions of "Moe Szyslak's Romantic Poems for the Lazy Lover"
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'''Moe Szyslak's Romantic Poems for the Lazy Lover''' is poems by [[Moe]] in ''[[Homer Simpson's Little Book of Laziness]]''. | '''Moe Szyslak's Romantic Poems for the Lazy Lover''' is poems by [[Moe]] in ''[[Homer Simpson's Little Book of Laziness]]''. | ||
| − | ==Poems== | + | == Poems == |
| − | ===The greatest gift=== | + | === The greatest gift === |
:''I look around in vain for a gift worthy of my love for you.'' | :''I look around in vain for a gift worthy of my love for you.'' | ||
:''TV remote,'' | :''TV remote,'' | ||
| Line 15: | Line 15: | ||
:''Happy birthday, hon.'' | :''Happy birthday, hon.'' | ||
| − | ===The goal=== | + | === The goal === |
:''My goal in life,'' | :''My goal in life,'' | ||
:''In love,'' | :''In love,'' | ||
| Line 33: | Line 33: | ||
:''And fix me a sandwich?'' | :''And fix me a sandwich?'' | ||
| − | ===Morning after #27=== | + | === Morning after #27 === |
:''Socks and bras and skivvies,'' | :''Socks and bras and skivvies,'' | ||
:''Like steeping-stones'' | :''Like steeping-stones'' | ||
| Line 47: | Line 47: | ||
:''Before you leave.'' | :''Before you leave.'' | ||
| − | ===Here's lookin' at you=== | + | === Here's lookin' at you === |
:''You and me, wea agreed to call it quites'' | :''You and me, wea agreed to call it quites'' | ||
:''Then by chance I saw you with the weasel-facked jerk'' | :''Then by chance I saw you with the weasel-facked jerk'' | ||
| Line 64: | Line 64: | ||
:''You have a nice life.'' | :''You have a nice life.'' | ||
| − | ===The debt=== | + | === The debt === |
:''You say I owe you'' | :''You say I owe you'' | ||
:''For making you watch cars transform into giant metal gods.'' | :''For making you watch cars transform into giant metal gods.'' | ||
| Line 87: | Line 87: | ||
:''Oh well...'' | :''Oh well...'' | ||
:''Hasta la vista, baby!'' | :''Hasta la vista, baby!'' | ||
| + | |||
| + | [[Category:Book segments]] | ||
Latest revision as of 11:40, August 4, 2021
Moe Szyslak's Romantic Poems for the Lazy Lover is poems by Moe in Homer Simpson's Little Book of Laziness.
Contents
Poems[edit]
The greatest gift[edit]
- I look around in vain for a gift worthy of my love for you.
- TV remote,
- Ashtray,
- Footstool...
- That lamp don't suck too bad.
- Then it his me like the base you thre last spring.
- The greastest gift I could give?
- This here poem.
- It belongs to you now.
- Though I still hold the copyright.
- Happy birthday, hon.
The goal[edit]
- My goal in life,
- In love,
- In whaterver it is that you and me got,
- Is to serve you,
- To delight you,
- To make your dreams come true.
- Pass your heart to me,
- And i promise to run with it,
- Held tight against my own.
- Though tackled, I will never fumble.
- Though on my fourth down, I will never punt
- Though penalized, I will return to the frag,
- More determined than ever to reach that goal,
- By the way, the game is on.
- Could you make it your goal to keep the chattiness down
- And fix me a sandwich?
Morning after #27[edit]
- Socks and bras and skivvies,
- Like steeping-stones
- Between toilet and mattress.
- White sheet tangle,v
- Moist with sweat.
- Half-empty cartoons,
- Soy and silver noodle,
- Chopsticks akimbo.
- The memory of our lust
- Hangs pungent in the darkened room.
- Please clean up
- Before you leave.
Here's lookin' at you[edit]
- You and me, wea agreed to call it quites
- Then by chance I saw you with the weasel-facked jerk
- A beast with two backs
- Glowing in the light of the street lamp
- Outside your bedroom window
- As my loafers turned your petunias into dirt salad
- The bile rose in my throat
- Like a dead roach to the top of a pickled jear.
- Hot rage smacked the back of my skull,
- Took the express down my spine and into my stomach,
- Makin' me hungry for the Saturday Night Special.
- Then a cop siren screamed my name,
- Far away, but close enough to samck away the crazy.
- Sorry, baby, you ain't worth doin' no jail time for.
- You have a nice life.
The debt[edit]
- You say I owe you
- For making you watch cars transform into giant metal gods.
- You say I owe you
- For showing you ahandsome heroes, shaken but not stirred,
- In masks and capes and armor, giving evil a holy beat down.
- Before your baby blues
- Zombies, aliens, time-traveling robots, and still I owe you.
- Impossible missions, human cetinipedes, and still I owe you.
- Barbarians, Bournes, and Bilbos, and still I owe you.
- Date night, here at last--
- What chick flick, Streeped in Meryl and Meg and McConaughey,
- Will erase my blockbuster debt?
- What eating and pryaing and loving snoozefest must I endure
- To settle the score and remove the frost from your soft shoulder?
- But wait, some other time.
- Gout's flarin' up, so I gotta get off my feet and in fron of the tube.
- Ooh, Schwarzenegger marathon on TBS...
- Don't leave.
- I'll make it up to you.
- Don't go.
- Oh well...
- Hasta la vista, baby!
